The Ebb and Flow

It would seem that no one needs to be reminded that this is a Mental Health Support site... but apparently some do.

Through reading postings in various forums, there are posts from people that are having a rough time yet feel guilty because they feel they don't have anything to contribute. That's okay! We've all been in that place. Some have been able to accept whatever support is out there, gotten out of our funk or bad time and been able to come back and give back some of what we've received. That, to me, is "Ebb and Flow".

Some feel that they've given their all either to a forum or to an individual then there is silence, or somthing happens to trigger. Suddenly, we're angry and afraid or angry and aggressive. Sometimes, bonds are formed, but with two individuals seeing that bond with two different perspectives. At those times, inveriably, someone gets their feelings hurt.

Much is said that the Acceptance level here is great. Be that as it may, some need to remember the differences in other people and respect that. Nothing is a one-way street. Some like to make it that way or think it is that way by nature, but that's not true... especially on a site like this. There has to be Ebb and Flow, give and take and above all, kindness and respect for the other person(s).

In that same Ebb and Flow, there are those who continually spread "love and affection." If only we could believe those kind words of understanding and keep some of them for ourselves. Accept what is given, be it kindness or constructive critisism, sit with it for a while and take whatever good there is and leave the rest... much like the waves of the ocean deposit on the shore what isn't the ocean's to begin with. Ebb and Flow.

And just like the ocean often reclaims it's territory, let's learn to keep for ourselves what we need to keep the most; Truth, Kindness, Honesty, Respect, Love. When you pay these forward, one must always keep enough for themselves. To repeat a well worn phrase, "Put the oxygen on yourself FIRST, then attend to those around you." If you don't have enough for yourself, how can you give others any help?

And above all, don't throw your pearls to the swine! Some will accept what you have to give and some will reject any goodness. That's where they happen to be in their journey. What we may have to offer may not be what they're looking for. Accept it without taking it personally. Yes, easier said than done... but still doable. Save your "pearls" for those that will accept them. Take care that your "pearls" are not misunderstood. Be clear and concise when you expose them to the light. Again, this is a Mental Health Support site. Not everyone has the same meaning to your words that you do!

Peace and Affection to everyone.

Tomiwiseladyalways

Thank you, Sweetie!

But do you know where wisdom comes from? From falling down and scraping your knees, sometimes really bad. That's how you know to not do that again! LOL Still, I keep falling... sometimes.

Yep I can understand that. And the still falling too. Its a live and learn kind of thing...I think its so hard sometimes because you dont want to lose ( for lack of a better word) essence of who you are in the learning either. HOpe that makes sense?

I feel its always up and down for me to give support here. Its not that I dont want to, just hard to with things going on. Doesnt mean I dont love you guys or dont want to give ya support and love and all that. I just feel I dont have any to give at the time.. or some days I feel to stupid to know what to say or do for you.

I love all of you... I just want you to know that.
PC

Total and complete sense, Hon... but when you have Heart, you don't need too many brains.

i agree , good post

Thank you, Linda!

Good post!!

Thank you, Ma'am!

Tomi,

What an awsome post. I can definitely say I have been in the Ebb & Flow here. I try when I am in a good place to provide the insights to others that I have had throughout my journey.....then again, like now......others are most definitely providing their words of wisdom & kindness, insights, & just loveing thoughts that are helping me so much right now.

It's like friendships however for me....I am always afraid that I am taking too much in the relationship & not giving enough. I just pray that I can give back to everyone all that they are giving me & have given me over these past several months & years. (tears in my eyes).

Debbie

That was beautifully said. Thank you.

I agree that was a great post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the website with all of us. Many good points to take note of.

Debbie, Sweety... You've come so far since I first me you! YOU are the one that is awesome!

The more I read from you, the more I realize how much our thoughts and beliefs are alike. Of course, that makes you even more special to me... in a selfish sort of way, but mostly, your words are such a wonderful affirmation for my own beliefs. I admire you, the path you've taken and how sure you are of where you're standing now. So... then I can't be all that wrong, can I?

Take what you need from those of us that support you so wholeheartedly. When you've had your fill and are standing upright again, then you can continue to share your words of wisdom with us.

Thank you Tomi,

You are so kind. Sadly at this point, I feel anything but awsome......as matter of fact, I feel like another bottom is being hit right now.....however I am learning from it & I have also noticed that my thoughts are working on future plans since the ones I had when I left Kentucky have been crushed (in more than one way)

I do find that our thoughts & beliefs are very similar . That makes what you say meaningful to me because I can relate to your words & the way you express what you are saying.

You are right.....we have to be able to take when we need & give when we can. When things settle down.......the give will be there I'm sure....it just feels so horrible when it isn't there to give.

Debbie

{{{{{{{{{{{{Debbie}}}}}}}}}}}}}

If there is anything I can do, please let me know.

Thanks Tomi,

All my future plans are now up in the air right now. I have been feeling so sick, I can hardly get out of bed right now. I just push myself to do the things I absolutely have to but beyond that..........

I may not be going back to KY when I expected.....I will be very angry to miss Christmas in KY but can't justify the cost of going back only to have to be back here the first of the year to fill a prescription........they are really messing with me on that too.

It seems that nothing can be simple or even easy for me......I am just so tired of feeling like I have to be the one pushing to get everything in my life to happen the way it needs to be.

Will let you know about visiting soon.
Debbie

Dudes,

I havent heard the words Ebb and Flow in like forever

While I do agree with Tomi's thoughts about the oxygen thingie, I think (at least for meself and probably for others) a lot of us have been putting the mask on the other person first anyhoo

I could sure use some oxygen to the old brain, thats what me friends tell me anyhoo

Love to all...

{{{{{{{{{{{Debbie}}}}}}}}}}}}} When we're down like you are right now, it seems as we have always had to claw and scrath for anything good in our lives. I feel that way myself. Try to think positive, Sweety. Think of the good things that have happened in your life lately.

gosh and how many times have I scraped mine....still, I keep getting back up from the knocks....I feel I'm worthy of that....I struggle to understand sometimes though how people can cast stones irl and think they are being helpful. I fail to understand also irl how people can believe things that hurt when they dont know the truth, and even worse that said people irl are no angels themselves?

those friends or so called I am managing to avoid though...does me no good to hear negative stuff right now.

sending love and hugs to everyone

jin

well said..good post september.