[black-roses]

I can't sleep I've been thinking of my teacher that desire of him being with me. Sleeping next to me in bed. Like I just feel so weird like I don't want to feel this way I know he's a teacher I'm a student it would be wrong even if I am turning 26. I wish it wasn't like this. I wish I could tell him I mean even if I got rejected. Sometimes I just wish something would go my way but life has it plans I guess I gotta keep it in gods hands or whoever's hands it is. If there's a way that maybe it's meant to be or he feels the same I won't have to worry. Anyway I feel so sad that I feel this way, and like honestly I didn't understand it when I first started getting butterflies everytime I saw him I thought it was OCD. I was fearing that I was getting a new obsession but I don't think it's OCD because I go on with my life and I'm fine but I never thought, I'd have these romantic feelings. It's also makes me think that all the other relationships I had in the past wasn't true love because this is a completely foreign feeling..it's not based on neediness I don't feel like I need him, I feel like I want him pure and simple. It's just a bit hard to process to be honest. Just realizing that everything I had is completely upside down just makes me realize that like I wasn't as aware of myself as I am now. I guess thats a good thing that I'm more aware. I I just hope that this feeling is longing in my heart stops being so painful because I truly just want to tell him the truth even though it's freaking scary. I just can't look at him knowing that I have this itchy feeling the way I pretend to hate him but I had to do that. If I pretended I hated him I wouldn't have to face the truth and that's what hard. So I have to say that feelings do suck sometimes.

[sarahsweets]

Do you have a therapist and can you switch out of his class into a different one?

[Fuzzybear]

[downandlonely]

Feelings do suck sometimes.

I wonder if one of the reasons you're attracted to him is because it's forbidden. That can be exciting sometimes.

I've often had crushes on unsuitable people (teachers, men in relationships, gay men, etc.) I think subconsciously I had crushes on these people because I was scared of having an actual relationship, so I fixated on men I couldn't have.

[Marie123]

Feelings aren't right or wrong, they simply.....are...I fell in love with a man who wasn't available....20 years later my feelings haven't changed.....I had to live with that so I understand how painful that is. Unfortunately, this man led me on, so I had to deal with feelings of anger, also.