[itsjustme111]

My t spoke to my doctor. He wants me to come in on Saturday. He is arranging hospitalization. BBBUUUTTT; my ex called about an hour ago; he wants me to keep my kids until the 22nd. I was unsure of this as I know I need to start taking care of my illnesses. But I said yes. I do want them here. So I will talk to my doctor to see when he would like to do this. Maybe if its late week that I can get in, I will talk to my ex about bringing them a couple of days sooner. Like my t said; I am not dealing with my issues and always putting myself last. She feels it is urgent to get help soon. But she will monitor with me of how things go. So I will know more on the weekend or possibly sooner. She said my doc is calling me tonight or in the am.
itsjustme

[itsjustme111]

Am I being selfish? I am scared to leave this too long; I am struggling so much already. I can say that my mood has come up somewhat. The visits to the animal shelter; and seeing my kids so happy and excited; sure has helped. I got better sleep last night so of course that was helpful. I would really appreciate some adivce. Can anyone help with this one? My question is; am I being selfish by going into hospital? Would it be wrong to ask my ex to take the kids by next Friday? I dont want them to go but I need help. My thoughts race and I dont think clearly most of the time. I am scared. I had also cut more a couple of nights ago. Maybe I can wait. I dont know. I can phone them anytime but is it enough???? Not sure what to do here. And I know it can be hard to get into the hospital when its full; so take the chance when its offered???
itsjustme

[Rapunzel]

You are not selfish to go into the hospital and get the treatment that you need. If you keep putting everybody else first, you aren't going to have anything left to give to them, and that won't do anybody any good. You have a right to be able to be happy - and it isn't selfish.

I'm glad that visiting the puppy is helping you. Will they hold him for you until after you get out of the hospital? Or would your bf take care of the puppy for you? Animals really can help you to get over depression. There is nothing like the unconditional love that they give, and how it penetrates when nothing else is able to get through to you.

<font color=orange>"If a light beckons to you, follow it. If it leads you into the quagmire, you'll probably find your way out of it again; but if you don't follow it, you'll be plagued for the rest of your life by the thought that perhaps it was your star." Friedrich Hebbet</font color=orange>

[itsjustme111]

(((Rapunzel)))); I want you to know how much this meant to me. I am trying to focus more on myself but worry about my kids. You are right and I know that; I am having such a hard time with decisions. Its funny cause after I posted this last one; boyfriend came home to talk about the doggie. We really want him, we both love animals. We will give him a good life. He wants to adopt him tomorrow, it will take a few days before we get him. He will be home a lot; he is self employed so can be home more. When I was hospitalized here before; I am able to go on short passes; provided I am safe. So I could come home to take him for walks. I wish you all could see him. I love him already and he likes me too. It broke my heart when he got scared and put his head on me. He (Klondike) has so much love to give and so do we. Thank you for your imput; it really helped. ((hugs for u)).
Love;
itsjustme

[Leslie]

((((((((((((((((((((((((just))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

You need to go in as soon as they can take you. Please ask ex husband to take children alittle sooner. You need this help.

I care about you
Your friend Leslie

[(JD)]

Just, I would also go in hospital as soon as it's available. You might give the reason for the spouse to pick children up early is because you are going into the hospital for tests. You do not have to share any more than that, and, once in, make sure his name is not on the list so they will not even acknowledge that you are in that hospital! Or, that you are trying out a new medication that they need to observe you for.

Or no reason at all. TIme to take care of yourself. It will just be a blip in the scheme of things, though I'm sure it looks much larger to you since you are so close to it.

[alm15]

The most loving thing we can do for those around us is to take care of ourselves. I once tried to stay out of the hospital for my daughter. Looking back, she would have been much better off if I had gone in when I first realized I should. She went through a lot of hell she didn't have to. I also got out before I was really ready. But again, I thought she needed me, which she did, but she needed a sane whole me, not the symptomatic me. Just some thoughts. The best of luck to you! Annie

[gloria]

I second Rapunzel. You won't have much left to give if you keep on putting yourself last.
You wouldn't be doing this just for you, anyway, you'd be doing it for you and everybody you love, so that you can be at your best for them and yourself.

gab

[itsjustme111]

Thanks everyone. I agree with all of you. I know in my heart that if I wait things could get worse. At least now I have some sense in me. lol. ((Leslie)); thank you for saying you care about me. I care very much for you too. And I care for everyone in here. You have all helped a great deal. I think of all of you everyday; wondering how your day went. I will get the hospital to put a "flag" on my name so nobody can find out that I am their. I will let you all know what the scoop is when I get a call. Still waiting. But I am taking my kids out today; going to the water park. Keep us busy; not focus on the negative things. Oh, we are going to adopt Klondike; my boyfriend has a lot of time for him so it will work. We all fell in love with the little guy. Well hes not that little. Very loving doggie though; he needs a good home and we can give him that.
itsjustme

[Rapunzel]

You sound much better today. Sounds like you have made some good decisions and things will keep getting better from here. I'm sure it won't be all smooth sailing, as it never is, but I do have confidence in you that you will be able to handle it, and soon you'll be riding the waves like a pro.

Thanks for the update, and please let us know how you are doing often.

Rap

<font color=orange>"If a light beckons to you, follow it. If it leads you into the quagmire, you'll probably find your way out of it again; but if you don't follow it, you'll be plagued for the rest of your life by the thought that perhaps it was your star." Friedrich Hebbet</font color=orange>