I hear so many people saying how Facebook makes them feel far worse, so much so that I thought it deserves it's own thread.

I am of both sides of the coin: when I felt super crappy about myself and my life, being on Facebook made me feel so much worse.

Of course I am fully aware of the fact that people post mainly the happiest moments of their life, not the worse moments, so it appears like their lives are perfect. And some people, like to flaunt and simply show off with all their selfies and posts etc.

Still, in knowing that fact, I still felt horrible about myself when I went on... seeing all my happy friends, their families and everything they had that I didn't.

But, once I started working on my life and on my own goals, it didn't bother me so much. I was genuinely happy for my friends, seeing them happy and having fun. I was getting out and having fun too. And I was working on improving my life.

And now that I am more stable, happier and more fulfilled in my life, I find Facebook to be a lot of fun..... I socialize with my friends on there, I post fun & goofy pics, I keep in touch with my oldest friends, and I find fun events to attend.

I know many cannot stand Facebook, but many thrive on it and get super addicted to it.

I think it's very natural as well to feel a bit of an ego boost or to gain affirmation when you have lots of friends, comments and likes on your page. I admit that I get a boost from that -- it tells me my friends care about me, and that makes me feel good.

So, anyways, I wonder how many ppl here feel Facebook is bad for mental health in general, and what people here believe. It could be a controversial topic, I don't know.

Facebook is here to stay, and ppl either join or reject it outright. I am finding it has its benefits, but also its limitations and problems.

[pachyderm]

I use Facebook only for connection to family and friends, and have no fear that it is bad for my mental health. It's one of the few ways I connect with those people.

I do not get my news, except for local news posted by Friends, from Facebook.

I do like to hear the stories about her chickens from one of my Friends!

I believe so, due to my personal experience. Personally it left me somewhat more crippled.

In brief, I saw all my old friends, long gone -- or not having any contact with them makes me dead to me -- forgetting me and posting photos with RJs, influential people, some grownups to the point of marriage, photos with girls etc. etc. That made me feel worse. Because

1) Created FB because I could not connect with friends in real life.
2) Couldn't upload even a photo of myself because you know, it's fun not to own a smartphone. "We don't have money for smartphone", dad would tell me. And it's not that I am allowed to go outside on my own either. I am going to turn 18 this December.
3) Was ignored in chat.
4) Never tagged.

[seesaw]

I don't find FB bad for my mental health, but I find that when I'm having bad days, FB can be a bad place to be. I don't think it's FB itself, I think it's the nature of the interaction that some people can and can't handle. Most of FB for me is drama free, except I am part of a private community group that has a lot of drama. I don't participate in the drama, I dont' even post on there. I mostly just lurk and munch on popcorn while watching people argue about pointless things. It's my very own soap opera!

Yeah, I have experienced very little bad on Facebook. I mean, I have learned not to comment on stuff if I don't want an argument, or to just turn off notifications or block people if something gets out of control (which it rarely does). I honestly don't spend too much time on FB other than looking at photos my family and close friends share from their daily lives, which I appreciate. I also have to use it for work, so I'm on my work's page and sharing stuff there, but it has nothing to do with me or me interacting with others.

I think it's more about the person than the place, whether or not it's a safe environment for mental health.

Seesaw

I am inclined to agree that it can be. It really depends on how you use it, how much time you spend on it, and how pervasive you allow it to be part of your live.

There are those who have hundreds of 'friends'. I find this questionable. There are those who use FB as their primary form of communication. I find this problematic.

I myself limit my friends list to only those people I know in real life. I avoid using it as journal of my activities - people don't need to know the ins and outs of my daily life and I don't want to know theirs. I limit the amount of time I am on FB and tend to look at it as merely a form of entertainment. The exception to this rule is that I use Messenger to briefly manage communication with my out-of-town family. Even this gets down to business as I avoid 'chatting' with a preference to actually talking to them.

The result is that I consider my FB use to be healthier than what I understand is the norm.

I hear so many ugly and sad stories about people's FB use and what has become an obsessive reliance on it.

I think you need to question the time you spend on it. How often do you check on it? Are you cable of leaving your phone untouched when out with people in the real world or must you follow-up on every notification?

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I think you need to question the time you spend on it. How often do you check on it? Are you cable of leaving your phone untouched when out with people in the real world or must you follow-up on every notification?

You know it's funny. My boyfriend posts and comments on FB a LOT, so I find myself on there more often now, and checking notifications when I am out...... I think I am slowly becoming reeled in to the FB world.... I'd rather not be as much. But then again, like Seesaw, I also use it for professional reasons and need to respond to people's comments in a timely manner.

You all have great points about it's pluses and minuses! I think it probably really does vary on a case by case basis.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

You know it's funny. My boyfriend posts and comments on FB a LOT, so I find myself on there more often now, and checking notifications when I am out...... I think I am slowly becoming reeled in to the FB world.... I'd rather not be as much. But then again, like Seesaw, I also use it for professional reasons and need to respond to people's comments in a timely manner.

You all have great points about it's pluses and minuses! I think it probably really does vary on a case by case basis.

I think, like anything, just know how to protect yourself. When a debate gets too heated, I turn off the notifications so I can't engage anymore. If someone is harassing me or won't let up on something, I block them (more so I can't see their stuff and get riled up). This doesn't happen often, once in a blue moon, but I always know it's an option.

Seesaw

Originally Posted by seesaw

I think, like anything, just know how to protect yourself. When a debate gets too heated, I turn off the notifications so I can't engage anymore. If someone is harassing me or won't let up on something, I block them (more so I can't see their stuff and get riled up). This doesn't happen often, once in a blue moon, but I always know it's an option.

Seesaw

I actually avoid all drama on FB.. I've had to block a few ex's & maybe 1-2 ppl, but that's it.

I think this is a great topic. For myself FB can swing either way. When I get overwhelmed I will deactivate for a while and just breathe.

I did have to block all news sites. I simply can not cope with all the negative things that happen in the world. It really affects me.

I block any old friends I am tempted to "stalk". Sometimes I am curious how they are doing, I look and it upsets me because I miss them. So I block people and then I never look.

I sometimes get overwhelmed by the sheer volume of information coming at me. I also am a person who will argue until I'm blue in the face over the topics I am passionate about. I cant sit back and watch someone throw out hurtful comments to other people.

The positive is that I find a lot of support there. I posted often when I was severely depressed and people reached out to me. My husband posted when I went into the psych ward and I had non stop visitors. I also have a lot of fun joking around with friends back and forth and keeping in touch when we get busy.

[*Laurie*]

I joined Fb years ago when it changed from being only for college students to opening up for the general public. So, a long time ago. I love being connected with friends...life-long IRL friends (people I grew up with, including a few very close friends). I also have some dear internet friends, women I've known for 13 years (were on a forum together). In addition, I belong to several Fb pages that I really enjoy.
I get most of my news from reputable news sites on Fb.
I also maintain contact with my grown children and extended family...pics, etc. That's the most important part of Fb for me.

That said...I have been viciously bullied on Fb (I was admin of an art page and some of the members just plain attacked me for no reason other than to create problems; it was an awful, awful experience).
It's too tempting to get involved in heated arguments with strangers (especially if I'm manic!!).

I get sooo tired of seeing pics of people's food (yuck).

I feel like I come across to new Fb acquaintances as a freak. That is the biggest problem with Fb for me. With the exception of the pages for mental illness (the bipolar disorder page, for example), the majority of people on Fb are neuronormals with too much time on their hands. Lots of gossip, way too mean and nasty. I am pretty sure I message/post things on the local community art page I'm on that causes people to be suspicious of me in certain ways. I just don't know how to interact without being very honest about how I feel. I've never been good with "small talk" IRL...no good with it on Fb, either.
For example, I posted that I support the true cause of ATWA (Air, Trees, Water, Animals) and that just because certain members of the Manson family started the group back in 1967 doesn't mean ATWA doesn't have some validity. Major environmental causes, actively opposed to animal abuse of any kind. Etc. They post some terrific articles, for example.

Well, most people are closed-minded and not well self-educated about such things as the subtleties of the Manson case. No one "said" anything, but I sensed that everyone except 1 person kind of pulled away from me. I wish people would just ASK.

So I feel like Fb remains superficial. Not many people use it to educate themselves and that frustrates me and angers me.
Overall, I do believe that Facebook is bad for my mental health, yes. I wish I would not spend as much time on it as I do. Ideally, I would like to spend no mre than 1/2 an hour per day on Fb.

Facebook can be bad for mental health, particularly when it's filled with crap about how brilliant someone's life is.

Originally Posted by whispershadow

Facebook can be bad for mental health, particularly when it's filled with crap about how brilliant someone's life is.

Yes... and when your own life is suffering, it makes it that much harder to feel good.

Yep plus it can be scary, particularly when someone is bothering you and keeps making new accounts to bother you and facebook can't do nothing to stop it.

YIKES! That alone would keep me off FB altogether!

I have to admit, I like having fb. I don’t know why I want to collect everyone I can from my childhood, just to know they are there.

I liked looking at their posts for a while, but I’m bored with it now. People don’t post as much as they used to.

There are two females in my feed that are annoying—endless duck-face kissy selfies with others or their kids looking less than stellar. Then someone takes a photo of them they aren’t expecting and suddenly they look much heavier in one case and 15 years older in the other (she is using app to remove wrinkles and only takes at angles jutting her chin out, etc). People exaggerate how good they look, how happy they are, and how much fun they are having. Both of these women I think are far more miserable than the rest of us (one I know has lost custody of her children by two different men, but you wouldn’t know by looking at fb, they look like they are living with her, but these are visits; the other poor soul somehow doesn’t know she is engaged to someone I know very well is incapable of monogamy, and I can’t understand how she can’t tell! Well, actually she probably can but thinks she will be the exception(.

So, when I see stuff like that, I know people are compensating or exaggerating. At least, people my age, I think.

I like using the groups for information I’m looking for. Local groups about the city I live in, diet groups, groups related to work on things I need to keep up with, etc.

Yeah.... people definitely exaggerate their lives on FB, no doubt. It's an image that people want others to believe and see. That's kind of sad that people feel the need to put up such a facade.

Gauging from all the responses so far, it seems like FB is truly a mixed bag. Both positive aspects and negative aspects, as I would have expected.

[Deejay14]

FB has been nothing but fun for me. I mainly started using it when my niece went to S. Korea for a year so I could follow her adventure. I mainly use it to keep up with family, which is fun right now because we have a lot of toddlers.
Since I keep it to family and a few friends I don't experience the drama. My family can hardly be described as drama ridden. We all keep good boundaries on FB as it's not the place to air our business.

[healingme4me]

I think it has it's drawbacks and some positives. Lately it's the ads at the top of newsfeeds that are particularly annoying to myself and some others in my inner circle. ((and yeah...i get it...keeps it free, etc etc))
It's helpful in that I've joined some groups as they pertain to parenting. There's one that is helpful for work. It can be great for a couple of products that I buy and I can get sales updates etc.
I would say that much of what anyone is really posting gets drowned by the noise, so to speak. Instagram is a fav pic sharing method for those in my inner circle.
If I want current updates on what's going on locally, it's beneficial.
It's convenient to share family photos and the like. So I'm probably one of those "only share happy moments" types of posters. Not that if I try being authentic I get much response...:\ (ive tried)

[Blueberrybook]

I think overall, yes. My youngest sister (no mental health issues) went off social media completely because she said it was making her feel inadequate as a wife & mother, and she is the most awesome mother I know.

No, it's not

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by key tones

......

There are two females in my feed that are annoying—endless duck-face kissy selfies with others or their kids looking less than stellar. Then someone takes a photo of them they aren’t expecting and suddenly they look much heavier in one case and 15 years older in the other (she is using app to remove wrinkles and only takes at angles jutting her chin out, etc)........

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

So true!!! WHAT is with those stupid apps?! They make people look like they've had a bad face lift. Do people really think they're pulling that ***** off?

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

So true!!! WHAT is with those stupid apps?! They make people look like they've had a bad face lift. Do people really think they're pulling that ***** off?

Damn, I have used the "softener" filter on my phone...thought I was pulling it off. I don't use it to the full 100%, I only do about 15%...Come on...getting old is hard, at least my pics can look less wrinkly.

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

So true!!! WHAT is with those stupid apps?! They make people look like they've had a bad face lift. Do people really think they're pulling that ***** off?

Ugh...I wish I had a way out of seeing these two and their endless annoying selfies. They are in my close circle, unfortunately (sigh).

Originally Posted by seesaw

Damn, I have used the "softener" filter on my phone...thought I was pulling it off. I don't use it to the full 100%, I only do about 15%...Come on...getting old is hard, at least my pics can look less wrinkly.

Oh, I’m sure your pic is tasteful. You are such a skilled and experienced professional. It probably looks like a brochure headshot for your business

[Helmus]

I can't speak for others, but for me it's bad for my mental health. I avoid it nowadays as much as possible.