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Chocopiano27
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Default Oct 05, 2020 at 08:41 AM
  #1
There are lots of things that I must do for now (for myself and my family), but I've noticed that I'm really afraid of being out of any social group. I can't seem to divide any more energy for it. There's always this negative thoughts whenever I look at my peers (especially on social media) they seem like they have lots friends and people other than their family that they could count on, and I feel like I have no one by my side, that makes me feel anxious because I'm scared that whaf if one day I'll be alone (again), one day I'll be powerless (again). Even until this day I still believe that having no friends that can back me up means tragedy.

But at the same time, I don't have the urge to actually look for my friends. Hanging out with them makes me feel anxious about the things that I should've been able to do, and meeting 'some' of them really really drains my energy. I always feel rushed. Is it normal? And sometimes, as if whenever I want to maintain them I have to fake myself and pretend that I miss them, when truthfully, I don't.

It's really hard to make myself feel like I need someone, but I'm too scared to deal with the unknown world as a lone wolf (well.. it didn't work quite well based on my school year experience).

Have you ever felt the same? Do you have any thoughts on my matter? How do you usually deal with your contradicting thoughts + actions?
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Yaowen
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Default Oct 05, 2020 at 01:02 PM
  #2
Dear Chocopiano27,

I have often felt similar to what you describe. The human brain is so mysterious. I don't know why it generates the thoughts and feelings that it does. What helps me most is to love my brain whatever it is doing. I literally talk silently to my little brain and try to embrace it with love no matter what it is thinking or feeling. Here in an example:

"I love you little brain even though you are feeling anxious. I love you little brain even though you are now feeling worried about being so anxious. I love you little brain even though you are now feeling bad about being anxious. I love you little brain even though now you are feeling angry at yourself for being worried so much. I love you little brain even though now you are feeling angry that you are angry. I love you little brain now that you are wondering if you are normal. I love you little brain even though you are scared of social situations. I love you little brain now that you are feeling embarrassed by being afraid. I love you little brain even though are you conflicted and having contradictory thoughts. I love you little brain even though you are feeling hopeless about the future."

This is how to talk to my brain. I don't try to push thoughts or feelings away. I try to let my brain generate its thoughts and feelings. And I try to embrace each one with love like one might show love to a little child that was upset. I try to love my brain no matter what with unconditional love. This generally helps me feel stronger and better.

Since I am not a physician or medical professional I cannot recommend this however. I am thoroughly unqualified to give advice that you or anyone could or should rely upon. It is best to see a professional therapist when one is stuck in distressing situations. I am only sharing what helps me personally in full knowledge that what helps one person might hurt another or not work.

I hope you find something that helps you. The technique that I share with you was taught to me by a psychotherapist but like I said I am not a psychotherapist and therefore cannot offer any advice.

I wish you only the best.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
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Prycejosh1987
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Default Nov 30, 2020 at 12:55 PM
  #3
You have to believe in yourself, and be self motivated. People around you will not always be on hand to help you when dealing with problems. You must sort out problems yourself, and you can at least use the support. Emotionally, you need to be independent. This goes for you, me, and everyone on planet earth.
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