Reflecting

I got sucked into a background check thing well i looked up my ex husbands. I sneak peaked at their online accounts. The ones i don't see regularly.

Anyway it's making me sad. I saw a twitter post about my 3rd husband marrying me, he was excited. He was an awful husband but it's making me a little sad. I blocked him on facebook. Debated about unblocking him but decided not a good idea. Letting him in would be detrimental to me.

Saw my 1st husbands namesake. And how put together my first husbands life is while mine is a mess. He took my advice. But still it's making me sad. My life is so empty. His is so full. He got everything he wanted.

I'm just dealing with delayed heartbreak.

i think it would be best to avoid checking out what your ex-Husbands are doing. Try to focus on your Family at least at the moment. Hopefully things will improve soon. i Hope you're doing Ok. Try to spend time with your mother and daughter and father ands grandparents and uncles and the relatives you have Sending many safe, warm hugsa to BOTH you, @Aviza, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

I know how tempting it is to look up ex's, but in the long run we hurt ourselves by doing so. Not doing it takes courage and discipline - but self-care is so important. Anything that we do online that brings up sad old memories is self-destructive, really. Deep inside, we want to be healthy, not bummed out.

I get it but from the other side on the experience. I still have to deal with my ex after 3 years after the divorce was final & 14 years after I left him. He is still screwing me up financially with all the stupid financial things he has done then basically stole all the money from the sale of the house. I look at his messed up life & so thankful I left when I did so I could finally get my own life together. I am kinda forced to reflect since I am taking legal action against him.....& the law firm is asking for information.....& I live 2100 miles away. In my case it makes me so thankful. The one time I saw him 3 years ago before the divorce was final but I had a legal hearing against him, I commented that I had never been happier in my whole life than I am now. That has been true for the whole 14 years after I left him. Sometimes our reflections make us very thankful

Well my first husband is doing great, a assistant vice president at a bank making around 200k a year, married with 4 kids that he always wanted. HIs 3rd wife was the charm. My 3rd husband was a piece of work that screwed me over like basically all my husbands did. I wish I could meet a guy that liked me for me but it doesn't seem to be in the cards. I was a rich kid taken for my money. My 2nd husband took my retirement, money from the house, anything he could get his hands on. I've just been screwed over screwed over screwed over. Now I see my first husband basking in a rewarded life. My life is **** in comparison.

I'm mentally ill so I shouldn't work full-time so advancing my career and life is out. I've gained 100 lbs 70 from meds. the rest from eating junk food. I'm just so bummed. He turned into the guy I always knew he could be, but when I married him he hadn't completed a degree and had no plans to return to school. Now he has a master's degree. He's in shape like he was. Our son died, he basically abadoned him, to go live with his happy family.

My mom tells me I don't respect vows, but my parents were the one pulling me away from him. He did strike me once. Begged and pleaded for forgiveness but I said no, once was too much. My parents hated him so it made it easier to leave than it would have been to stay. Now I get to see how wonderful his life turned out. While mine was a loss of my children both of them, son dies, daughter lives with dad, miscarriage cause I told God I couldn't lose a 3rd child. I always wanted 3 children now I think of the 14 year old I don't have. The marriages that didn't work out due to abuse. I attract abuse. Even dating sucks. Guys just looking for hook-ups. I want a real descent relationship. Why is that like the hardest thing in the world to ask for? Too late for kids. Doctors would kill me if I got pregnant so would my mom, I think she really hates me. She's been telling me not to have kids since I was young enough to have them.

I just want to be in a happy relationship, with a family. I missed the family part of life. Cause my mind broke. Honestly I just wish my life would end, it seems so fruitless. I can't have the life I want to have, I'm supposed to just live as a disabled person off the gov't. I don't want to live off the gov't. I want to be rich, successful, married. But I"ve tried 3x to be married and every guy was wrong for me. Abused me, abused my son, abused my finances. Now I look at owning a house, but I have debts to pay down. I feel like I need to win the lottery to buy a house. or condo, or whatever. Being disabled is so limiting it sucks. I'll never have the life I wanted and he got the life he dreamed of. I'm so sad. I'm happy it worked out for him in some ways but in others I'm just sad.

I am sorry Aviza. Yes being on disability isn’t easy but you are always trying your best. You work, despite being in disability. There are plenty of people who could work but they don’t and would rather be on welfare but you always try to do better.

You have a daughter. Keep relationship with her.

You need a house? What for? You live in apartment not on the streets like many others.

You want to be rich? So do I and so is everyone else. Lol I am not rich and never will be. Not in my line of work. Plus what’s rich? For someone with 4 kids making 200k isn’t being rich. My brother makes close to that but he put three kids through college so he isn’t rich whatsoever. Your ex is doing well. Who cares. You’ve no idea what else is going on in his life

Successful? You ARE. Way more than many others. Sure you aren’t famous but very few are.

You wanted three kids. Oh well some people can’t have any. I have one but wanted more. It didn’t happen. Who gets everything they want? No one

Count your blessings. I know siblings with usher syndrome. Progressively losing eye sight and hearing. They are deaf already ( got cochlear implants) but their blindness coming. They are living their lives knowing they’ll be blind in few years. Compare to that we are all doing great so count your blessings Aviza

It must be very tough to see all of that. I honestly can't imagine the pain of going through what you had gone through.


I agree with the other posters not to check any updates about you exes. I unfollowed everyone I despise on social media. It made my life a lot better, because I used to compare my life to them and it often made me feel like life was unfair. Now, I just focus on my own life and my own stability.


Hang in there.

Good post. I also agree with the other posters re not checking any updates about your exes.