[Rive1976]

I noticed in my early 20s that I began to have happy feelings towards bad things. Like seeing someone wounded in an accident or hearing about a murder. I even catch myself smiling at these things from time to time but I dont really think they are funny. Well a part of me does though. What could this be?

[Turtleboy]

some people laugh nervously when they hear bad news, its not a reflection of the person, just comfortableness with bad situations, we are all drawn to fails and in depth profiles on societies less than desirable people, my friend calls it murder porn, i agree but the more you take in a particular type of media the more like that you become, these things are interesting but should not be held up as anything more than a topical interest item

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by Turtleboy

some people laugh nervously when they hear bad news, its not a reflection of the person, just comfortableness with bad situations, we are all drawn to fails and in depth profiles on societies less than desirable people, my friend calls it murder porn, i agree but the more you take in a particular type of media the more like that you become, these things are interesting but should not be held up as anything more than a topical interest item

Thanks Turtleboy. My problem is that I do enjoy bad things but I also feel bad for enjoying them. For instance Sat. I was at my dads and he watches all those crime scene shows. They were talking about someone who had got dismembered and I had to hide my smile but I always feel bad after the fact. Aldo when people are telling me really horrible things sometimes I have to concentrate on not smiling when part of me really wants to and another part is like this is so not something to think is funny.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Dnester

I noticed in my early 20s that I began to have happy feelings towards bad things. Like seeing someone wounded in an accident or hearing about a murder. I even catch myself smiling at these things from time to time but I dont really think they are funny. Well a part of me does though. What could this be?

in me this was called normal. when you think about it children are "conditioned" to laugh at things like this by...

tv shows (america's funniest videos, laurel and hardy, the three stooges and others ) all contain watching people get hurt then laughing about it.

in high school what happens - students heckle each other for falling, getting hurt, making a joke of getting hurt

the internet is no stranger in this kind of thing... just go to facebook and see all the dangerous "challenges" that people are doing to harm their selves and then laugh and joke about it.

its no wonder young adults find hurtful things to be funny and interesting.

on a more personal note my treatment providers call it in me...... Normal
or suicidal/ homicidal ideations or intrusive thoughts depending upon why I am having those thoughts and which mental disorder its related to. (purposely not posting which disorders in me this is related to because I dont want to activate your hypochondria problems more.

we can not tell you what this is with in you. only your treatment providers can tell you what this is in you. my suggestion is contact your treatment provider and let them know about this, then they will be able to tell you what this is called in you.

[Rive1976]

I dont think its normal to think people being murdered or dying in car accidents is funny. Part of me thinks it is and part of me doesnt. Its like a sadistic part of me comes out.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Dnester You're definitely not alone in this as this thread has already shown. I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. You've been given some great advice in this thread. I'd suggest to follow if you can. I don't think you're a bad person. Are you sure you find it really that funny? You've said that you feel the instinct to smile, but you've also said that you feel immediately guilty afterward. Perhaps it's just a reaction you have to cope with this? Everyone has its onw ways to cope with tragedies, and for some people it may even be laughing or smiling. So yes, I'd say it's actually pretty normal. I understand why you'd feel this way, though. I'd suggest to talk to yoru therapist about this and see how it goes from there. Hopefully she will be able to help you. You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings. Perhaps you could explore the causes of this. Just remember that you're a perfectly normal person. The fact that you still feel guilty proves that you're self-aware. That's great! Be proud of yourself for that. Even if you didn't feel guilty, we can't really control our reactions to tragedies. I wouldn't worry too much about it. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Dnester You're definitely not alone in this as this thread has already shown. I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. You've been given some great advice in this thread. I'd suggest to follow if you can. I don't think you're a bad person. Are you sure you find it really that funny? You've said that you feel the instinct to smile, but you've also said that you feel immediately guilty afterward. Perhaps it's just a reaction you have to cope with this? Everyone has its onw ways to cope with tragedies, and for some people it may even be laughing or smiling. So yes, I'd say it's actually pretty normal. I understand why you'd feel this way, though. I'd suggest to talk to yoru therapist about this and see how it goes from there. Hopefully she will be able to help you. You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings. Perhaps you could explore the causes of this. Just remember that you're a perfectly normal person. The fact that you still feel guilty proves that you're self-aware. That's great! Be proud of yourself for that. Even if you didn't feel guilty, we can't really control our reactions to tragedies. I wouldn't worry too much about it. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

Yeah I mean I know people might like horror or might be a little sadistic naturally. Its like two people fighting in my body. One that thinks horrible things are funny and smiles and another person like that stop that thats awful control yourself.

[Atronach]

Well just know you aren't alone in this, I'd hesitate to say it is fairly common. I sometimes find myself laughing at really gruesome stuff and stories. It's just a healthy amount of schadenfreude, pleasure derived from the pain of others. Wikipedia says children and adults get it, just adults are better at hiding it normally. So maybe you just derive more immediate pleasure, that's no big deal really. And you recognize that it's wrong or you want to feel something else so you've got nothing to worry about at all. It's just a bit of a primal part in all of us, don't worry about it at all

[avlady]

These things are what tv comedy and tv shows are all about. Sometimes things are so surreal we have to laugh and then we can cry either together or alone. Maybe it is just part of your sense of humor you may need to work on or even write things about.

[Fuzzybear]

Sorry to hear this. I do not relate.

[H3rmit]

Well, one thing for sure, people are irrational at a deep level and it's normal to have conflicting thoughts and impulses, so there's that. Sounds to me like some kind of anger at people, and at that moment a lack of empathy. Which I don't mean as a criticism, but just looks like those are two feelings, one that might be there and one that isn't there, but we are culturally expected to feel or express.

Also, I notice your mood is "don't know." Maybe, like me, you have trouble identifying your feelings at times. Kinda sounds like that is happening here.

Edit: Also, there's a thing called schadenfreude - taking pleasure in other people's misfortune. You can google that word and read more about it if you like.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Sorry to hear this. I do not relate.

Fuzzybear I have missed you!

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by Dnester

I noticed in my early 20s that I began to have happy feelings towards bad things. Like seeing someone wounded in an accident or hearing about a murder. I even catch myself smiling at these things from time to time but I dont really think they are funny. Well a part of me does though. What could this be?

May I ask you something? And if you don't want to answer I completely respect that! But I am wondering if you were abused in your life? Or did your parents or caretakers treat you in very unloving, unkind and mean ways?

I wonder and ask this because often times, people who have been severely hurt in their lives, feel some amount of comfort when others too are hurt. So I am wondering if maybe in a way it gives you comfort and a level of happiness to not feel so alone in your pain?

I could be totally wrong of course... just wondering. And again, if that is too invasive, please forgive me for asking!

I relate. I have found as I got older I have a wicked mean streak. I don't know how to describe it to people. I wouldn't go out of my way to hurt someone, but I just have a more "tough" reaction to everything. A hunger to get out. It seems to me like it is a bit of a contrarian reaction. It isn't that I am mean, it is just that everyone else's reaction causes me to want to go the other way.

I am on my condo board and at the last annual meeting a resident actually yelled out that I was mean. But I didn't see it that way. NOT enforcing the rules is mean to those who comply without having to be told.

I like to watch shows like "Dexter" (even though I think Dexter is kind of like a super hero). Or Dietland where someone goes off the rails and hurts people who "deserve it" also, Sweet / Vicious.

I have thought it about it and if I was in a kill or be killed situation I know I would kill. I actually took a firearm course and was going to get a gun but decided against it out of fear I would shoot myself.

When someone who deserves it has their life destroyed (say by being convicted of a crime) I smile.

When a bad person dies a bad death (from say cancer -- I do enjoy knowing how they suffered). While everyone else seems horrified.

I have said many times when my former abusive boss dies I will spit on his grave and everyone recoils in horror like I have said the worst thing ever. But I have no apologizes.

I do believe some people deserve to die.

I like to say *truth* bombs all over the place - but most people think that *truth* these days is being mean. I don't see it that way.

I don't feel I have suffered abuse and maybe I have always been this way a little. When the Challenger disaster happened my first reaction was to just burst into hysterical laughter. It just was so ironic that after all the hype it spectacularly blew up on tv in front of the nation. Though of course I do feel bad and wish it had not happened... the overwhelming irony of the situation won out in my emotions.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by Have Hope

May I ask you something? And if you don't want to answer I completely respect that! But I am wondering if you were abused in your life? Or did your parents or caretakers treat you in very unloving, unkind and mean ways?

I wonder and ask this because often times, people who have been severely hurt in their lives, feel some amount of comfort when others too are hurt. So I am wondering if maybe in a way it gives you comfort and a level of happiness to not feel so alone in your pain?

I could be totally wrong of course... just wondering. And again, if that is too invasive, please forgive me for asking!

I had a very unkind mother and stepfather. I also had some sexual trauma.

[Rive1976]

Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton

I relate. I have found as I got older I have a wicked mean streak. I don't know how to describe it to people. I wouldn't go out of my way to hurt someone, but I just have a more "tough" reaction to everything. A hunger to get out. It seems to me like it is a bit of a contrarian reaction. It isn't that I am mean, it is just that everyone else's reaction causes me to want to go the other way.

I am on my condo board and at the last annual meeting a resident actually yelled out that I was mean. But I didn't see it that way. NOT enforcing the rules is mean to those who comply without having to be told.

I like to watch shows like "Dexter" (even though I think Dexter is kind of like a super hero). Or Dietland where someone goes off the rails and hurts people who "deserve it" also, Sweet / Vicious.

I have thought it about it and if I was in a kill or be killed situation I know I would kill. I actually took a firearm course and was going to get a gun but decided against it out of fear I would shoot myself.

When someone who deserves it has their life destroyed (say by being convicted of a crime) I smile.

When a bad person dies a bad death (from say cancer -- I do enjoy knowing how they suffered). While everyone else seems horrified.

I have said many times when my former abusive boss dies I will spit on his grave and everyone recoils in horror like I have said the worst thing ever. But I have no apologizes.

I do believe some people deserve to die.

I like to say *truth* bombs all over the place - but most people think that *truth* these days is being mean. I don't see it that way.

I don't feel I have suffered abuse and maybe I have always been this way a little. When the Challenger disaster happened my first reaction was to just burst into hysterical laughter. It just was so ironic that after all the hype it spectacularly blew up on tv in front of the nation. Though of course I do feel bad and wish it had not happened... the overwhelming irony of the situation won out in my emotions.

Yeah with me its like when my mom was telling a horrible story I had to stiffle my smile. It was really bad and these people didnt deserve it. Then someone mentioned and dismembered body and the same thing. It makes me happy in a way that other things dont but it also makes me feel horrible. I was a sensitive child and would never have felt that way then. I noticed when I was a young adult.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((( hugs )))))))))