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Old Dec 16, 2007, 07:58 PM
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curley curley is offline
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How many times in your life have you asked a friend, or anyone to do something for you, they have said yes and not come through. How many times have you asked a friend or anyone to do something with you, go to a party, etc. But when you call to finalize plans all you get is their voicemail. I know that many first dates end with, I will call you, and they dont. But, these are not friends that you will see regularly!. When confronted with this situation I usually say, I will try, or I will see. Maybe not totally honest when I mean no way, but it is better then saying sure, call me, or sure, I will be there. What is up with saying yes, when you mean no!
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  #2  
Old Dec 16, 2007, 07:59 PM
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(JD) (JD) is offline
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Why say yes, when you are not sure Maybe they feel pressure from guilt or from the person to say what is expected?
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Why say yes, when you are not sure
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Old Dec 16, 2007, 08:01 PM
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curley curley is offline
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Yeah, I have thought of that, but the question is still why cant they just say how they feel. Must we lie so we dont have to come forward with how we feel or the truth!!!
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People are like stained glass windows They sparkle and shine in the sun but when
darkness hits their true beauty is
revealed only when there is light within . Elizabeth Krubel-Ros
  #4  
Old Dec 16, 2007, 08:08 PM
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_Hope_ _Hope_ is offline
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I agree curley, I try real hard to say what I mean, I expect others to do the same

Linda
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Why say yes, when you are not sure
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Old Dec 16, 2007, 09:27 PM
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Perna Perna is offline
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People can forget, change their mind, etc. or, what I do, wait for further information from the person who invited me. I don't count on things happening, even when I set them up, until the plans have firmed up and everyone has "seriously" agreed. Just saying "You want to go to the Concert this Saturday night?" and having them say, "Yeah, sure!" that's not plans yet for me. If someone invites me and then doesn't say anything further, doesn't get in touch with me and firm things up, I figure they've changed their minds or decided to do something else or invite someone else or whatever.
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Old Dec 16, 2007, 09:52 PM
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ECHOES ECHOES is offline
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I agree.

Say yes when you mean yes and are wiling to make the commitment that comes with saying yes. That doesn't mean there is any guarantee against something unforseen happening.

And just as important, say no when you mean no.

When someone tells me I'll try that means to me the opposite. It means I'm really not all that interested and I won't make a commitment to you about this.

I think people say yes because we don't know how to say No. We think we are responsible for the other person's feelings that could arise from our saying No. So we say yes and sometimes even forget we say yes because we were never committed to it in the first place.
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