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Trig Aug 06, 2021 at 05:49 AM
  #1
My brother and I had a huge fight yesterday. I basically caught him talking bad about my diagnosis (Situational Depression) with my sister. I didn't mean to invade his privacy, but he had left his IG account on my phone and I saw them talk literal sh** about me and my condition... live.

Yesterday was my first panic attack in my entire life–my doctor had prescribed me so many anti-anxiety pills and medicine and yesterday was the first time i actually took them.

I'm nowhere near confrontational, but I confronted my brother about it and he stood by his opinion of me and my condition. Now, I can't handle living under the same roof as him. I'm planning on moving out, but the only problem is I have a lot of pets, which is making my apartment/condo searching a lot more difficult.

I'm so lost, why is it when you think things start to get better, life just slaps you in the face?
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Default Aug 06, 2021 at 06:57 AM
  #2
Yeah, it can be very tough finding out what people really think about you behind closed doors, especially if they're people you loved or held in high regard. I'm sorry. I've been there too. Was very upsetting.

Do what you need to do to get through this incident because despite other peoples ill-informed beliefs, you and your mental health must still come first.

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Default Aug 06, 2021 at 07:37 AM
  #3
I genuinely thought they understood and emphatized with me, I love my family but they did me wrong.
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Default Aug 06, 2021 at 07:42 AM
  #4
So Sorry for what you're going through! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i agree with the wise and wonderful mote.of.soul about you doing what is needed to take care of yourself even though it is unfortunate that you saw that talk. It must be painful when we feel betrayed by a Loved One. Please do remember that you are a valuable person regardless of what other may think. i Hope things will improve really soon for everyone. Can anyone you know help with your pets at least temporarely? i am not sure how this works but i do Hope you will find the apartment. Love. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @lovableball, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Last edited by MickeyCheeky; Aug 06, 2021 at 07:43 AM.. Reason: fixed the throb emoticon at 14:42 i think
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Default Aug 06, 2021 at 11:18 AM
  #5
I am so sorry, that sounds like such a tough and hurtful situation, especially when it's coming from close family members. Your diagnosis is valid and so are you.
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Default Aug 06, 2021 at 12:46 PM
  #6
I suggest giving your siblings some educational information to read about your mental illness. Just a few pages that explain situational depression. It sounds like your sibs are in the dark about what you're dealing with.

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Default Aug 07, 2021 at 01:38 AM
  #7
Just curious, you say your MI is situational depression.....that was what mine ended up being too.... though no one grasped it at the time.....13 years & no mental health provider got to the foundational cause of it.

Interesting thing was, I left the situation that was causing it....moved 2100 miles away & my depression & anxiety that had disabled me, didn't come with me. I am just curious (something you can answer to yourself): Is the situation(s) causing you this depression/anxiety something you can remove yourself from?

There were issues I still had to deal with because of that past situation that caused NORMAL stress, but because I was no longer in the situation 24/7 I was able to handle it. I found wonderful psychologists & had 2 years of intense DBT therapy & they helped me process the situations that had been situations in my 54 years of life & helped me integrate what I had experienced into my current life. I no longer deal with depression or anxiety other than what is NORMAL in every day life.

It wasn't easy to initially break out of the situation but when I did, it was like I had a new life & could start over & build a whole new healthy life.....but I also get the being trapped in the situation(s) that cause the depression/anxiety & honestly that trapped feeling only adds to the depression.

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Default Aug 12, 2021 at 02:40 AM
  #8
Hi everyone I'm sorry for being MIA for so long... but the world has a way of getting things right. I've managed to find an apartment for myself that can accommodate me and my pets.

I did something I thought I could never do: I confronted my brother... needless to say, a lot of tears were shed. But, there was no shouting, no angry statements and etc–I stayed calm (with the help of my prescription meds fo course lol) and I told him what happened and how I felt. I expressed my sheer disappointment and sadness at what happened. My brother was apologetic but he was genuine; that was honestly how he felt. He couldn't comprehend my situation.

@eskielover you're absolutely spot on in saying that it's the environment that's causing it. I'm currently living in the childhood home my siblings and I grew up in where there was a lot of physical and verbal abuse from my parents. I think this has to do with a lot of it. I'm scared and honestly really worried about where this new decision is going to take me. This is, to tell you frankly, the biggest life-altering decision I'll ever make. I don't handle new environments really well, and I know the learning curve of living alone is rather steep, but I don't want my depression to deepen or to allow this MI to control my life forever.

Thank you all for your kind and wonderful messages, your virtual hugs and prayers have been dutifully received! I hope my next life update will be less depressing, I hope ya'll get the same positive news for today. Hugs and kisses.
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Default Aug 12, 2021 at 06:07 AM
  #9
What did you say to your brother when you confronted him?
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovableball View Post
My brother and I had a huge fight yesterday. I basically caught him talking bad about my diagnosis (Situational Depression) with my sister. I didn't mean to invade his privacy, but he had left his IG account on my phone and I saw them talk literal sh** about me and my condition... live.

Yesterday was my first panic attack in my entire life–my doctor had prescribed me so many anti-anxiety pills and medicine and yesterday was the first time i actually took them.

I'm nowhere near confrontational, but I confronted my brother about it and he stood by his opinion of me and my condition. Now, I can't handle living under the same roof as him. I'm planning on moving out, but the only problem is I have a lot of pets, which is making my apartment/condo searching a lot more difficult.

I'm so lost, why is it when you think things start to get better, life just slaps you in the face?

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Default Aug 12, 2021 at 03:26 PM
  #10
Quote:
I'm scared and honestly really worried about where this new decision is going to take me. This is, to tell you frankly, the biggest life-altering decision I'll ever make. I don't handle new environments really well, and I know the learning curve of living alone is rather steep,
I can so relate to this. It was the biggest decision I had ever made too. I was 54 years old & had never lived alone before in my life & I was working on recovering from anorexia & PTSD from what I went through when my mom was dying of cancer (caught home care person abusing my mom) along with being on disability for the major depression & anxiety. I was a total mess but knew leaving was basically my only chance to survive & hopefully recover. Lol....my H at the time (I found out 11 years later) was sure I would come crawling back to him within 2 years. 14 years later, I never did & have never been happier. But we don't know when we set foot on a new life path exactly where it will lead. Sometimes the "I have nothing to lose" is the incentive to make the change. At that point? It us usually worth that initial stress of adapting.

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Default Aug 12, 2021 at 05:50 PM
  #11
I moved 1000 miles away from my family, and I absolutely love the freedom of having my own apartment. Interestingly, I always thought I was an introvert because I wanted to be alone in my room. When I went to college, I found out that I was just hiding from my family. I love being around people I like.
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Default Aug 17, 2021 at 03:38 AM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
What did you say to your brother when you confronted him?
I told him that I saw what he and my sis said on the IG account on my phone. I told him that even he, himself, had his lapses, I would never talk bad about him to anyone and would tell him directly what I thought was wrong. I also told him that my leaving was not purely on him–that he was just a factor in this decision. I told him I wanted to heal–and being in the presence of the person who hurt me 24/7 is not going to help. I also asked him to give me at least 3 months to establish myself before visiting or communicating.

Last edited by lovableball; Aug 17, 2021 at 03:39 AM.. Reason: forgot to quote
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Default Aug 17, 2021 at 03:42 AM
  #13
Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover View Post


I can so relate to this. It was the biggest decision I had ever made too. I was 54 years old & had never lived alone before in my life & I was working on recovering from anorexia & PTSD from what I went through when my mom was dying of cancer (caught home care person abusing my mom) along with being on disability for the major depression & anxiety. I was a total mess but knew leaving was basically my only chance to survive & hopefully recover. Lol....my H at the time (I found out 11 years later) was sure I would come crawling back to him within 2 years. 14 years later, I never did & have never been happier. But we don't know when we set foot on a new life path exactly where it will lead. Sometimes the "I have nothing to lose" is the incentive to make the change. At that point? It us usually worth that initial stress of adapting.
Thank you for this; it's bringing me so much hope and idealism to my situation. What you've gone through is no joke either and I'm happy you were able to recover to tell the tale. I know for a fact that I'm very privileged to leave a toxic and abusive environment–not everyone is in the financial or mental capacity to do so. I've been packing my stuff and making sure my pets are accounted for. I've also just been hanging out on Pinterest... excited to make this new home an actual home for me. Well wishes to all of you xoxo
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Default Sep 07, 2021 at 07:00 AM
  #14
Another life update!

I've moved into my new place today, things are going smoothly so far. The silence is loud–I can hear my thoughts, my worries, and I can feel my anxiety creeping in. But, I know this is all for the best.

I'm finally in a place where no one makes the decision but for me, in a space that no one controls but myself, in a place where no one knows me.

I'm still time-blocking my schedule for groceries, cooking, cleaning, feeding my pets and etc–all a work in progress!

I'd like to thank everyone who sent messages and was overall very supportive, I hope blessings befall all of you as well!
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Default Sep 07, 2021 at 06:21 PM
  #15
Sounds like the change was very positive for you too. So glad. Yes, silence gave me time to actually hear my own thoughts that weren't always fighting against the other person....that aided healing. LOL...the first day I went grocery shopping & bought only foods I liked.....I actually jumped for joy in my own new kitchen.

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Default Sep 12, 2021 at 08:53 PM
  #16
I was just Talking about "situational depression" and being lost
I think all lost people will eventually be found.
If we are patient

Autumn is here.
Every first cool front of Fall..
Derealization.
Idk maybe cause there's less humidity in the air
Everything sounds different
Then it feels different
Everything starts seeming weird

The thick humidity in the Louisiana air is gone tonight
And I feel lost.

But we will all be found.
First I think we gotta find ourselves.
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