Pandemic Stress, Pandemic Continuous Traumatic Stress, Tribalism Coping, & More!

The Covid-19 pandemic began in the latter months of 2019 and continues on today - in 2021. It's been two years since the pandemic began, and it will likely linger on for three years unless an "endemic" is declared.

For many people, the pandemic has been stressful, and for many others, the pandemic has been traumatic.

When the trauma is systemic, global, and ongoing, such as with pandemics or world wars, domestic violence cases, human trafficking traumas, immigration/migration traumas, and secret childhood maltreatment traumas (never reported so therefore ongoing), it is said to be continuous traumatic stress.

Continuous traumatic stress differs from post-traumatic stress by the first term in those two phrases - the former being "continuous" (very present, almost daily), and the latter being "post" (in the past).

There were publications about continuous traumatic stress in special journals back in 2013, but they could very well apply now - in this present-day pandemic. According to the American Psychological Association, In the context of continuous traumatic stress among racial trauma survivors, whose historical traumas and systemic traumas have continued to present traumatic stress among the lives of those affected, the American Psychological Association has the following tips offered to those who experience such systemic widespread traumas. These tips can certainly apply to the racial traumas that Asians have experienced in the past (Yellow Peril, slave trades with both African Americans and Chinese Americans, Internment Camps for the Japanese), but they can also similarly apply to ALL PERSONS EXPERIENCING PANDEMIC TRAUMA, which is a form of continuous traumatic stress - and perhaps, on a continuum scale, much more severe than "pandemic stress."

Here are the tips from the APA that can apply to many forms of continued traumatic stress, including racial trauma and pandemic trauma. REPLACE "RACISM" WITH "PANDEMIC TRAUMA" or "PANDEMIC STRESS" unless pandemic-related racial trauma is also something you are struggling with on top of pandemic trauma:

1. PANDEMIC Example: I'm afraid all the time of death, of others dying, of contracting or spreading disease.

PANDEMIC Example: I can't concentrate or enjoy life anymore because I can't stand how long this pandemic goes on, and I lost hope in the pandemic ever ending. I don't know how this will affect my life, my children's lives, my career, and my relationships. I fear the life I knew is completely over.

2. PANDEMIC Example: I'm angry about how politicized and weaponized this pandemic has become, and how the news and society perpetuate it. I'm angry about how we can't process this in the open with anyone, and how therapists aren't trained yet to treat it because of the lack of communication on these very issues, the politics involved with all the various struggles, etc.

PANDEMIC Example: I'm angry about losing many relationships, and about people dying from Covid-19 in my life. I'm angry that the people who survived it are now so different because they struggle with long-Covid and can no longer afford to hang out - physically or financially. I'm angry about how this pandemic has changed all of us.

3. 3a. PANDEMIC Example: Take a break from certain political discussions, political news, pandemic-related news, negative news, etc. Set aside just one hour a day or even one hour a week to read such negative news and/or engage in negative topics if these topics are distressing you.

PANDEMIC Example: Set boundaries with yourself and others to limit political conversations.

3b. Ergo: Find your tribe - or healthy tribalism as an adaptive coping response to systemic traumas, historical traumas, and continuous traumatic stress.

AN EXAMPLE OF ADAPTIVE TRIBALISM - "Tribalism is human nature."

PANDEMIC Example: If you are Asian and experiencing anti-Asian racial traumas, seek support from Asian communities who understand the culture for which you struggle with anti-Asian biases, hate, bigotry, discrimination, etc. (such as the "model minority myth" - which differs drastically from other minorities of other races and ethnic backgrounds experiencing racism).

PANDEMIC Example - If you are a religious conservative, or if you are a progressive liberal, find those with like-minds, like-values, like-beliefs and seek support from them regarding your own personal (tribal) experiences, struggles, traumas, and more. Avoid being stressed out with endless debates by finding your tribe and getting the validation and support you need, especially in times of great divide, war, or community violence.

3c. PANDEMIC Example: Cut down on unhealthy food and begin eating healthier foods to boost your immune system. If you need more help, seek support online, seek medical support, and/or see psychological support.

PANDEMIC Example: Work on sleep hygiene routines, and keep those routines consistent. If this doesn't work, seek therapy or medical advice to help with this.

PANDEMIC Example: You don't need to exercise to get movement in your body and get your blood flowing. You can do house chores, bed yoga, pacing, etc.

3d. PANDEMIC Example: Vaccines offer hope that at least most severe infections and death from Covid-19 will be best managed with vaccines and boosters. Studies have already shown progress in this area, even though there may be breakthrough cases and/or cases from mutations.

PANDEMIC Example: Social distancing and mask-wearing have offered hope in terms of keeping ourselves and others safe from severe and massive doses of virus. Studies have shown that the viral load counts toward whether or not someone receives infectious doses of virus that can lead to disease, and how severe such disease will be. The lowered the dose of virus, the lowered the risk of severe infection.

PANDEMIC Example: There are safety protocols in place to help us socialize and work in person - with precautions, of course.

3e. PANDEMIC Example: In this case, talk to therapists who understand continuous traumatic stress and how it differs from post-traumatic stress. Perhaps speak with therapists about pandemic trauma and how it differs to you in terms of it being more intense than the "pandemic stress" being spoken about in the news and other media outlets.

PANDEMIC Example: Also talk with therapists who may understand racial traumas if you are any person with any background (minority or majority) experiencing racism - either as the victim, victim-offender, or offender. There are therapists who can help those who grew up in racism - whether you were a victim, offender, or both.

Here are some references related to the pandemic being a traumatic stressor:

Bridgland et al. (2021). Why the COVID-19 pandemic is a traumatic stressor. PLOS ONE, https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0240146.

Kira et al. (2021). The effects of COVID-19 continuous traumatic stressors on mental health and cognitive functioning: A case example from Turkey. Current Psychology, https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-021-01743-2

Personally, for me, I experience pandemic trauma in the following ways:

1. Anti-Asian hate - I've experienced it online and via phone calls during this pandemic. I did report these instances to the AAPI's database. I'm a multiracial, multiethnic Asian American and European American.

2. Fear of contracting Covid-19 - I isolate, wash my hands frequently, use a lot of PPE, and avoid people and situations where the virus could be lingering in the air.

3. Fear of contamination - I use single-use washcloths to dry my hands and open cupboards and doors within my own apartment, since there is, in fact, shared air that flows from the hallway to my apartment. My area and apartment complex has many people who refused to get vaccinated or wear masks or both.

4. Relational loss - I've lost many friends and family relationships because of the divides. Honestly, it's better that I find my tribe within my family and among my like-minded friends anyway. I've felt like I know who my real friends are because of their mutual level of concern for our health and safety.

5. Career loss - I no longer feel safe studying in brick-and-mortar schools because of anti-Asian hate and this ongoing pandemic. My mental health has worsened to the point that my brain fog has drastically increased, and my inability to concentrate has also drastically increased. I also have worsened chronic fatigue syndrome/myalgic encephalomyelitis (CFS/ME), which leaves me both bedbound and homebound on a daily or weekly basis.

6. Identity loss - I no longer feel safe being in a multiracial Asian body, and I no longer feel like I was the confident, intelligent person I once was who graduated with highest honors, won many awards, and published a paper in a peer-reviewed journal. I'm no longer that person, though I felt this way before the pandemic hit. It's only gotten worse since the pandemic hit. I have experienced worsening conditions ever since 2016, to be honest. But the pandemic of 2019 made it far worse for me.

7. Mental health loss - All the progress I made in certain areas have come undone, and I've worsened in other areas. I struggle with pandemic stress like everyone else, but I also struggle with continuous traumatic stress because of my fears of the present and the future, fears of the threats on my life, fears about dying a traumatic and violent death (being "throat raped" with intubation, for instance, or experiencing hate and discrimination in terms of medical malpractice and being isolated as I die alone), fears about dying alone in my apartment with no one to check in on me, fears of becoming even more disabled than I am now (and unable to care for myself, walk, talk , breathe, type, etc., due to long-covid and debilitating severe effects rendering me bedbound and on a walker or oxygen tank), etc. I have become more obsessive-compulsive about wanting to control my own safety, since I fear that no one else truly cares for me, and since it is hard for me to trust family, governments, and friends. My dissociation has worsened, as there are new alters taking over to deal with certain aspects of this pandemic, including Isabel. My PTSD has worsened because I have more nightmares about military sexual trauma, childhood sexual abuse trauma, parental racism against myself and my Japanese mother by my own European father, childhood bullying trauma, workplace harassment trauma, domestic violence trauma from the past, etc.

8. Physical health loss - my fatigue has worsened, my weight was gained, and my bloodwork and other labs show up abnormal since 2019 (anemia, nodule on thyroid, uterine disorder, upper respiratory infection in March 2020 - which took 3 months to heal, prediabetes risk newly detected, abnormal thyroid, abnormal blood tests, abnormal pap, etc.). I doubt that I'll ever be able to rehabilitate through the VA's VRE program now. I also doubt that it's worth me saving for cosmetic surgery and braces to improve my looks when my own health is now eating up all the costs, including the expense of door deliveries (via ultimate isolation) and PPE. My eyesight has also worsened.

9. Increased externalizing issues such as anger, irritability, suicidality, interpersonal relationship problems, lowered tolerance for even minor distresses, paranoia, distrust, avoidance, isolation, depression, obsession, rumination, compulsions, stress eating, nail and skin picking, and more.

10. My intelligence, drive, and focus are no longer there, and I fear that I no longer have any meaningful purpose in life. I fear that I will die without leaving any good legacy behind.

11. My worry about my daughter, who was adopted. I haven't been able to meet her in person, and this pandemic has stressed my relationship with her adoptive mother. My daughter is an adult, and I fear that I'll never get to meet her before I die. I also fear that something bad will happen to my daughter, since she is Asian, too.

12. My loneliness has increased. I hate social distancing and isolating, and I hate wearing masks, and I have no energy to clean all the time. But I do it as part of my civic duties as well as because that is who I am. I am also terrified and dealing with worsened mental health symptoms and disorders, so that factors in. I fear that I'm unlovable, unlikable, and even invisible. I fear that I am hated and don't matter.

13. My thoughts while awake are wacky - as if I'm dreaming while awake. My nightmares have drastically increased. My dissociation has also increased. I fear that I have no control over my thoughts, though I seem to be okay when typing or doing research. It makes more sense when I read about what others are going through, even in other countries. I can relate, though I get retraumatized sometimes, so I have to limit what I read. It's a bittersweet way of not feeling so alone and validating my bizarre thoughts, but it also risks more trauma.

My coping for all the above include:

1. Setting boundaries with others concerning political talks that differ from my own values and worldviews.

2. Finding my multiple tribes, since I'm multiracial and multiethnic, which makes it more challenging to find a tribe when most tribes are notably homogeneous. There are few studies about the struggles of multiracial and multiethnic persons like me, who don't always fit in with the Asian crowd, and who aren't seen as European at all.

3. Seeking social support for my mental health through my therapist, the Vet Center, the Veterans Crisis Line, my recreational rehabilitation therapist, online support groups, local friendships, filial friendships.

4. Distracting via cleaning, organizing, watching television shows (mostly reruns because anything new is hard for me to concentrate on).

5. Maintaining physical safety through social distancing, isolating in place, following the science on aerosolization, and wearing PPE when I am exposed to shared air space.

6. Maintaining emotional safety by listing off all the safe items in my home, in myself, among my alters, and locally.

7. Using grounding techniques to deal with my dissociation, such as internal family systems coping, listing safety items, moving around to feel my body again, sometimes breathing.

8. Using self-care techniques like trying to stick to a routine the best I can, trying to find a healthier diet, trying to maintain cleanliness with hygiene and disinfecting surfaces, keeping my air purified through air purifiers, resting intermittently, pacing myself, reading more information about my many physical and mental health disorders and symptoms, listening to music, reading, pacing, doing "exercise snacks" with walking around inside my apartment or doing chores, and sometimes giving myself a beauty treatment.

9. Limiting my news reading to 1 hour per day at most, but ideally 1 hour per week when I'm super stressed.

10. Getting vaccinated, boosted, and checked up when it is recommended and/or safe to do so.

11. Reporting unwanted calls to the FTC, as well as fraudulent texts to the FTC. Maintaining my identity safety through reporting and monitoring my credit and bank accounts daily.

12. Allowing myself to express anger, rage, frustration when I can safely do so, and in cathartic ways, such as when I utilize advocacy the best way I can, despite my other mental illnesses getting in the way at times. It's important not to bottle all these feelings in.

13. Expressing sadness with my T, which is safer than me expressing that alone. Sometimes I need to call the Crisis Line to do so.

14. Keeping and maintaining a safety plan for when I'm suicidal.

15. Trying to help at least one person a week, or at least helping myself when I have no energy to help anyone else.

well now just as we're thinking it maybe safe to have visit some family members I haven't seen for a long time....Omicron decides to arrive on our shores!!

On the plus side it gets me out of all appointments/social events I didn't want to go to for at least another 6 months until next spring/summer!!

I was thinking the same thing - that just when I was going to try and get used to more in-person stuff, Omicron shows up. I'm playing it safe regardless.

I just hope that this time the world gets vaccinated enough so that we can slow these mutations.

Problem is by the time they've made vaccinations specifically for this variant they'll probably be another!


They don't know whether current vac's will protect against it and the symptoms are nothing like the other variants....more extreme fatigue and muscle aches and pains which is same as a lot of different neurological conditions including my own! I've had those symptoms daily since my mid 30's (now early 50's!) does that put me at an advantage (cos I already have coping strategies in place) or a disadvantage cos getting omicron on top would make them even worse?


I'm not bothered about being on my own another winter I get a new console and games for xmas so I'll have plenty to fill my time between them and looking after my dog, but not knowing what the effects may be when someone can come into my home with no physical symptoms...For example... its a legal requirement to allow a gas servicing of the boiler every year which is always a complete stranger and in my country I'm required by law to give them access or get evicted.

They will wear full PPE if you insist and you can stay in another room or have someone else to oversee them but it doesn't stop the feelings of anxiety.

I was planning to visit family in India, but if omicron causes them to close their borders that will be canceled.

I'm so sorry, @downandlonely - but it is probably best not to risk traveling with possible bans and then being stranded, as well as getting ill, too. But it's tough missing family. I don't really have close family, but there are a few family members who seem safe enough to know. They're in California though, and it's too risky for me to go there. I thought we had a handle on things until this new variant came out. And the news recently reported that it's already here in the U.S., with a traveler who returned from South American in late November having contracted Omicron variant of Covid-19 and is currently told to quarantine while they do contact tracing. By the time we hear this news, it's already spread to a few other surrounding states and locally within California. That's how exponential spread works.

I am so pandemic fatigued and really not doing well with my isolation anymore. I thought I could gut it out for a year, maybe two, but it's been hell living like this. I miss socializing and people, yet now I'm terrified of it all.

I used to love traveling. Now I'm horrified by it.

But I really do feel your pain with the traveling.

I'm sorry your family is so far away, and that you can't travel. But hopefully they will find that this variant is not as severe. I hope that is the case, but who knows. Meanwhile, I hope you are able to connect with you family somehow. If it is safe to travel, I hope you have safe travels with no bans.

Sorry to hear you're not coping with isolation well. Do you not go out at all or see anyone?



I guess having my dog for company is enough for me, I couldn't deal with people living with me, though I enjoy seeing close family for a couple of hours every month.





I do noticed I feel more 'cooped up' if we've had heavy snow and I couldn't get the dog out on the scooter for a couple of days..though I do go in the garden to throw snowballs for him! ..but we're both desperate to get out on our walk by the time the snow clears!!


Is it safe to go for a walk or run once a day in nature where you are?

I'm sorry you struggle with mobility issues, and that you feel cooped up when you're snowed in.

I work with a rec rehab therapist who walks with me,. I don't feel safe to do so alone - at least not when crowds are out during daylight hours. I don't feel safe in the dark, but I have walked to and from my apartment and the VA Hospital to get labs draw early in the morning - before the sun rises. The lab opens at 6 a.m. The sun doesn't rise until around 7:30 a.m. I get home by around 7 a.m., long before the major morning rush. But I only do that once in a great while. I did that last week. I see my rec rehab therapist on the 17th. I rest in between those periods, because such walks wipe me out. I fear that they will worsen my CFS/ME, so I have to watch it and not overdo it. I might already be overdoing it.

I have to say though...not sure if its partly due to menopause too making me feel less like I have to constantly conform to 'being normal' and the space from the isolation to not have to mask to cope with social stuff I don't really want to go to - but I really feel like I've 'found myself'.

In the past I'd be so busy either at college or work and barely got any time to just feel like I was being me I was always trying to be 'a more normal/socially acceptable version' of how I really felt.

With no pressure to go anywhere other than walk the dog when its really quiet I've had loads of time to just 'be me'.


Only thing is I feel like a completely different person and don't want to return back to a life where I felt I constantly had to 'be someone else' to be accepted or fit in.

I'm trying to just "be me" (or in my case with DID, be fluid and multiple). I'm done with trying to fit in. I've been there, done that, yada yada. I'm too old to "conform" to those aesthetical standards. I'd rather adhere to health-conscious and environment-conscious standards for our current life and our future generations.

I'm afraid I don't know very much about DID.... is it similar to autistic masking where you have a 'persona' version of you to deal with social stuff?

Yes - that is pretty much a good definition of DID, but we have more than one persona (at least two or more). In my case, I have over 45 or 50. It's hard to keep track. But there are a few alternate personalities (also known as "alters" or "parts" or "insiders") who stand out from the rest, and who come out to handle stressful life situations. The "host" or "main" person is almost always confused and hiding, though she comes out to process and be co-conscious with us once in a while.

The alters have different tasks. Most deal with social stuff - especially the triggering stuff, but some deal with non-social stuff, such as when an alter inside deals with suicidal ideation, or another alter deals with loneliness and depression, or another alter deals with certain memory flashbacks from specific traumas, etc. It's hard for us to be co-conscious when the parts are struggling intensely and feeling some strong emotions.

We do have an alter who can relate to autism in some way, but we don't have the diagnosis of autism. The alter inside rocks herself back and forth when she's stressed. She is 8 years old, and she sometimes bangs the sides of her head with her fists, though she's not done that for over a decade, so she's doing a little better now. She dealt with a lot of trauma in the past. She has a protector inside who is 16 years old. She rarely speaks, and she is socially awkward, but once in a while she likes to play with the other littles. She mostly watches though. She's not used to human contact.

45 or 50!!!! How do you deal with that!


Having one other is bad enough and not feeling you can be yourself in front of people!!!


I have a 'young mind' I don't see it as a 'seperate me' necessarily but it's the part that loves video games. The 'adult' part rationalises that this is acceptable if used for physio purposes (such as yoga on wii fit), or puzzles for the mind. (to prevent dementia while we are stuck in isolation) and it does also gives us Tinnitus relief as usually so focused on the game it doesn't bother us during gameplay.


I feel a split between two but I think thats only because when I was a teenager I went deaf due to medical problems..I'd also spent a lifetime being made fun of particularly because I couldn't get out my name without stammering.


So I changed my name legally as soon as I could to one I could say more easily..also as a then deaf teenager I was plunged into a very different world..sent to a specialist college to learn lip-reading,work skills and sign language (to be able to access interpreters)...so there was a 'hearing me' (under birth name) and a 'deaf me'. (with a different name)


My parents never learned to sign..given my difficulties getting me speaking in the first place I think they were afraid I'd never speak again if they accepted me signing to them instead, but allowed me to learn it and encouraged me to see myself as my friends interpreters (for those born deaf who struggled more) in the outside world.


I went on to train to be a teacher for the deaf at university using sign interpreters to follow lectures.


Along the way though I discovered I had autism and part of my 'deafness' was actually 'Auditory processing Disorder' related to that..this caused a lot of confusion and some in the deaf community to reject me..cos I wasn't 'pure deaf' even though I could sign as well as them.


Moving back into the 'hearing world' after uni where everyone else was hearing I lost my 'deaf identity' and discovered my 'autistic identity'


I then saw myself for years as a hearing person with autism and APD (Auditory Processing Disorder), although as I've aged I have lost more high frequency in my right ear which is the one giving me the constant Tinnitus if I don't put the hearing aid in with the T program on.


I did wonder if I had multiple personalities for a while I had read about it but was unsure as I know I tend to take things very literally and cos I felt like I'd 'become a different person' switching between hearing to deaf to autistic (or accepting each) it did confuse me for quite a while!


Accepting I could have all those things together and still be one person has taken a while to work through!

@InkyTinks - I'm so sorry you struggled with all of that! I hope you are able to get your auditory symptoms managed well. I'm sorry you struggled with so much!

You sound like you understand multiple personalities.

Many people dissociate within a normal range of dissociation (like missing the exit on the freeway, or when your mind wanders when someone is having a conversation with you). And many people have different parts of self (called "ego states"), whereby one part of self may handle work, another part of self may handle household tasks, another part of self my handle social situations, another part of self may handle significant others, and another part of self may handle being a parent. I've heard the term "multiplicity" used, but it is different from DID. DID = dissociative identity disorder, which used to be called MPD = multiple personality disorder. The two or more distinct personalities have amnesiac barriers to the main person (or the host person or the original person or whatever it is they are calling these days to denote the person who was born first). Over time, those amnesiac barriers are weakened, especially as different parts of self (whether they be dissociated alternate personalities - or "alters," or whether they be "ego states") become more and more familiar with the host person and vice versa. Some awareness occurs when the host person realizes that losing time isn't "normal," and such blackouts are caused by dissociation.

There are other forms of dissociation that may not quite meet the diagnosis of DID, such as depersonalization, derealization, dissociative fugue, and the former "not otherwise specified" (NOS), which is now called something different. Some people argue that there are degrees of DID, and just like the deaf rejecting others who are not the same kind of deaf, there are those in the DID community who differentiate themselves between "true DID" and "NOS" or some other form of DID (such as polyfragmented DID, whereby some people assert that polyfragmented is not "true DID").

My T, however, doesn't differentiate that because the treatment is similar, and the goals for treatment are similar - to be co-conscious. Some people may want to integrate, fuse, or whatever they are calling it these days, but it's not a requirement for recovery and healing. Processing difficult emotions, challenging trauma memories, and problem behaviors requires that the personalities work together through internal family systems (IFS) coping, which is simply just having the personalities communicate with one another.

And even for those who don't have DID, but do dissociate in some other way, such as those with PTSD and dissociation, IFS can still be used for things like the "inner child" or other ego states that affect a survivor of trauma.

We still use the coping skills while also using IFS, such as when we use grounding techniques or CBT to help us cope.

Our T helps us reframe the things we struggle with as a whole, since one personality will affect the entire system of personalities, including the host person. In a similar vein, those with dissociation will struggle when one aspect or part of self is in disagreement with another part of self (such as being indecisive or ambivalent or having black-and-white thinking), or when one aspect of self will trigger another aspect of self, thereby causing emotional storms to surface. Being able to go within and speak internally with the different parts help me to remain co-conscious and proactive (as opposed to reactive). It's not always easy, but it works over time and practice.

I hope you feel better.

I wouldn't really say I understood it.

I think what you call 'ego states' maybe more similar to autistic masking, or maybe masking is somewhere in between... a bit more intense and exhausting than a neurotypical person's 'ego states' but not on the same level as a completely other personality??? ...more a different version of 'self'.

I have never had amnesia between situations but would be 'someone else' in college or at work and then different again when alone or when going home for the weekend. I'd always be exhausted when I did get chance to be alone but I lived with others (flat share etc) when younger so rarely got chance to 'remove the mask'!


For me though I think it was a case of not understanding that I was autistic when I was younger, thinking very literally and not being able to explain my symptoms well. I tended to freeze then struggle to speak when people were awaiting a reply in a time pressured situation. People would try to guess what I was trying to say and to get it over with quicker I'd just agree!

There was no Dr Google, home computers or communication aids when I was young! (Trained on electric typewriter and Apple word processor when I as at college lol...no internet!)


I think my 'secret self' was because I was just very shy and phobic in the real world, hated having to do things while being watched, the anxiety would be so extreme I couldn't do it but could when alone so for example ..homework was always much better standard than classwork and I'd get accused of cheating or pretending I couldn't do things.

It's known as Exposure Anxiety in regards to Autism or used to be (not sure what term they use now) but I was in my 40's before I discovered and actually understood the complexities of being autistic!

@InkyTinks - Thank you for explaining autism to me. I had no idea. There seems to be some parallels with autism and DID, but now I can see the difference. I had no idea it was called "masking." For me, it's dissociating, or losing time when another part of self takes over. But for you, it sounds like you feel like different people at different times, but you're still you. Is that correct? I apologize for not understanding autism that well, but I'm learning a lot from our conversations.

I struggle with socializing sometimes, but sometimes I'm also a social butterfly. It depends. I get shy very easily though, but I have parts that can be tough. I'm all over the place with personalities.

I'm sorry you struggle with socialization. That must be tough.

Is there a lot of anxiety involved with autism?

For me personally yes..a lot of anxiety but only relating to people, crowded places etc.


At home I'm fine and can take my dog out we like to go out when its quiet but like..an appointment coming through the post would trigger panic.



If I can get out of it by making an excuse via email I will!...if not I'd have to gt family to take me and they'd do all the talking.


I used to have more confidence when I saw myself as my 'deaf version of me' and could get interpreters but I was fully mobile then and could cope with public transport as long as I had my walkman with me.

As a wheelchair user I'm forced to ask for help to get in and out of transport and communicate with people..and with covid and mask wearing and this Omicron being more infectious ..(our cases have gone up 65% in a couple of days..govt has raised covid alert level and PM making a speech on national TV tonight!) ..the thought of a stranger having to get close enough to physically assist me ...is enough to trigger panic tbh!



I'm still waiting for the Home Visit Booster Jab! ..so have only had 2.. last one over 6 months ago now!

Perimenopause could also be making panic more intense ..if it can make non-autistic women panic ..who were never previously panicky people ...then the effects are gonna be 10 fold on someone who already gets anxious very quickly!

On the plus side I can quickly lose myself in my own world getting immersed in video games to de-stress!

Doesn't having DID make you anxious? ..not knowing who will 'take over'?

Yes, DID does make me anxious, as well as my alters. Sometimes we don't agree on who's out and who does what. That's where IFS coping comes in. IFS = internal family systems, where I have a conversation with my alters. We try to find consensus among one another.

In reality, it all has to do with our traumas, and what feels safe to do, what feels less constricting and what feels less triggering. Sometimes our triggers clash because we've all experienced different traumas.

I know, in reality, that I, being the main person, experienced all this stuff. That's the theory behind my needing alters. But I honestly feel like it's still the alters' traumas and not my own. I only see bits and pieces, but when I see more, that's when I have body memories, nightmares, panic, and a bunch of other emotional storms that make me feel like I'm going to die and that I'm reliving someone else's nightmare - only, it's supposedly my own. I start feeling what the other alters feel, and it sucks. It's like empathy run amok from me to the alters. But the alters seem to know how I feel. They have empathy for me. Not all the time, but sometimes. They catch on to therapy before I do sometimes.

I have more control because I share my time with my alters now. I learn to be co-conscious with them, which is to say that I learn to manage my dissociation by facing my fears and dealing with one small trauma at a time - in bits and pieces (not in full flashbacks). Sometimes I do have flashbacks though, and it's both mentally and physically painful for me.

My T really helps me and my alters to get along.

I did have a scare yesterday, when my alters went out walking. But they kept the mask on, they kept their distance from others, and they limited their time to less than 30 minutes.

I'm suffering today with CFS/ME because of post-exertional malaise, and so it has me both bedbound and homebound. This will last today and maybe through tomorrow. We'll see. I need to rest in order for it to heal faster, but it's hard for me to rest.

Anyway, I am sorry you struggle with your own types of issues going outside and being in a wheelchair and having to ask for help when it may not be safe to do so during a pandemic.

I hope you can get your booster soon. I honestly think that everyone should be boosted at the 4-month mark, since the vaccines wane every 4 to 5 months, with the heaviest decline in efficacy from 6 months on forward. But there isn't enough funding, supplies, delivery professionals (drivers), taxpayer dollars, and resources to make that happen. It's hard enough getting the world vaccinated with even their first doses let alone getting the richer countries like ours boosted. Perhaps there's some invisible order to things, and that is why there are some holdouts, hesitant persons, and outright antivaxxers who refuse vaccines and/or their 2nd shot in a two-shot series. There are also those who are allergic to the vaccines and cannot take them, so they are the ones who are not taking the vaccines or who had a bad reaction to the first vaccine and could therefore not qualify to take any future vaccines. Their best bet are masks, social isolation/distancing, and post-Covid treatments, if they can survive it.

I do NOT believe in the statement that everyone will eventually get Covid. That's not true. Everyone may be exposed to the virus SARS-CoV-2, but it may not be a big enough dose to get the disease, COVID-19. That's why masks work; it's not to completely eradicate the virus from entering, but it's enough to reduce the dosage of virus that we inhale (or that we exhale if we are asymptomatic or symptomatic). So, for even those who cannot vaccinate, they can at least social distance by at least 6 feet away, limit their nonessential travels and local outings, and wear masks when they feel the urge to socialize, travel, etc. They can at least stay home if they are ill with anything, including a cold or the flu, since a pandemic might mean that Covid patients get priority over non-Covid patients, so that puts the immunocompromised, the disabled, and the elderly at higher risk of dying from non-Covid illnesses during a pandemic. If this wasn't a pandemic, then we wouldn't need as many precautions. But this pandemic affects not only Covid-19 spread, but also the repercussions of disease spread, accidents while driving or taking risky trips such as mountain climbing or hiking on risky trails or mountain biking, etc. It's about minimizing your own personal risk from not being seen at a busy ER filled with Covid patients.

Anyways, it's good to see some people using their own judgment to balance their risk tolerance with what they do in life, and to also consider mental health in that balance.

I may have OCD, but I also know that I cannot live this way forever. I hate that I put myself on lockdown, and that I gained weight, and that I'm afraid to go outside, and that my PTSD and DID have worsened. I have to balance my fears with what is also good for my mental and physical health, whilst also dealing with the risk factors of Covid. So that will mean going for walks while masked, or socializing online or outside in person while socially distanced and masked (if outside or indoors in shared air space), etc. I will maintain shopping solely online though; I was doing that before the pandemic, and I continue to do that now - only, they cater to in-store buyers because the online items remain limited. It's not fair because they also discriminate inadvertently to the elderly, disabled, and homebound persons who truly cannot physically go to the store, as well as to people without vehicles to do curbside pickups, etc. It's too risky to take public transportation, and it's also too risky for some to enter public spaces indoors.

Anyway, I'm rambling now, when I should be napping.