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ThunderGoddess
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Default Dec 03, 2021 at 04:24 PM
  #1
I've been thinking a lot about mental health care and I've tried to talk to my therapist about this and I pissed her off to the point where she actually said that maybe she can't treat me anymore. I said sorry you feel that way and she scheduled me for next week anyway, I think she actually felt bad after the whole thing was said and done because what I said was logical.

I feel like the only thing I need help with is employment issues. I've been in therapy with different therapists/psychiatrists/programs for a total of 8 years. And I informed my therapist that I do still have negative thoughts that I will not go into detail about but that is just my life and I know how to cope with them and I don't need to talk about it I just wanted to let her know that I'm not as high-functioning as she thinks I am. I still have severe symptoms that I deal with on a regular basis.

Anyway she went into a spiral that made no sense to me and I told her so you only want to treat me if I have 1,000 problems so where does that leave me when I feel like I'm nearing the end of therapy and I just need help with one more thing.

I don't want to be in therapy for the rest of my life. I want to be accepted for who I am with the current symptoms I have leftover after years of treatment. So I wonder why don't we have end dates to therapy and why don't we have guidance or programs for life after therapy?

It seems like I'm constantly told I'll have symptoms for the rest of my life but yet I'm treated as if I'll somehow be cured if I spend decades of my life in therapy.

Does anyone else relate?

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Default Dec 08, 2021 at 07:58 AM
  #2
Even if I'm completely cured some how I will still see a therapist just as a check in maybe down to 3-4x a year. It's just the nature of my illness. My goal is to get down to 3 x a year. Right now I'm w/o a therapist. I've come a long way. My pdoc use to tell me that it's not about how much souport you need ( or don't) it's about quality of life. For me if I was still having negative thoughts I'd have to work on that. It's not about how much your symptoms effect others which seems to be where you might be but how content we are. How much we can sit and just be and breathe. When our problems become ant hills, speed bumps that we can just shake are heads and go that's f'd up but don't feel anything more then that.

If you when you feel ready start moving your appointments out. Every 2 weeks, then every 3 weeks, then every 4, then 6 weeks, 8 weeks, 10 weeks then 12. I would move it back every 3rd appointment. That way if ***** does hit the fan I can call for an emergency appointment. And then slowly taper again. Will I be in therapy my whole life probably but I'll be less frequent and look different. Will I ever hold a full time job? Probably not but I'm still working towards it.

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Default Dec 08, 2021 at 06:44 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom View Post
Even if I'm completely cured some how I will still see a therapist just as a check in maybe down to 3-4x a year. It's just the nature of my illness. My goal is to get down to 3 x a year. Right now I'm w/o a therapist. I've come a long way. My pdoc use to tell me that it's not about how much souport you need ( or don't) it's about quality of life. For me if I was still having negative thoughts I'd have to work on that. It's not about how much your symptoms effect others which seems to be where you might be but how content we are. How much we can sit and just be and breathe. When our problems become ant hills, speed bumps that we can just shake are heads and go that's f'd up but don't feel anything more then that.

If you when you feel ready start moving your appointments out. Every 2 weeks, then every 3 weeks, then every 4, then 6 weeks, 8 weeks, 10 weeks then 12. I would move it back every 3rd appointment. That way if ***** does hit the fan I can call for an emergency appointment. And then slowly taper again. Will I be in therapy my whole life probably but I'll be less frequent and look different. Will I ever hold a full time job? Probably not but I'm still working towards it.
That is the thing I do feel content with even with the negative thoughts it doesn't affect me in my home life that's why I don't feel it's necessary to bring it up in therapy. I struggle while I'm working the most which is why I don't feel I should be labeled "high functioning" when I'm 34 and have had one long term job in my life.

I think a lot of the time online and in my life I should more aggressive and upset than I actually am because I have a lot of passion when I talk about things I believe in. I don't feel upset about feeling negative things it's just a part of my life. I just want to be able to get a job to be honest about the accommodations I need upfront because I'm extremely particular about scheduling I can't handle not knowing my schedule it throws off everything for me but my therapist wants me to hide that I need accommodations until after they give me the offer but I don't feel I can honestly accept an offer if I don't know the exact schedule because even if I need to request accommodations they're going to have me work whatever schedule they want until the request is processed.

I recently learned about job placement organizations for people with disabilities and I'm only going to look for jobs through them from now on because it's not fair that I have to pretend to be something I'm not because of fear of discrimination which is why my therapists tell me not to say anything because they'll discriminate.

But either way, I don't want to be in therapy forever whether I can work again or not if therapists were less egomaniacal I'd be fine but they all want to micromanage my life and I'm just not here for it. I'm a very content person I exercise, meditate, have hobbies, live with a wonderful husband and pets, have a close supportive family, I'm really lucky I just have some **** I deal with sometimes and for me that's okay I just cope with my skills and move on but when I'm working and my **** comes up and my employer doesn't know about my **** that's when I quit because I'm not allowed to take the time and space I need to cope and it's especially impossible without a set schedule and limited hours and coworkers making fun of me because I'm particular about wearing gloves while touching animal blood or dirty ears etc. I'm made fun of all the time at work because I'm different and it's very stressful.

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Default Dec 11, 2021 at 10:05 AM
  #4
Thanks for sharing this. I have not found the professionals in this area to be honest, or if they are, they are brutally ''honest'' which makes it a lie. I think the truth is, they know less about us than we credit them for, much of the time. We are the Experts on US, even if we have seen the same therapist for 3 years or more. In this area many (most) therapists discharge earlier than this even if therapy is needed.

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Default Dec 11, 2021 at 11:20 AM
  #5
I did therapy for years with a number of different therapists and never felt that I made any real progress. I quit about 5 or 6 years ago and never went back.

Honestly, I find peer support groups for people with mental health issues much more beneficial. I like knowing I'm not alone and talking to people who really understand. I feel like a lot of therapists were bewildered by me. Another bonus is most of the peer support groups are free or low cost. And there are a lot available virtually.

As far as making changes in my own life, I joined Overeaters Anonymous, and the 12 steps made a much bigger difference than years of therapy. I learned to take responsibility for my own actions and just focus on what I can control (myself). Thanks to the 12 steps, these pandemic years have been the most emotionally stable of my entire life. I have found that outside circumstances have little effect on me. Once I did the inner work, I can feel ok no matter what the circumstances. And I didn't need a therapist for the inner work.
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Default Dec 11, 2021 at 11:41 AM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThunderGoddess View Post
I've been thinking a lot about mental health care and I've tried to talk to my therapist about this and I pissed her off to the point where she actually said that maybe she can't treat me anymore. I said sorry you feel that way and she scheduled me for next week anyway, I think she actually felt bad after the whole thing was said and done because what I said was logical.

I feel like the only thing I need help with is employment issues. I've been in therapy with different therapists/psychiatrists/programs for a total of 8 years. And I informed my therapist that I do still have negative thoughts that I will not go into detail about but that is just my life and I know how to cope with them and I don't need to talk about it I just wanted to let her know that I'm not as high-functioning as she thinks I am. I still have severe symptoms that I deal with on a regular basis.

Anyway she went into a spiral that made no sense to me and I told her so you only want to treat me if I have 1,000 problems so where does that leave me when I feel like I'm nearing the end of therapy and I just need help with one more thing.

I don't want to be in therapy for the rest of my life. I want to be accepted for who I am with the current symptoms I have leftover after years of treatment. So I wonder why don't we have end dates to therapy and why don't we have guidance or programs for life after therapy?

It seems like I'm constantly told I'll have symptoms for the rest of my life but yet I'm treated as if I'll somehow be cured if I spend decades of my life in therapy.

Does anyone else relate?

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Default Dec 11, 2021 at 02:37 PM
  #7
I think therapy is bull****. I have been to many different therapists in my time and have only found one to be beneficial - and that turned into couples therapy for me and my now wife dealing with how to live a happy life despite (or with) my illness.

I would like to note (not to discredit your feelings or opinions in anyway) that everyone has negative thoughts. It's whether those thoughts affect your actions in a negative way. They are never going away no matter how many people you talk to about them. Same as a mental illness. No matter how many meds you take or how effective they are at controlling your symptoms, that's all they are doing - controlling your symptoms. It will always be there waiting to strike from the shadows. There is no cure.

Therapy might be useful to you and more power to you if it is. Have you thought about journaling? I journal at least one page in a moleskine every morning before I do anything else. It clears my head of things I might worry about for the rest of the day. It is my opinion that no one is more qualified to deal with our own thoughts than ourselves.

Also - don't believe everything that you think.
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