internal struggle

So I'm not really sure what's wrong with me. I've taken on completely different people to be (Mason is the name I usually go by and is myself. Evan is the "better" version) and then I'll talk to people as two different people. I try to be this better person using Evan but now I'm in the lies and if I fess up to somebody that I'm Mason and not Evan, they'll get mad and leave. Because I've said things about them as Mason and had "Evan" tell them. I use to think I was bipolar but this goes beyond that. It can't be MPD either because I'm fully aware of my actions and can play two people at once. It's like I disconnect myself from my flaws to build this better half and I've already lost one person who found out. What can I do or what is wrong with me?

((((EmilyK94)))) I'm so sorry you're struggling. From what you wrote, it sounds like you may have DID. The only way to know for sure, though, is through a proper diagnosis. Please, go see your doctor as soon as you can.

Thank you so much. I'll be sure to go and see for myself before assuming I do have such.

I agree with your guess, my guess is not DID (your word MPD) heres why. the diagnostics with DID rule out alters that are imaginary friends.

DID type alters have both a medical/ physical component and a mental element called dissociation. it doesnt involve consciously choosing to be others and consciously choosing to talk in different tones of voice. and yes DID has problem associated with it called dissociative amnesia.

since you are in your worlds purposely trying to be these two other identities and purposely trying to disconnect yourself from your flaws, Iif this was me
and I told my treatment providers this they would tell me that I was normal. my opinion is that thats normal, everyone that I know including me hates their flaws and uses many different ways to get away, avoid facing them.

After telling me its normal for people to choose to talk in other voices if they want to pretending to be other people and choosing to do this to avoid and get away from their flaws, they would work with me to change what ever flaws I feel I may have by changing my behaviors and thoughts. (basic Cognitive behavioral Therapy) they would ask me to do home work of catching myself pretending to be other people and look at why I am doing that and see if there is something that I can change....if i dont like something about my weight or other appearance to do something about that, rather than pretending to be other people. if I dont like my behavior do things to change my behaviors, if I dont like my voice take voice lessens...

my point is if this trying to pretend to be other people is bothering you or continuing to bother you, contact a treatment provider and they will be able to help you learn other ways to deal with your flaws, be the better person that you want you and your life to be.

Hello EmilyK: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral.

Of course we here on PC can't diagnose you. This is a job for a mental health professional. You might start by talking with a school counselor if you're still in school. You could also, perhaps, seek a referral to a mental health professional from your general practice doctor. Or you could see if you could arrange to see a mental health therapist in your area. Seeing a mental health professional is the way to figure out what is going on with you.

In the meantime, one additional thing you could do would be to take some of the quizzes & tests that are on offer here on PC. Here's a link to the listing of quizzes & tests that are available:

Psychological Quizzes and Tests

I know you mentioned you don't think what is going on with you could be MPD. However reading through some of the posts in the dissociative disorders forum, as well as perhaps posting there yourself with regard to what you are experiencing, may help you to clarify what's occurring. Here's a link to that forum, just in case you haven't already found it:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/dissociative-disorders/

Here's a link to an article, from PsychCentral's archives, that offers an in-depth look at dissociative disorders:

In-Depth: Understanding Dissociative Disorders

And lastly... you might also want to consider introducing yourself to the general membership, here on PC, over on the new members introductions forum:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.