[pachyderm]

Healing the Whole Family - The New York Times

I didn’t know there were illnesses called depression and anxiety, and the adults around me never suspected, because I looked like I was on top of my life. When I would burst into tears, my father would shout at me to stop crying because, “No one is dead — save your tears for when I die.” And when I told my mom of my suicidal thoughts her first response was, “How can you be so selfish?” I felt unworthy of their love until I was perfect beyond reproach.

I attended Yale as a first-generation student supported through financial aid, worked at McKinsey in New York and London, and received two master’s degrees from Stanford. My fears of not being good enough for college seem unfounded now, but perhaps understandable given my upbringing.

Contrary to the stereotype of Asian Ivy League students, I did not have wealthy tiger nor snowplow parents. My extended family in Taiwan barely received an education, so in high school I was already among the most educated in my family.

What I did have are parents who, like many others, came into parenthood with their own wounds — and no knowledge of how to deal with them.

[Open Eyes]

Thanks pachyderm, that was a very good article. What children observe in their parent's behaviors definitely has a very deep affect on them. Children and teens don't know what depression and anxiety mean but they can experience it by observing it in their own parents. Human beings are very prone to absorbing and imprinting. Actually, I was reading another article that touched on that and how that tends to make many susceptable to following a cult. There are so many examples of that throughout our human history.

[Fuzzybear]