No Diagnosis / Confused Diagnosis Check-in

Here's a new check-in thread! Perhaps you have never received a mental health diagnosis. Or perhaps there have been several that have been casually "tossed out" to you off-handedly over time & you don't what to believe. If so... this is your check-in thread!

I don't know if this will be useful or not. But I thought it might be worth a try. In the 20 years or so I was actively involved with the mental health services system where I live, & through 2 involuntary hospitalizations, I never was offered anything in the way of a diagnosis.

A G.P. I saw early on suggested perhaps OCD? In an MMPI report I was able to get a copy of (after much rangling) it said I exhibited "schizoid ideation"… whatever that is. The psychiatrist who treated me during my second hospitalization suggested there might be a "bipolar element" to what was going on with me. But who knows? (I suppose there must be something written down somewhere for insurance purposes.)

I do know, from reading many posts here on PC, there are others here with similar stories. So if you've never received a diagnosis, or you're confused & just don't know what to believe, this is your place to check in with others who are in the same boat. Thanks for checking in!

I was initially dx'ed as having depression and anxiety. That was in my early 20's. By my early 30's I was diagnosed with "manic depression" as it was called back then. About a year later, dissociative disorder was added in.

The BP and disso. were a fit from the beginning. Those diagnoses have stuck.

Skeezyks,
I am sorry you were hospitalized twice. No one wants to go unless they are really suffering or caused themselves harm. It's like, since it happened, something must be wrong but we still don't want to believe it and it's just not an exact science (if only our problems were that easy). I wish they could just do a brain scan and know for sure. For a while, it drove me crazy to feel so unsure of what was wrong. Was it my choices? My environment? My genes? Or a pinch of this and a pinch of that? I don't worry about my diagnosis much anymore but when I couldn't sleep because of guilt and anxiety, I got up and grabbed the pills my psychitrist gave me.

Were you never given a diagnosis because of not having health insurance? I know if you have insurance--they have to put something in order for the claim to be paid. In the US, you have a right to get copies of your records. There likely are diagnosis--they probably just didn't tell you what they were!!

Many, many of us who come to PC do suffer sometimes, including you. I hope you aren't suffering and do appreciate you. You are a sweetheart through and through from my POV.

You're a sweetheart, Skeezyks! Thank you SO MUCH for making this thread! I hope you're feeling a bit better these days. Please be REALLY kind to yourself, my dear friend! Remember that we're here for you and that you can PM me ANYTIME! I am SURE plenty of others will also gladly listen to what you have to say and support you! Please NEVER give up hope! YOU'RE THE BEST AND YOU KNOW IT! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, Skeezyks, your family, your friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking!

Actually I think the reason I never got an actual diagnosis is simply because, by the time I entered the mental health system where I live, I was already 50 years old. And I think there's something of an assumption that, by that time, it really just doesn't matter. (I'm kind-of inclined to agree.) Also, however, I never went into any serious detail with anyone regarding everything that has gone on with me in my life. So, as the title of the song (by The Weepies) says: "Nobody Knows Me at All".

Yes I have always had good insurance. And I'm sure there is something written down somewhere for insurance purposes… probably "depression". But it's not based on anything. It's simply what the mental health professionals I've seen wrote down so they you get paid. And actually, while it would be nice to actually talk to someone about everything that went on with me in my life (something it's unlikely I would ever do anyway) the reality is it's much too late for it to make any real difference except that, if I did have a genuine diagnosis, I'd know where to post here on PC.

Skeezyks

I know I am a terrible listener sometimes and am not qualified to tell you what is wrong but some of what you said does sound like a type of depression among other things (Though, of course--I don't know for sure). It does matter!!

My first therapist said that she just put depression and anxiety on claims because these are some of the least harmful diagnosis. Some diagnosis carry more of a stigma so she didn't want to use other diagnosis as much unless she felt very sure about what was going on. She didn't want to talk about diagnosis much. I would think to myself that either she couldn't figure me out of she wasn't telling me for my own protection!

I do think that when I am not letting my emotions carry me away (for a while my anxiety made me wonder if I had every mental condition in the DSM. ). I do have some sense now of what went wrong. I wish I had realized before becoming a mother or at least when my kids were younger. When we are self reflective, we are a little bit more able and skilled at not inadvertably (Is that a word?) harming others because of our issues.

So I wished I had gotten help for my issues when I was younger, but it is never too late! Even if we are destined to be mostly solitary--we are both married and don't our partners deserve for us to keep improving? Not that you aren't improving.

I have learned a lot from PC and feel a part of this community because I do have significant mental health issues that have effected my life and my family's life. It is not something you want to post on FB about or brag about at work and to neighbors but people here, like you , understand.

Thanks for being one of the people that understands and cares.