Bringing up your M.I.

Is anyone else tired of thinking that there needs to be an apporpiate social amount of time before mentioning your mental illness? I'm sick to death of it. If I don't want to bring it up, I won't. But if I want to open with it when someone rudely asks, "what do you do?" I don't mind shoving it in their face even if it makes them feel uncomfortable. If they think that its inappropiate, isn't that their issue?

Yes, it is most certainly their issue. And you donßt have to bring it up imo.

I work, but have never talked about my mental illness at work. Technically they can't fire me for it, but there is still some stigma, and discrimination can be hard to prove. I have said I have a "chronic medical condition". That's true and with the health information privacy laws, my employers are not allowed to ask for more details.

I agree it's their problem.

Is there some reason you feel your illness has to be disclosed? It's no one's business but yours and your healthcare provider. You are not obligated to tell anyone, including your employers. There's nothing wrong with establishing healthy boundaries to protect yourself and they'll go looking for easier victims.

That is really the heart of my issue, the M.I. isn't something I should have to put a wall around. I have a very hard time acting symptom free and am tired to the point of endurance of trying to hide and excuses it. Its the color of my hair, its my hight, its color of my eyes. Its a part of me that I was bornwith that I can only attempt to maintain, not changge. I am getting very tired of treating it as if it weren't a topic for polite society.

I'm not trying to press anyone into the "open", but I'm tired of "setting bounderies" or basically gate keeping this information about myself. I'm not embaresed of it (well, sometimes I do embarassing things) but I'm just all out of motivation about what in essence feels like hiding it.

I promise I'm not trying to pick a fight or rile anything up. I just want to stop worry about being found out.

Chill. It's cool here.

Can I ask why you are so worried about being found out? I know, of course there is a stigma attached to MI. I've seen my share of prejudice over the last couple of decades.

I'm not able to hide my symptoms. I guess that's why you're working and I was forced to go on disability.

What do you think might happen if people found out? Do you work in an environment that's hostile towards people with M.I.? Do you feel ashamed because of your M.I.?

Are you familiar with the ADA? You can't be fired because of your disability.

I learned a long time ago that I needed those boundaries to feel safe. I'm thinking you don't and that's good. You're coping.

I don't know how anyone could hide it, but then, I never tried.

I'm also on SSDI and simply cannot contain the symptoms so that they don't manifest in public. But the whole "wait until the time is right" "make sure you're safe before telling" thing just really gets me. I mean when I first meet someone and they ask "what do you do" if I feel like it, I just want to say, "I do psych meds every day. How about you?" I mean, I'm not even supposed to be able to answer a banal question honestly. And this is all from well meaning people. From my psych team to my friends, they are all in the "wait till the time is right" camp. As if I'm going to propose. Sometimes I just want to tell people about right away so that I can sort them out, why put in a time investment in them if they are just going to be landmine anyway. It could be my paranoia, but I'm getting the distinct vibe that its a social faus pas on par with proposing on the first date to just tell people about your M.I. too soon. I mean frankly, I don't need anything from anyone who would treat me that way anyhow.
Maybe I'm just really tired of playing tip toe about it. I've been in treatment for twenty years and its just such a day to day part of my life that I'm tired of trying to come up with Clark Kent lame excuses to cover for the fact that I go missing and am just generally strange. If it freaks people, that's their issue, someone with epilepsy doesn't have to apologize after have a fit in public, why should I?
I'm not looking to shove it in anyone's face, Im just weary to exaustion of acting like I'm trying to manage not my M.I. but my M.I.'s social and professional life.

I guess I just see it differently, and I'm okay with that. I agree you should not have to tiptoe around MI as well. If someone asks me what I do, I tell them a retired teacher, though the truth is it was my depression that made me decide it would be best for my students if I just walked away.
Two days ago I was hiking along a river with shale 'steps' I had to navigate. The current was very swift and I began to worry that I'd lose my balance and fall into the water. I knew it was irrational - After a couple of miles , I did fall, but I managed to fall backwards into the embankment. I lost it and freaked out. I had one of my "Damien Moments". I was trying to be quiet because there were families nearby, but in a deep gravely voice I told my husband "GET ME OUT OF HERE!! GET ME THE EFF OUT OF HERE NOW!!!" He led me back to the hiking trail we came off of and I was okay by the time we hiked back to the truck.
I wasn't embarrassed or anything. Why get embarrassed over something I can't control?
We have no control and are under no obligation to tell anyone about our illness.
I'm also deaf in my left ear like MI, no one can tell just by looking at me. I read lips.
That's what is needed, a coping mechanism. Are you in therapy? I finally learned to just chill. Not that it never upsets me, it's just that I've learned to recognize some of my behaviors as precursors before I crash and burn.

So Sorry for what you're going through! Please do not give up! i can understand and somewhat relate to what you're writing. It would be nice if people could just share their own mental illnesses without feeling judged but unfortunately like you've wisely and wonderfully said there's still a lot of stigma around. Even well-meaning people may be still put off by being open about it. i agree with you and the other wise and wonderful posters that there's nothing to be ashamed about it. Unfortunately sometimes we simply can't tell everything due to social norms and other stuff like that. i think simply saying that there are personal reasons for you to do ro say certain stuff should be enough. It is personal matter after all and there is no obligation to describe it. i don't think you need to lie about it, just not share much detail. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @xllewbowski, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Personally, I don't talk about my personal stuff now unless someone asks or a related topic comes up in conversation. I moved to where I knew no one so they had no idea what my past has been or what experiences I have had. My close friends know. No need to say anything more