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puzzclar
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Default Nov 28, 2021 at 02:24 AM
  #1
My life is frustrating. I can't get help, because compassion is no longer around, COVID killed compassion. I am in similar situation as a some one living on the streets. I live with my parents, and I still feel it's not my home. There are looks of distain, looks of disappointment, and feelings of why am I living here?

I tried to work, but my manager is overwhelmed and not asking for help from others on staff, seemingly to do it all by herself. That things are happening due to poor leadership. It's bad enough, I can't make a formal complaint and my manager believes it's all me. She's blind and ignoring the truth. The truth is I was left not knowing expectations, and now I'm a whistle blower. Yet I don't care!

My traumas have made me who I am today. Yet, I'm unsupported by professionals. Even people in a position for leadership said you can't do clinical work. That is completely off, and maybe they need to look at themselves And see the damage and harm they are doing, by gatekeeping someone out.

What's bad is I'm very tempted to call and protect others, yet then they will find fault with me. And not do anything. People of leadership, people in mental health judge me and find fault, never providing help. They throw a diagnosis in my face, and say by there efforts that I can't be whole, complete, healed. That change never happens.

I'm calling people out for lack of communication and compassion. And if someone doesn't like it, let's blame it on COVID, or on Satan, and never take ownership.

I'm stuck, without resources, and people believe I should be on disability. I say, no it's the system that is giving up on people, and people can't see what's right on front of them. People lie and cheat, the ones that tell the truth get hurt.

Thanks for letting me vent!

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Help Nov 28, 2021 at 07:31 AM
  #2


I'm sorry you are struggling with a lack of meaningful social support and adequate psychotherapy in your life. Indeed, this pandemic has killed compassion. It's all part of pandemic fatigue - people getting sick of this pandemic, regardless of their political leaning, religious beliefs or not, etc. Everyone's sick of this! Everyone has different (heterogeneous) reasons for being upset at this pandemic. It's changed our lives, our identities, our relationships, our lifestyles, our daily routines, our distress tolerance, etc.

I'm sick of it all, and yet I still find room to vent my own side of frustrations, and it is much harder to feel compassion amid polarization and civic divide. Everything is controversial in a pandemic, so there's very little wiggle room for compassion unless you find your clan, your tribe, your political leaning, your religious or non-religious subculture within that political leaning, your niche in careers during these pandemic times (if it exists, and if you're financially able to make a lateral or otherwise career change), etc. There are adaptive ways to coping with these divides, but such topics have largely been censured and therefore lack the evidence-based practices from lack of community psychology and the like to be able to find professional help either in psychotherapy or even among human resources and management at companies. The workplace has a component of psychology embedded in human resources and management overseeing their subordinates, but there's been too much divide even among those institutions. So it comes as no surprise that people are divided, pandemic fatigued, and lack compassion. People who find their own tribes fare better, at least according to the therapeutics on racial traumas and how the evidence-based for them (being non-white) is to find support among both their tribe (their culture) and possibly among white and other cultural allies. In a similar therapeutic vein, due to similar systemic divides, the therapeutic proactive response to continuous traumatic stress (in this case it isn't the continuous racial trauma, but rather the continuous pandemic trauma regarding many losses - like identity, routine, relationships, autonomy, freedom, health, death, etc.) is to find the group you most fit in with and seek social support from that, and feel empowered with that. So, if you're an atheistic conservative, find that group. If you're a religious conservative, find that group. If you're a progressive, find that group, If you're a minority who wishes to not vaccinated, find that group. If you're a liberal religious person, find that group. If you're a liberal non-religious minority, find that group. If you're a centrist, find that group. If you're a non-partisan independent or unaffiliated, find that group. And so on.

We're divided into tribes, which is the new norm today. It's a sad reality, but the best approach for mental health and overall quality of life is for each person to seek support and validation from their tribe. Find your tribe in real life, in the workplace, in your family, and online here, and limit your time with groups or people who invalidate you, frustrate you, stress you out, retraumatize you, etc. Like suggestions about limiting time reading the news, also limit your time with political leanings.

You and I may not agree on many things related to this pandemic, but I can say that I care enough to know what the psychologists who understand continuous traumatic stress as it relates to divides and inequities say - to find support and empowerment through your tribe. Eventually, the polarization will swing back, but it takes a while if history is repeating itself or even reinventing itself through these arbitrary divisions.

Hang in there. Don't expect to find sympathy, empathy, validation, or compassion among those who don't agree with you politically or spiritually; it just won't happen in this new norm, as a result of this pandemic. It'll be a while before divisions begin to compromise. The trauma for all sides remains "raw," so it's like asking a murder victim to simply converse with the murder suspect and forgive. It just isn't going to happen, and both sides are seeing threats from the other. It's just a psychosocial, anthropological, social psychological, and cultural phenomenon of this time - these divides are. The best way to adapt is to use what has worked for those minorities who have experienced such on an ongoing, historical basis - to find their tribe and limit their time with outsiders until there's enough support and compromise from the top (government) down (civilians).
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Default Nov 28, 2021 at 11:44 AM
  #3
I found virtual support groups with others who suffer from mental illness very helpful. I even facilitate a NAMI support group in my area. Let me know if you would like links to check some of the support groups out. Most of them are free.
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Default Dec 05, 2021 at 06:50 AM
  #4
The truth can hurt very much. That’s why people lie. To either not hurt themselves
or someone else….

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Default Dec 12, 2021 at 09:30 AM
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Help Dec 12, 2021 at 09:38 AM
  #6



Safe thoughts and wishes and cyberhugs for all those who need support, validation, healing, health, and a better quality of life!

Be safe, be well, continue self-care, continue adaptive coping responses, continue treatments to help yourself heal (whether they be self-help treatments, online treatments, in-person physiological treatments, telehealth, and/or psychotherapy treatments), and continue participating in groups like these or otherwise. Don't give up, but do process your feelings and thoughts as you need to.
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Default Dec 27, 2021 at 11:39 AM
  #7
yes therapists do have an agenda that's why we need more dr phils and less therapists try contacting dr phil for what you really want in life
also remember this the cream always rises to the top keep on rising
you may be of a very high intelligence but we need help too don't we.
especially when we are born a fish out of water and forced to swim around in a place we do not belong
its possible you can help them more than they are NOT helping you if your place in the world was switched with theirs
always rise trust your inner voice
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Default Dec 28, 2021 at 02:28 AM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by downandlonely View Post
I found virtual support groups with others who suffer from mental illness very helpful. I even facilitate a NAMI support group in my area. Let me know if you would like links to check some of the support groups out. Most of them are free.
I would like info and the links if you do not mind PM'ing me.

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