Pain Is A Gift??

I am a huge fan of Shinedown and I know the singer has a tattoo on the back of his hand that says "PAIN IS A GIFT".

Is it?

I think the point he's trying to make is that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but is that a gift? What do people with ordinary lives, i.e. not mentally ill, abused, molested, etc. do when they go through painful times? I think for them it's a gift because for them, it's only temporary, but for folks like me? Uh-uh.

If I get any stronger I'll be so stiff I won't be able to move. I don't know what it's like to not always be in pain 24/7/365. It's simply my reality and I do not consider it to be a gift at all.

I can see just temporary pain as a gift - from pain can come great personal growth, so I can see how that may be viewed as a gift. Constant and persistent pain though? I agree - how can that be a gift?

I have always disliked that "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. That is NOT true.....that is why we have so many people seeking therapy.

Hey @Marie123. I have another perspective on this to consider. I have been through hell and back in my life, with a LOT of adversity and challenge to overcome. I went through hell for years upon years, which almost broke me many times over. Here and there, I would receive a massive blessing through all my challenging times, which would give me hope and some relief. And with each challenge and obstacle, I fought through it all, but with help/support.

I am the strongest person I have ever been at this stage in my life and after all I've gone through. My mother reminded me the other day of a breakdown I had 30 years ago when I was in college. Today, if I faced those same circumstances, I would be able to handle it FAR better than I did back then.

So all the adversity in my life has in fact made me a much stronger and more resilient person. Though, I did get help.

It does seem rather glib to say "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger". I don't like this statement either.

What I DO like is when people say the universe or God never gives us more than what we can handle. I believe this to be true.

Well, i wouldn't call it a gift perhaps but it certainly can provide helpful in the long run by allowing us to deal with specific situations so that we can effectively deal with similar things in other circumstances. Whether or not that is worth the pain is up to each individual in my opinion. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Werewoman, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

I'm with you. I know I am a very strong person, not from pain but from simple survival.

Sorry, but I beg to differ. The universe has chewed me up and spit me back out repeatedly for nigh on 60 years. I have had times when I could not handle the terror of the situation I found myself in. I also cannot handle bipolar mixed episodes. Now I know what the word "madness" really means. I just want to run and keep running until I have run out of my own skin. It feels like I'm losing my sanity.

I also respectfully disagree with the concept of people never being given more than they can handle - I’m not a believer in gods myself, and while I do respect other people’s right to believe, even if gods do exist this saying just doesn’t hold water. Many, if not all of us, have heard of other people who truly couldn’t handle something that happened in their life, leading to insanity and worse.
On topic, I agree with the general consensus that temporary pain that leads to personal growth can be considered a gift, but constant pain is more of a curse.

I've been chewed up and spit out too, too many times and throughout my entire life and I am 50. But I believe in pursuing a happy or at least a peaceful life, somehow and no matter what challenges one faces. I'm sorry you continue to be in pain. We're each responsible for our own happiness and well being. I do not know your history or what you've deal with. I will exit now.

My life is peaceful now, as long as I'm not having episodes. I've been in treatment for 20 years but my MI gets worse as I get older. Right now it's under control. Hopefully it stays that way, but I never know.

I won't go into all the reasons why I am in constant pain. Just know that it's not a choice.

If it was true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, psychologists would advocate child abuse. In fact, they have found that corporal punishment lowers IQ and causes all sorts of other problems.

Gosh only a satan would give anyone pain as a gift. "Happy birthday dear, I got you a lovely presen! A nice bouquette of excruciating pain and great agony! No don't thank me you deserve it! " 🤣🤣🤣

i will be 60 in 8 days and i never thought i would have good days which i never realized i had in the past. i didnt recognise there were good days but after my last episode i can see how the workers in the psych ward were not always my enemies like i used to think, but they were just doing their best as they didn't know how to help me. i was put on clozapine for schitzophrenia which saved my life. started to make friends and i even helped them too. i had to give myself a chance.

I have accomplished what I have despite my illness, not because of it. It has cost me years of my life that I would rather have spent differently, and will likely cause me a lot more pain in the future. It would be far easier to live up to my full potential and reach my goals without this illness. So I don't see it as a gift at all. Constant agony without purpose does not build people up, it destroys them.

I'm not a fan of platitudes about God never giving us more than we can handle, and so forth. That's clearly false, otherwise why does mental illness cause so many suicides? These kinds of sayings are just a cop out to avoid having to accept the harsh reality that life is not fair. I agree that you should try to make of your life what you can, but some are unfortunate enough that they'll never succeed no matter how hard they try. The least we can do for those people is recognize the injustice of it.

I don't like 'pain is a gift.' I had some tooth pain a few weeks ago. It did not improve my life!

I don't agree that pain is a gift, but sometimes pain can be a "tool" that keeps you from repeating self-defeating patterns. I think it depends on the sources or types of "pain" one is talking about, though.

Life isn't fair, and I feel the sooner we realize that and accept it, the better off we are.

That's a pretty big generalization. That's certainly true in many instances, but not so much in others. The tone of your comment kind of comes off as , "Quit your whining." Not entirely supportive, IMO...especially coming from a community support person.

Sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I think people who say that pain is there to make us stronger may think that there is some sort of balance to all of it. I have seen bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people.

Some really horrible things happen to good people. What kind of gift or lesson or reason or message is in there? Life can be cruel and many things happen for no reason. No, pain isn’t a gift. Having said that, there is no way to handle it but move forward and do the best we can