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pachyderm
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#1
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifes...0dd_story.html
"Responses to ‘How are you?’ when you’re anything but fine" Have to learn to deal with this... __________________ Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear
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#2
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WovenGalaxy
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lizardlady
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#3
I have fibro which means many days I am in pain and exhausted. A previous boss asked me how I was one day when it was obvious I felt horrible so I gave Har an honest answer. In a stern voice she told me "I never want to here anything, but wonderful when I ask that question." As a result now when people who know the story ask how I am I say "WONDERFUL!" in an overly cheerful tone of voice.
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nonightowl
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#4
Quote:
Anyway, especially during THESE TIMES, it seems some people still expect the expected "fine" or "okay". The stupid question bothers me so much, I even asked my therapist to stop asking me that even though I can be honest with HER. It's just triggering, cause so many people "ask" but aren't REALLY asking so no real answer to them. I read somewhere that not all cultures do this, including asking what one makes. It's considered rude in some cultures. We do a lot of superficial, "cheerful" so-called pleasantries in this country that it's bad for people really suffering. Christ, just the garage calling me to say my car is ready HAD to ask me "How are you?" __________________ Call me "owl" for short! Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
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WovenGalaxy
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#5
I've never been comfortable with the question "so what do you do?" Its really dumb.
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leomama
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Location: USA
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#6
Quote:
I just lie, what’s the point of telling the truth? |
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nonightowl, WovenGalaxy
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seesaw
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#7
I usually respond with "still alive" and that gets a chuckle and some understanding.
__________________ What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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unaluna
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Anonymous32451
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#8
when someone asks me the question, I always respond with how I'm feeling
never been able to hide my emotions, wear a mask, or everything else people call it if people don't like the answer it isn't really my problem. they asked the question, so.. I find it a rather annoying question though, specially since people I find are generally not interested- they just ask out of politeness |
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downandlonely
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Legendary
pachyderm
without status for sure.
Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Washington DC metro area
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#9
Quote:
__________________ Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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nonightowl
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Legendary
pachyderm
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Location: Washington DC metro area
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#10
Quote:
__________________ Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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nonightowl, RoxanneToto, unaluna, WovenGalaxy
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Desert Kitty hates titles
nonightowl
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#11
Quote:
Hey, Pachy! Good topic! __________________ Call me "owl" for short! Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
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RoxanneToto
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downandlonely
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#12
Sometimes I am honest if I'm not doing well. Sometimes I say "hanging in there" as it might not be a good day but I'm doing my best to make it through.
It is an odd question. I had a friend from China who told me that there they ask "Have you eaten" instead of "How are you?" That one, I would not feel as weird about answering, lol. |
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RoxanneToto, WovenGalaxy
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nonightowl
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#13
Quote:
There's a woman in my building who's so overly perky and cheerful when she asks "How are you?" that I try to avoid her when I can. About food, I can always go for that! I wouldn't feel weird at that question either! "No, but I could go for a muffin and coffee. How about you?" __________________ Call me "owl" for short! Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
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catches the flowers
*Beth*
is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind,
body, spirit.
Member Since: Jul 2019
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#14
When I ask someone "How are you?" I only say it when I really mean it. I stop and listen to the person, because I really want to know how the person is. Our culture fosters speed in almost everything we do and I feel sad when someone doesn't give me a genuine answer.
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Legendary Wise Elder
eskielover
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Location: Kentucky, USA
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#15
So, the people I really know, I ask specifics like "how is your high blood pressure going". For people I really don't know well, "How are you?" Is just a greeting. Shoot, around here, it is not unusual to ask how someone's horse is.
We listen, & when we don't have time in our days, "fine" is a perfectly good answer & no one gets upset by whatever answer they are given. Maybe country living in life's more laid back state resolves some of the uprightness that people in the city seem to get upset by. __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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WovenGalaxy
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#16
I admit I'm sometimes guilty of asking "how's it going?" to people, when I really don't care. Its a reflex behavior, possibly to fill awkward space.
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Junior Member
tigerdove
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Member Since: Aug 2021
Location: California
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#17
It depends who I'm talking to.
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lizardlady, nonightowl, pachyderm
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Jelzig65
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#18
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nonightowl, pachyderm
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