[black-roses]

So I've been on the lower dose for at least a week now and I've started to get intrusive thoughts again and anxiety. It's kind of disheartening to have some OCD symptoms like violent intrusive thoughts but I just reminded myself why I'm doing this. No matter what I'll always have OCD and whether or not I take medication I need to learn to manage it. Medication is only a band aid I have to learn to deal with the panic. For me I got lost in what the thoughts ment but truly that doesnt even matter. OCD makes you obsess about things that don't even matter and I finally realised that thoughts are just thoughts and there only a product of my deepest fears. Once I realized that it took some of the seriousness of the thoughts. Even though 75mg of seroquel took away the intrusive thoughts it came at a huge cost on my body. Being unable to lose weight, high cholesterol high blood sugar. I'm in a Seroquel group and I've seen first hand what this drug has done to people it has seriously destroyed lives. Amongst all that it gave me restless legs one night I kicked so hard at my bed when I was asleep that it woke me up startled, if it did that too me only a few months in imagine what it will do to be in the long run. So not matter how much anxiety intrusive thoughts I don't have much of a choice but to come off to save my brain any damage from this neurotoxin. In respect to that I have books on anxiety with DBT counselling techniques to help me and also I bought six books on anxiety and self esteem. I'm thinking I'll read those books and try and do the exercises in it. Coz at the end of the day nothing will improve until I do something.