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Old 11-26-2021, 03:58 PM   #21
MuseumGhost
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Default Re: My life is ruined and I see no way out.

Life has, at times, felt completely unbearable for me, too, SarahSweden. I think most people here can really relate to where you're at. We've all been there at one time or another.

Just being alive is a challenging situation. We normally get through it fairly smoothly, unless we're in some kind of pain, because that can make EVERYTHING feel worse.

If medications have not helped you (I know nothing about the Swedish Health procedures or methods), perhaps it's time to look into alternative, cognitive therapies (CBT & DBT) to get you through this rough patch. They help re-train your brain to turn off negative patterns in our thinking. CBT, especially, has helped me a great deal. And there have to be progressive doctors who can help you through this; and when you feel braver, online groups to check out.

Exercise, a very healthy diet, and getting as much sunshine as you can manage, early in the day, can also go a long way to improving our mood and helping move on from emotional pain and distress. There is no immediate pressure to do these things---start out small, and increase it as you are able.

I also like what Pachyderm wrote. Mindfulness has been an enormous help for me. When negative thoughts arrive in numbers, I distract myself with physical work, or things I simply enjoy doing. This can be enough to jump-start good chemicals in our brains, for short periods of time. Soon, it can become a healthy habit.

Simple acts of self-care have gotten me through tough times, and reminded me that where there's life, there's hope.

You've found the right place to find acceptance and understanding. Some of the Boards might move slowly, but people here are really kind, sincere, and helpful.

Wishing you a path out of those woods, and a light at the end of the tunnel.
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Old 11-26-2021, 09:20 PM   #22
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Default Re: My life is ruined and I see no way out.

If you don't feel that you can work full time, maybe you could try volunteering part time. I get a lot more fulfillment out of my volunteer work than I do from my paying job. Also, there is a lot you can do from home if you don't feel safe being out with Covid. I facilitate a few support groups via Zoom.

I don't know about dating, but I wouldn't just assume no one will want to be your friend because you're on disability. I have friends on disability, and my brother is on it as well. It doesn't mean I can't talk to them or hang out with them.
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Old 11-27-2021, 08:52 AM   #23
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Default Re: My life is ruined and I see no way out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MuseumGhost View Post
Life has, at times, felt completely unbearable for me, too, SarahSweden. I think most people here can really relate to where you're at. We've all been there at one time or another.

Just being alive is a challenging situation. We normally get through it fairly smoothly, unless we're in some kind of pain, because that can make EVERYTHING feel worse.

If medications have not helped you (I know nothing about the Swedish Health procedures or methods), perhaps it's time to look into alternative, cognitive therapies (CBT & DBT) to get you through this rough patch. They help re-train your brain to turn off negative patterns in our thinking. CBT, especially, has helped me a great deal. And there have to be progressive doctors who can help you through this; and when you feel braver, online groups to check out.

Exercise, a very healthy diet, and getting as much sunshine as you can manage, early in the day, can also go a long way to improving our mood and helping move on from emotional pain and distress. There is no immediate pressure to do these things---start out small, and increase it as you are able.

I also like what Pachyderm wrote. Mindfulness has been an enormous help for me. When negative thoughts arrive in numbers, I distract myself with physical work, or things I simply enjoy doing. This can be enough to jump-start good chemicals in our brains, for short periods of time. Soon, it can become a healthy habit.

Simple acts of self-care have gotten me through tough times, and reminded me that where there's life, there's hope.

You've found the right place to find acceptance and understanding. Some of the Boards might move slowly, but people here are really kind, sincere, and helpful.

Wishing you a path out of those woods, and a light at the end of the tunnel.
Great post MuseumGhost! It resonated with me, anyway!

SarahSweden, here's a hug. I'm sorry you've been struggling.
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Old 11-27-2021, 09:34 AM   #24
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Default Re: My life is ruined and I see no way out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by downandlonely View Post
If you don't feel that you can work full time, maybe you could try volunteering part time. I get a lot more fulfillment out of my volunteer work than I do from my paying job. Also, there is a lot you can do from home if you don't feel safe being out with Covid. I facilitate a few support groups via Zoom.

I don't know about dating, but I wouldn't just assume no one will want to be your friend because you're on disability. I have friends on disability, and my brother is on it as well. It doesn't mean I can't talk to them or hang out with them.
Yes part time job or part time volunteering (in addition to a job or instead) is a great start.

I agree about dating. Ton of people on disability date. But I understand that might not be a priority right now
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Old 11-27-2021, 04:49 PM   #25
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Default Re: My life is ruined and I see no way out.

Thanks. I do believe in different techniques and methods for self-improving and to feel better without having to rely on other people, for example health care. I see a group to do yoga once a week, it's arranged by the local health care center but itīs a way to feel a bit better.

Itīs though only possible to use different techniques and improvements to a certain extent as you canīt just isolate from society. By that I mean, I have to tackle all problems that come to me and I have to engage with people who create problems for me.

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Originally Posted by pachyderm View Post
For me, mindfulness has been about the only thing that has worked. People have different ideas as to what mindfulness is -- for some it seems to be some kind of nirvana, some kind of dreamy condition, but not the way I see it. Instead, it is being mindful about EVERY thought and feeling I have, even, or especially, the "bad" ones. I try to be a scientist to examine thoughts and feelings as a (n ideal) doctor or scientist would, to try to find out what they mean. I sometimes let my thoughts just go and see where they lead. I think I have figured out a lot in the process, though it takes time and is not easy. Often quite frightening. I try to stick with it.

It has worked for me. Doesn't mean it will work for you. Maybe you could examine this area of inquiry.

(I also have cats.)
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Old 11-27-2021, 04:51 PM   #26
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Default Re: My life is ruined and I see no way out.

I have tried and Iīve also been within several employment programs to find a trainee job or similar. Iīm currently waiting to join another program I havenīt tried before, in December, and perhaps theyīll be able to help me.

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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Well it’s not 100% accurate. People of all ages get jobs.
But you won’t know unless you try.

There must be vocational agencies that help people finding jobs. Sure not every job would work for you . But again you won’t know unless you try. I know people with every disability imaginable due to the nature of my job and many find something suitable and appropriate. Of course maybe there’s nothing suitable. But again you won’t know unless you try

I am not saying you must work but if you feel your life is ruined and you aren’t happy about it, then you might want to try something
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Old 11-27-2021, 04:58 PM   #27
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Thanks for your support and your tips, I appreciate it.

The thing is that Iīve already been within outpatient psychiatric care for several years and they canīt offer anything besides short CBT interventions and medication. I need a longer therapy and after asking for that for several years, I know that wonīt be possible as I canīt pay for therapy out of my own pocket.

I do some of those things you propose; I eat healthy, I go for walks or bicycle trips almost every day, I do yoga once a week.

I appreciate this forum and all the people who care. I also find it comforting to know that there are people "out there" experiencing similar things as I do.

Thanks for wishing me to find a way forward, write again if you want to.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MuseumGhost View Post
Life has, at times, felt completely unbearable for me, too, SarahSweden. I think most people here can really relate to where you're at. We've all been there at one time or another.

Just being alive is a challenging situation. We normally get through it fairly smoothly, unless we're in some kind of pain, because that can make EVERYTHING feel worse.

If medications have not helped you (I know nothing about the Swedish Health procedures or methods), perhaps it's time to look into alternative, cognitive therapies (CBT & DBT) to get you through this rough patch. They help re-train your brain to turn off negative patterns in our thinking. CBT, especially, has helped me a great deal. And there have to be progressive doctors who can help you through this; and when you feel braver, online groups to check out.

Exercise, a very healthy diet, and getting as much sunshine as you can manage, early in the day, can also go a long way to improving our mood and helping move on from emotional pain and distress. There is no immediate pressure to do these things---start out small, and increase it as you are able.

I also like what Pachyderm wrote. Mindfulness has been an enormous help for me. When negative thoughts arrive in numbers, I distract myself with physical work, or things I simply enjoy doing. This can be enough to jump-start good chemicals in our brains, for short periods of time. Soon, it can become a healthy habit.

Simple acts of self-care have gotten me through tough times, and reminded me that where there's life, there's hope.

You've found the right place to find acceptance and understanding. Some of the Boards might move slowly, but people here are really kind, sincere, and helpful.

Wishing you a path out of those woods, and a light at the end of the tunnel.
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Old 11-27-2021, 05:06 PM   #28
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Default Re: My life is ruined and I see no way out.

Thanks. Yes, Iīve thought of volunteering, walking and looking after other peopleīs dogs but as I donīt know from week to week how Iīll feel I havenīt done anyhing of that.

I feel I donīt have that much in common with most people and I donīt want to look for people where wqe share mental health care issues and not much more. . Also, as Iīm 40+, a man or a potential partner wouldnīt form a serious relationship with someone like me who lives on welfare and donīt work. I would then just be at home and heīll be working if I donīt look for someone in my own situation and I would never want that. I lack too much of what the "normal" person has gotten and has experienced.

Quote:
Originally Posted by downandlonely View Post
If you don't feel that you can work full time, maybe you could try volunteering part time. I get a lot more fulfillment out of my volunteer work than I do from my paying job. Also, there is a lot you can do from home if you don't feel safe being out with Covid. I facilitate a few support groups via Zoom.

I don't know about dating, but I wouldn't just assume no one will want to be your friend because you're on disability. I have friends on disability, and my brother is on it as well. It doesn't mean I can't talk to them or hang out with them.
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Old 11-27-2021, 05:10 PM   #29
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Default Re: My life is ruined and I see no way out.

I donīt want to look for a relationship where both me and him are on disability or live on welfare. Thatīs not a life I want to live. I want a stable life and itīs more or less impossible as I donīt have my own family close and I donīt have the strength to do all practical things when lacking safety and caring from other people.

Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Yes part time job or part time volunteering (in addition to a job or instead) is a great start.

I agree about dating. Ton of people on disability date. But I understand that might not be a priority right now
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Old 11-28-2021, 02:37 AM   #30
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Default Re: My life is ruined and I see no way out.

I never got on welfare, I thought I could do it on my own. Honestly, the world treats us, those with mental health issues, differently.

I hear you, sarahsweet. I'm not going to validate your emotions, as they are 100% yours! I will say a new movement needs to happen. One where we leave the generational traumas behind and truly listen. I've sought help only to see I am the only person who can help me. Welfare gives money out, at least here, it does nothing but cause more issues. Never giving purpose, causing more issues. What if money just disappeared, then we would have to communicate with each other.

I've tried to help those on welfare, and it's tough. I felt inadequate to help, because I could see the deep dark secrets that most hide.

Let's shine a light and help people see the truth.

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Old 11-28-2021, 09:47 AM   #31
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Default Re: My life is ruined and I see no way out.

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I never got on welfare, I thought I could do it on my own. Honestly, the world treats us, those with mental health issues, differently.

I hear you, sarahsweet. I'm not going to validate your emotions, as they are 100% yours! I will say a new movement needs to happen. One where we leave the generational traumas behind and truly listen. I've sought help only to see I am the only person who can help me. Welfare gives money out, at least here, it does nothing but cause more issues. Never giving purpose, causing more issues. What if money just disappeared, then we would have to communicate with each other.

I've tried to help those on welfare, and it's tough. I felt inadequate to help, because I could see the deep dark secrets that most hide.

Let's shine a light and help people see the truth.

Sent from my motorola one 5G ace using Tapatalk

Hey @puzzclar you meant Sarah Sweden not Sarah sweets right ? I agree with some of what you say but I don’t believe that welfare causes more issues. The fact that the US can’t help it’s working poor to me is a disgrace. Do you know they base the federal poverty guidelines on a model from the 60’s ? How does that take cost
Of living and inflation into account?

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