How Much?

All I can say is, a lot. A LOT. Just coming out of a very severe episode, I'm deathly afraid to relapse. Maybe it will get easier at some point, I certainly hope so.

I think it would be meaningful if people here mentioned what their primary mental health issue is. As someone else has mentioned, the amount of energy needed to stay stable probably depends greatly on the issue you're dealing with.

In my case, my primary issue is bipolar disorder. Without meaning to be dismissive of other issues, I think chronic illnesses like that do require more energy to deal with than situational issues, like a one-off depression that's just completely "gone" at some point. Those will require a lot of energy to get over, but at some point you're "cured" and you can sort of relax. In the case of bipolar, it's never really gone and you always have to remain vigilant, you're always at risk of going into an episode, so you always have to take care to try and minimize the risk.

Beth, Sorry your mental health issues have been such a challenge and that you aren't feeling well either physically or mentally (this is I have gathered from your posts lately). I know that for some people, their MH issues effect them so much mentally and physically that it interferes with the quality of their life. I went through a period of time where wondering what was wrong with me was taking up too much time in my head. It is miserable to always be thinking about what is wrong and how I was feeling. Was that compulsive OCD thoughts? Bad habits? Just wondering if I was mentally ill was sort of making me feel insane. I didn't go to a psychiatrist until my late 40s so some of the issues my meds are treating (I remember having sleep issues even as a child and remember having the periodic feeling of depression beginning is high school) I just thought of as my biological makeup and I worked around them because when we are younger, IMO, we more energy to function adequately on and people didn't get diagnosed as much back then. So if I couldn't sleep on a school night, I would just read and listen to music much of the night but didn't worry about it. I was tired the next day but when my mom got me up I still went to school, got good enough grades, etc. And in college, I would get myself up and go to class whether I slept well or not but I would feel almost sick sometimes because of the lack of sleep but I do credit my mom with instilling the habit of getting up and doing what needs to be done every day--no matter how I felt. However, at this point in my life, the lack of sleep effects me even more than it used to so I am grateful to have medications that are helping me have more consistent sleep. But I agree with
WovenGalaxy's thought about we all have a biological makeup, though I know for some navigating their mental health issues is a full time job. Hugs to Downandlonely, Whatever, Miguels Mom, FluffyDinosour and Kidfle.

Hugs to Skeezyks. In my case, I find myself hoping that I don't develop dementia. I have read that the lack of sleep and some of the meds I take to help me sleep increase the chances that we could develop dementia issues. I still love reading and studying things and hope I can always do this. One good thing about reading and learning new things is that they are protective against developing dementia.

Hugs to MickeyCheeky. I can totally relate to the weather effecting my moods. And you and Eskielover are right about how much our relationships effect us too! I have always lived in places with lots of sunshine but when I visited family in NW USA in the winter and it was cold, damp and raining the entire time, I noticed how much better I would feel when we returned to a Southern state. I have always found that sunshine lifts my mood and like getting outside everyday.

I only began to have MH issues (that became prevalent) in my late 30’s. They were triggered by relationship issues, not all me the dysfunctional one, it takes two. I spend all of my time trying to control my MH now, but am still constantly triggered by the same person doing the same thing. So, while I obsess over my reaction, I do not leave or make better the triggering situation.

I never had a psy/t to really figure it out and set any plan in motion to help me, much as I have tried over many years. I feel I was always let down by the MH system. I have really just gone this alone and with supportive here.

Not stable but I struggle hard with my mood in terms of church and work . Both of those arenas there’s an expectation of positivity and good cheer and sometimes I can’t do it.

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Originally Posted by WovenGalaxy I can imagine that would feel discouraging and frustrating. There have been period of my life where I've been deeply depressed. The kind that doesn't go away. And its like experiencing everything through a negative filter - from what I felt to what I thought. Currently I teeter between ok and...not. My therapist said not to compare my depressed self to the person I am when I'm well, or, to anybody else. Maybe hearing that will help you too BethRags. In DBT we also learn about radical acceptance. Something I need to brush up on.

Thanks, WG "Experiencing everything through a negative filter" is an excellent description.

I will read about radical acceptance.

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Originally Posted by FluffyDinosaur All I can say is, a lot. A LOT. Just coming out of a very severe episode, I'm deathly afraid to relapse. Maybe it will get easier at some point, I certainly hope so. You've pointed something out that I fear, too- but didn't even realize it. Fear of relapsing. I hope that gets easier for both of us. I think it would be meaningful if people here mentioned what their primary mental health issue is. As someone else has mentioned, the amount of energy needed to stay stable probably depends greatly on the issue you're dealing with. In this thread, I'm noticing that primary mental health issue has almost everything to do with how much energy we expend to maintain stability. I wish I would have asked about diagnosis in my original post. In my case, my primary issue is bipolar disorder. Without meaning to be dismissive of other issues, I think chronic illnesses like that do require more energy to deal with than situational issues, like a one-off depression that's just completely "gone" at some point. Those will require a lot of energy to get over, but at some point you're "cured" and you can sort of relax. In the case of bipolar, it's never really gone and you always have to remain vigilant, you're always at risk of going into an episode, so you always have to take care to try and minimize the risk. Absolutely true.

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Originally Posted by TunedOut

Thank you for your warm and insightful post.

I, too, am affected by the weather, or more specifically, the way the light looks. Weather and time of day.

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Originally Posted by TishaBuv I only began to have MH issues (that became prevalent) in my late 30’s. They were triggered by relationship issues, not all me the dysfunctional one, it takes two. I spend all of my time trying to control my MH now, but am still constantly triggered by the same person doing the same thing. So, while I obsess over my reaction, I do not leave or make better the triggering situation. I never had a psy/t to really figure it out and set any plan in motion to help me, much as I have tried over many years. I feel I was always let down by the MH system. I have really just gone this alone and with supportive here.

I'm so sorry that you feel let down by the mh system. What are some reasons?

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Originally Posted by leomama Not stable but I struggle hard with my mood in terms of church and work . Both of those arenas there’s an expectation of positivity and good cheer and sometimes I can’t do it. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

It's hard when we have those expectations placed upon us. In that situation I feel like I have to "fake it"

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Originally Posted by Kidfle Depends on where I am. The better I feel the more willing and have the energy to work at it. But lately just feel too tired to give it an ounce of effort. Even mentioned to T that perhaps going into the hospital to get over this hump would be helpful. Haven't ever been hospitalized for psych issues. Did do an outpatient session once. T said hospitals are now to stabilize a severe episode. In and out. Probably wouldn't even keep me. Just too tired to do it anymore. Takes too much energy.

In my experience, your T is correct. IP ain't what it used to be. It's basically a holding cell and maybe a place to expedite med changes.

I feel as you do...the better I feel, the easier it is to work on feeling better.

I don’t know. When things get bad I just turn to meds. I don’t have the energy to deal with feeling things. Mainly anxiety. So it’s hard to figure out just how much energy I’m spending trying to stay stable vs how much is helping or is being masked by my meds.

I want to say I’m doing better then I think I am. Especially with everything that’s going on right now.

Yeah faking it is hard and then add my bf’s mother into the mix and even my own father.

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I deleted social media from my phone. It’s too depressing. I feel as if my life has become very small and seeing other people’s lives is very depressing .

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IDK how to put it into a simple answer here without writing a dissertation!

The simplest answer is there was no consistent diagnosis, and there was no explanation about what to expect from therapy and a finite plan to achieve successful results. All meds I tried did not work to help and some hurt.

My issue is not solely me, but involves relationships with a key other person. When we saw marriage counselors, they did not hold us accountable, homework was not done, no change happened.

I was treated badly by some of the therapists; they were callous, or negligent, so I didn’t go back. I liked some but they were ineffective, incompetent about their own insurance billing, or not causing any real change. It felt like we just kept paying for sessions that went nowhere.

Also, the money was an issue. I felt that I couldn’t bear to keep spending all that money, especially feeling confused and not getting good results, so I would take long breaks seeing no therapists until things got so bad i went to another one.

We or I must have seen a dozen over twenty years. The shortest was a few times, the longest was a year (two of those).

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Originally Posted by leomama I deleted social media from my phone. It’s too depressing. I feel as if my life has become very small and seeing other people’s lives is very depressing .

I've been feeling that way lately, too. My therapist tells me not to compare, but it's very hard not to.

I get depressed by all the life people are living and I don’t want to see it.

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I don't personally struggle with this, and I never did social media anyway, but I once saw a book about this topic called "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a ****" by Mark Manson. Maybe it could be a helpful book for you guys to get a different perspective on this.

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Originally Posted by FluffyDinosaur I don't personally struggle with this, and I never did social media anyway, but I once saw a book about this topic called "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a ****" by Mark Manson. Maybe it could be a helpful book for you guys to get a different perspective on this.

Thanks, FluffyD!

It’s not that I give a ****, it’s that I’ve changed, and I no longer have anything to say.

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Right now, a lot. I have schizoaffective/bipolar and I'm an addict in early recovery. Right now I'm working on making choices that are good for my quality of life and functioning and whatnot, rather than giving into the urge that I have to be self-destructive. I'm hoping in time it won't take as much effort to choose to take my meds, stick to a healthy sleep schedule, stay away from situations where I'll be tempted to use, and so on. I'm hoping if I keep going at it, in time, it won't take as much effort to make the right choices.