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#1
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I haven't had the motivation or drive to socialize or make new friends for a long time. Usually it's the other party that initiates the conversation. And I'll just say a few words, conversation ends, that's it. I wonder if this is part of my personality, the lack of desire to socialize with people. At times I force myself to go into the chatrooms but I don't know where to begin with.
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![]() Anonymous44076, Anonymous49426, Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky
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![]() Apollite, Blknblu, Fuzzybear, Medusax, MickeyCheeky
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#2
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I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, stayingafloat!
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![]() Fuzzybear
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![]() Blknblu, Fuzzybear, Iloivar, stayingafloat
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#3
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I’m sorry you’re struggling with this stayingafloat. I second what MickeyCheeky said. He said it better than I could, I’m also available if you ever want to private message me. Please do let us know how it goes, I’m sending many hugs
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__________________
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![]() MickeyCheeky
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![]() Blknblu, MickeyCheeky, stayingafloat
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#4
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I was like that when I was living in an environment that caused depression & anxiety. I had no idea that wasn't me until I escaped that environment when the "me" that had been hiding inside if me for 54 years was finally free to come out.
We don't know if that personality is us or our environment. I look back & sensed that I wanted more....but even now I limit my socializing because I get exhausted....though I enjoy chatting with people when I go to a store. I moved from Los angeles to a little town of 8000. I feel more comfortable in small groups,towns, etc. Just feels more manageable & comfortable & that helped me very much. Saying all this.....however it still could just be the way you are.....& that needs to be ok if it is.
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![]() Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
![]() MickeyCheeky
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![]() Blknblu, MickeyCheeky, stayingafloat
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#5
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I've been like that sometimes. Like Eskielove says, sometimes I don't have enough spare energy - or the motivation - for social situations, and sometimes that has been down to the social situations on offer not being satisfying for me.
I agree with MickeyCheeky to ask yourself honestly what you want. I've been in a painful state when I desperately wanted social contact and was miserable but had to force myself to get out of my front door just like you describe. I've also had times when I was drained by challenges in my life and desperately wanted some solitude. There was a time in my life when because of counselling I forced myself to socialize and thought, "whoah, this is exciting and possible" but later felt disappointed by all of those new social contacts that I had made. In particular I was experimenting socialising with the opposite gender and I wasn't solid enough in myself to feel happy with the result. Everyone is different. As I get older I realise more and more that humans don't come in standard packages, no matter how much it seems like that on the media and looking in on social groups from the outside. Even some therapy/ counselling techniques seem to put over the message that we should be a standard package, regardless of our life experience. What is true for me may be false for you. I would just counsel you to be a little patient and to deliberately celebrate any social experiences that give you pleasure in your daily life. Have a gentle talk inside yourself about this, and listen. That's me, I have a great need for gentleness/ listening in my inner life. If I can listen internally with patience... eek, that's a big step... I can find my own solutions.
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*"Fierce <-> Reality"* oh god I am struggling today, help me to remember how to stay connected and human! remember: the nut shell against human predators and my own fear! |
![]() Blknblu, stayingafloat
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#6
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I am like that naturally. The less people you have in your life the less trouble you have. There re not a lot of people who are into the same things I am anyway, so there that is....
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I go about my own business, and keep my mind on myself and my life. I expect the same courtesy from the rest of the world. ![]() |
![]() Blknblu, stayingafloat
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