My sister attempted suicide again

So, I finished Tafe today and went to the train station for mum to pick me up and we went to the shop my sister said she wanted help with Alana, so we rushed to her house there was a car crash so it was slower than usual. So we get here and we're waiting for her for twenty minutes I try and call her. Then I get a message from her bf in family chat on fb that there at the hospital and Daniela tried to end her life. I mean Daniela has attempted suicide many times me too but I had stopped for quite a while and when I think of suicide I just think it's a stupid thing and why would I want to die, like what would I achieve killing myself over a temporary situation.... I guess for some of us we see things differently and I guess there must be emotional difficulty for my sister to still be doing that. I mean she often complains about how her partner is verbally mean to her and that her daughter Alana is the reason she's stuck to this country that she hates. So I know that stuff would be the reason but I can't help but feel sort of angry, anxious and sad that she would do that there's a bit of shock but not a lot to be honest. I just really wished she didn't see her life as dark and dismal but I can't change her point of view only she can. She's in a crappy state of mind and I wish there was something I could do to ease the strain but I can't. All I pray is she's okay that's all

You can talk to her about how she feels; and listen non-judgementally. You could suggest a book that helped me immensely. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. Will she see a therapist?

I bought six books didn't realise they were pdfs and I sent them to her some were on anxiety, mindfulness, mental toughness etc. I'll see if I can find that book in my local book store thank you

I don't know if she's seeing a psychologist but she talks to her case manager Caabal a lot. I just talked to my sister and she said she overdosed to get away from Damien.

I'm so sorry. If Damien is an abusive partner, is there any way you can help her and her daughter to get out of that situation? I know it can be hard if she doesn't have the financial means to leave. But it seems pretty clear that she needs to leave him.

That's a tough worry to have on your heart long term. You want to be supportive, but will anything you do ever be enough? Possibly not. I would stop getting the books for her, as my first step. Secondly, I would try and spend regular hunks of quality time with her. Thirdly, I would consider my boundaries in the relationship with her.

You're not responsible for giving her a reason to live. Each person must work that out on their own. Your responsibility is to love her and be available to her in times of need. That does not mean she gets to pre-empt your plans for the day on a regular basis. When someone attempts suicide repeatedly, you have to consider that these attempts are meant to have an impact on others. She wants to change how her bf treats her, so this could be an attempt to emotionally blackmail him. (If I die, it will be your fault.) She's not going to change him any faster than you are going to change her. She possibly hopes that you and your other sister and your mom will put pressure on the bf to improve the relationship - make him feel guilty. That's not likely to happen either. She knows what she wants and is desperate to get it. Sometimes, in life, we just can't have what we want, which can be hard to accept. Sometimes we have to come up with Plan B. Your anger is understandable. You may feel like you are being manipulated, which I think you are.

You must free yourself from any notion that, if your sister does manage to end her own life, it will be because you failed her. That's what I mean about boundaries. You have your own responsibilities to take care of. Schedule quality time with your sis, but beware of being overly available. She has responsibilities too. Maybe ask her to do you some favors and to help you out with this or that. Depressed people are inclined to become self-absorbed. (I know that first-hand.) Don't reinforce self-harm behavior by overly rewarding it with excessive attention.

Your sister is in pain. That deserves empathy. Avoid comparing your sister to yourself. I can understand anyone wanting to leave this "vale of tears." It can seem like an effective way to end pain. As we mature, we come to understand that some pain goes with being alive. Your sister is having trouble growing up. Remind her of the challenges she has already met in life. Express your faith in her. This may be the moral support that her bf fails to provide. Let her express how he lets her down. Affirm what can be affirmed.

hugs to you. I am sorry this is going on.

I have lost someone to suicide- I lost my friend beth a couple years ago

here to talk if you want

I too have lost friends to suicide, I was 17 when I lost my friend Amber to suicide. She committed suicide because her parents wouldn't except she was a transgirl, wanted her to just be a boy because that what she was born as. Sadly, because of there ignorance I and so many people lost a shining light in this world.

Oh @black-roses I am so sorry your sister was unwell and thought that sui is the answer. If you dont mind sharing : do you know what her diagnosis's are and how long theyve been in play? What meds is she on and does she regularly see a psyche and therapist?

Quote:

Originally Posted by black-roses So, I finished Tafe today and went to the train station for mum to pick me up and we went to the shop my sister said she wanted help with Alana, so we rushed to her house there was a car crash so it was slower than usual. So we get here and we're waiting for her for twenty minutes I try and call her. Then I get a message from her bf in family chat on fb that there at the hospital and Daniela

Bipolar II and BPD she was 12 when she was first diagnosed and put on medication

Quote:

Originally Posted by black-roses Bipolar II and BPD she was 12 when she was first diagnosed and put on medication

Does she take meds now? Is she compliant ?What is your doctors think?

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Yes, she's compliant. I think her stress comes from her lack of confidence to take care of her child.

Hugs to you. I am sorry this is going on.

I also have lost someone, I lost my best friend a couple years ago.

Here to talk if you want!!!