[black-roses]

So I havent talked to like Ben for over a week 8 days exactly. I've been thinking of getting new hobbies for myself but I find getting to the world and with other people very daunting. I feel like theres a huge mental block there and even though I can suggest fun things for others to do I can't for the life of me, think of anything to do for myself. I just feel scared and out of my depths when it comes to being with others in society. I don't want to cling onto one person like a scared rat in the rain which is why I think I've tolerated Ben's lack of trustworthiness for this long. It's just I don't understand really like he wasn't like that in the first 2-or three years but now he is like telling his mum things about me. I just can't make sense of it to be honest. With everything that's happened with my friendships in the past I feel like I won't be as tolerant, if my future friends show a sign of untrustworthiness. To be honest that's how it's always has been I should have been firmer with my boundaries but never the less I'm taking the lessons with me. I just hope that my future friendships don't leave me feeling as uncertain and unsure of myself as this failure of a friendship did. My sister said I shouldn't cut him out but I don't feel any confidence in being able to repair it, because it almost seems like he doesn't even understand why I was upset. It shouldnt be something that I'm still thinking about but it's what I've been thinking about a lot. Apart for today I had nice food at a pub and then went fishing with my family and neice. I just feel broken hearted, I never thought I could feel this over a friendship.

[RoxanneToto]

Ben isn’t trustworthy and doesn’t take responsibility for his own actions (including not believing he did anything wrong), so unless you would have been happy with a super casual relationship, no contact is best, for now at least. It will hurt, but the hurt gets less as time goes on, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now
As for new hobbies, is there anything you want to try or did in the past that you enjoyed? I’m considering taking up archery again and have recently got back into painting.

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry for what is going on! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i think i agree with the wise and wonderful RoxanneToto about doing something that you enjoyed doing in the past. It seems like you're still Grieving the Loss of this friendship so take your time i believe. i also believe it is useful to analyze yourself and understand why you attract people of this kind. Perhaps use this occasion to work on yourself and do something nice as well if possible. i Hope things will improve really soon and that you want to improve also. Please do update us if possible if that's something you deside. Love. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @black-roses, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[downandlonely]

I'm sorry that the friendship isn't working out.

I sometimes find stuff to do on meetup.com. It used to be for meeting in person, but since the pandemic, a lot of the meetings are online and you can interact with people from all over the world. You might want to check it out.

[black-roses]

Originally Posted by RoxanneToto

Ben isn’t trustworthy and doesn’t take responsibility for his own actions (including not believing he did anything wrong), so unless you would have been happy with a super casual relationship, no contact is best, for now at least. It will hurt, but the hurt gets less as time goes on, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now
As for new hobbies, is there anything you want to try or did in the past that you enjoyed? I’m considering taking up archery again and have recently got back into painting.

Actually archery sounds nice I wouldn't mind doing that. Lately I've been doing diamond art, I miss drawing. I still do poetry time to time, I'd like to publish my poetry one day. I also did bushrangers in hit school we'd plant things in parks etc. I also do weeding in my parents garden. I'd really love to beautify my mum's garden with flowers, it's such a huge garden and could use some more pretty flowers. I think I'll have to get the weeds out first though. I also want to try horse riding that's something I've always wanted to do as well.

[black-roses]

Also I was in English class today and there was a class discussion about like relationships and how cultures don't accept other cultures. We were talking about how hard it is for a parent when a son finds a partner. I started to talk about my friendship with Ben and how he tells his mum things. On of the classmates commented that he probably had feelings for me and wanted to make it official that made me think about things differently. Now we're on break and I decided to talk to Ben after 9 days of no contact. I said "Hey Ben I'm just at Tafe I took sometime to think about our friendship and how I felt about you telling your mum things. I felt like I needed to think about what I wanted in life. I feel like we could continue on as a casual friendship. Though I'm probably not up to hang out a lot yet as I'm still quite busy and overwhelmed with things". Now that I understand why he did it I don't feel so unsure and confused as to what to do. I feel like maybe we could still be friends but more casual then before.