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Default Dec 03, 2021 at 04:52 PM
  #1
Any others going through the menopause?


I'm in peri haven't gone 12 months without a monthly cycle yet - longest time has been 5 months so far.


Looking back though I have had symptoms for years... had bladder issues in my 40's, depression, struggling with losing my temper or having meltdowns over the tiniest thing



Now I seem to have moved on a stage and despite a worsening of the Tinnitus, which I'm not completely sure whether thats down to menopause or not (though have heard from women who never had it until they hit peri-menopause and its related to any loss of hearing)..I seem to be more in touch with who I feel I really am as haven't had to mask for so long (due to shielding).


I do feel like my personality has changed. I'm not sure if this is normal in the menopause or whether its another mental health issue?


Will I stay in this frame of mind now or will it change again as I go further into the menopause?


Has anyone come out the other side?? (ie post-menopause) did your personality change completely and did you stay that way, as your 'new you'?

As an autistic woman and also cos my own mum died before she reached menopause (many years ago) no-one has ever explained it to me or prepared me for 'the change'.
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Default Dec 05, 2021 at 06:31 PM
  #2
There isn't enough discussion about menopause. Good for you for bringing it up.


I'll be 59 this month; I went through menopause at age 54. I believe I was in peri-menopause at about age 48. All of my mental health symptoms became worse with menopause. I've never had even one medical provider (including pdocs) so much as mention menopause. My personality didn't change completely, but it did change somewhat.

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Default Dec 05, 2021 at 06:39 PM
  #3
I think I'm about 10 years away from menopause, but it terrifies me. The hormones seemed to literally make my mom crazy. She wasn't diagnosed with bipolar until she was in her 50s and in menopause. People really don't talk enough about the psychological effects of menopause. I'm not so worried about physical issues like hot flashes, but I'm really worried about the psychiatric problems.
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Default Dec 05, 2021 at 07:38 PM
  #4
I brought it up under women's health.

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Default Dec 06, 2021 at 08:40 AM
  #5
I agree it isn't discussed enough so there are a lot of myths around.

I may have also posted on the women's health thread, so apologies if I'm repeating myself.

Whilst we inherit some things from our mothers, your experience could be different to hers. Both my mother and aunt (who are sisters) had difficulties, yet I had a much easier time. It could be just having a different mindset. After all, they grew up in a time when menstruation was called "the curse".

Yes, I have changed. I do have hearing problems, could be described a tinnitus. Also cannot sleep through the night. The main change for me has been an awakening to people and attitudes. No longer am I a "doormat". Perhaps it's attributable to age/experience but if a group of people say "me too" then there's more pointers towards psychological changes. I don't shout/lose temper but swear privately. I think I'm different but it could be the freedom factor (no pregnancy risk, etc)
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Default Dec 06, 2021 at 03:20 PM
  #6
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Originally Posted by Aviza View Post
I brought it up under women's health.


oh I'll see if I can find it...is women's health it' s own forum or comes under another?



Edited to add.. just looked down all the underlined headings and can't see one called "Women's Health'??
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Default Dec 06, 2021 at 11:53 PM
  #7
Menopause didn’t effect my mental health or my moods but it effected physical aspects of my health.
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Default Dec 07, 2021 at 09:01 AM
  #8
When I was going through menopause, my mental health symptoms definitely got worse and were more volatile.

However now post menopause, I'm feeling a lot more stable, and my mood is better than it was when I was first Dx;d. I've been able to go off one med completely, and reduce another.

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Default Dec 07, 2021 at 01:47 PM
  #9
Honestly, my mental health improved as i went into perimenopause and menopause. Some of it was just maturity/life experience and getting beyond my issues through therapy prior to perimenopause. Not sure if the improvement really is related to menopause - I worked hard to get to this place of stability. I've probably never been more stable than I am now.

Physically, I still deal with the hot flashes and night sweats even though I've been fully in menopause for 4 years. Sleeping can be sporadic (mostly because of the night sweats). Weight is sort of stagnant - can't seem to make much headway in losing even with exercise and decent diet.

I've always had tinnitus, and I haven't particularly noticed a change that I can't attribute to allergies, etc.
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Default Dec 07, 2021 at 03:53 PM
  #10
When I was around 51 I became septic and burnt out my hormones I never had peri menopause. I had less than a year of hot flashes but that was really the only symptom I had. Since post menopause I’ve had wonderful stability and haven’t had those ugly hormone changes every month. The only post menopause symptoms is not being able to sleep though the night, weight around my waist and dry, dry skin. Emotionally I’m more stable than I’ve ever been.

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Default Dec 07, 2021 at 05:42 PM
  #11
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Originally Posted by InkyTinks View Post
oh I'll see if I can find it...is women's health it' s own forum or comes under another?

Edited to add.. just looked down all the underlined headings and can't see one called "Women's Health'??

It's called 'Women-Focused Support.'

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Default Dec 07, 2021 at 05:50 PM
  #12
I did have my Mom long enough to witness her peri- and full menopausal symptoms. She discussed some of them with me. Sadly, however, we lost her to cancer at 53, so further discussion and wise woman conversations never had a chance to take place.

Her experience actually involved an onset of generalized anxiety disorder, and serious sleep problems, which she didn't know much about and which pretty much terrified her. She coped with it by self-medicating with alcohol, as she had done with most stressful situations in her life. I tried not to judge her for this, because the fear and dread filled her eyes. I think her doctor pretty much brushed it all off, as they did in those days (and some still do!) regarding women's health concerns. I just tried to be more available for her, and anticipate her needs a bit better (I was in my twenties, and preparing to head off to college, with her full blessing and insistence, after having worked a few years). Dad was off working on the road a lot, and my sister and brother were simply too self-absorbed at that point to be there for her.

I felt awful leaving her in that state, but she was adamant I carry on with my plans, as I had stuck to our agreement and was already 2+ years behind my peers for hitting campus.

Fast-forward to my own experience with peri- and full-blown menopause, and I found myself experiencing the exact same symptoms. I had terrible attacks of palpitations and heavy perspiration suddenly--- at work, which was distressing, but also out of nowhere, in the peace & quiet of my own home; sleep became just a fond memory of something I had previously enjoyed my whole life; and a desire to medicate with alcohol, which I had never turned to, or been tempted by, ever before. Medical professionals were amazingly blase' about my questions and concerns. I began to have difficulty making decisions, which was new for me. I suspected perhaps something deeper was going on, but had no measure by which to judge it. I found myself isolating more and more, to simply avoid stress.

Even when my anxiety and sleeplessness were becoming very powerful, ruling my days and nights, I did not catch on that it might actually be me sliding into depression. I kept trying to treat everything with exercise, diet, keeping busy, as well as using homeopathic treatments. But I continued to develop some worrying symptoms, and telling myself it was all menopause.

Subsequently, with no older women in my life with whom I could frankly discuss these things (and out of a fear of being laughed out of a doctor's office), it took me awhile to get my GAD and MDD diagnosed, and my menopause also took years to finally wrap up. They kind of walked together for a long time. So, separating the threads and understanding what-happened-when, and how, has been mostly down to hindsight. I could never make distinctions between the two, at the time I was going through it.

I don't think either one affected my personality that much, as I've always strived to not allow personal struggles to affect someone else's existence, as much as humanly possible. But I did lose myself in the low energy lethargy trap, which was very different from my former self. Mostly, I've become a recluse who would desperately like to re-build as much of my former wellness as I can; because when I became ill, I was fit, had plenty of money to support myself, and was in the prime of my life (late 30's). I had no other ongoing health concerns. I had also just met the man I would marry, and had big dreams for our life together, as well. There was no "one cause" for my depression or anxiety. I believe it to have been inherited.

I think it will be years before the medical complex will have answers for so many of women's actual real life concerns. I have seen hormonal changes bring about gigantic changes in women's lives. And yet, there doesn't seem to be much of a mandate, still, for doctors to help with this life-altering fact for so many women. I am sorry to say it will still take years and years for this to change.

Hoping your med pros are more sympathetic than mine and my mom's....

Last edited by MuseumGhost; Dec 07, 2021 at 06:11 PM..
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Default Dec 08, 2021 at 04:35 AM
  #13
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Originally Posted by splitimage View Post
When I was going through menopause, my mental health symptoms definitely got worse and were more volatile.

However now post menopause, I'm feeling a lot more stable, and my mood is better than it was when I was first Dx;d. I've been able to go off one med completely, and reduce another.


That's good to know..my mood swings have been so severe sometimes I was getting convinced I had multiple personalities inside me!

Things tend to calm down if I don't have a period for several months..I've gone 4-5 months without one (didnt write down the dates unfortunately)


My memory is bad and as someone who had an almost photographic memory for something's as child that has been quite scary and wondered several times if I was developing dementia and it was been masked by menopause symptoms.



I am not on any meds though for moods or HRT. They won't let you take HRT forever anyway and I was worried about the stroke risk having already had one blood clot and the breast cancer risk (due to family history).


I do NOT want to have to be in hospital for months (due to a stroke) or having to go regularly for cancer treatments in the middle of a pandemic.


So far I have avoided all appointments in person (other than being vaccinated) and have managed to not get covid at all. I really don't need that on top of everything else I'm trying to deal with!
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Default Dec 08, 2021 at 04:47 AM
  #14
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Originally Posted by MuseumGhost View Post
I did have my Mom long enough to witness her peri- and full menopausal symptoms. She discussed some of them with me. Sadly, however, we lost her to cancer at 53, so further discussion and wise woman conversations never had a chance to take place.

Her experience actually involved an onset of generalized anxiety disorder, and serious sleep problems, which she didn't know much about and which pretty much terrified her. She coped with it by self-medicating with alcohol, as she had done with most stressful situations in her life. I tried not to judge her for this, because the fear and dread filled her eyes. I think her doctor pretty much brushed it all off, as they did in those days (and some still do!) regarding women's health concerns. I just tried to be more available for her, and anticipate her needs a bit better (I was in my twenties, and preparing to head off to college, with her full blessing and insistence, after having worked a few years). Dad was off working on the road a lot, and my sister and brother were simply too self-absorbed at that point to be there for her.

I felt awful leaving her in that state, but she was adamant I carry on with my plans, as I had stuck to our agreement and was already 2+ years behind my peers for hitting campus.

Fast-forward to my own experience with peri- and full-blown menopause, and I found myself experiencing the exact same symptoms. I had terrible attacks of palpitations and heavy perspiration suddenly--- at work, which was distressing, but also out of nowhere, in the peace & quiet of my own home; sleep became just a fond memory of something I had previously enjoyed my whole life; and a desire to medicate with alcohol, which I had never turned to, or been tempted by, ever before. Medical professionals were amazingly blase' about my questions and concerns. I began to have difficulty making decisions, which was new for me. I suspected perhaps something deeper was going on, but had no measure by which to judge it. I found myself isolating more and more, to simply avoid stress.

Even when my anxiety and sleeplessness were becoming very powerful, ruling my days and nights, I did not catch on that it might actually be me sliding into depression. I kept trying to treat everything with exercise, diet, keeping busy, as well as using homeopathic treatments. But I continued to develop some worrying symptoms, and telling myself it was all menopause.

Subsequently, with no older women in my life with whom I could frankly discuss these things (and out of a fear of being laughed out of a doctor's office), it took me awhile to get my GAD and MDD diagnosed, and my menopause also took years to finally wrap up. They kind of walked together for a long time. So, separating the threads and understanding what-happened-when, and how, has been mostly down to hindsight. I could never make distinctions between the two, at the time I was going through it.

I don't think either one affected my personality that much, as I've always strived to not allow personal struggles to affect someone else's existence, as much as humanly possible. But I did lose myself in the low energy lethargy trap, which was very different from my former self. Mostly, I've become a recluse who would desperately like to re-build as much of my former wellness as I can; because when I became ill, I was fit, had plenty of money to support myself, and was in the prime of my life (late 30's). I had no other ongoing health concerns. I had also just met the man I would marry, and had big dreams for our life together, as well. There was no "one cause" for my depression or anxiety. I believe it to have been inherited.

I think it will be years before the medical complex will have answers for so many of women's actual real life concerns. I have seen hormonal changes bring about gigantic changes in women's lives. And yet, there doesn't seem to be much of a mandate, still, for doctors to help with this life-altering fact for so many women. I am sorry to say it will still take years and years for this to change.

Hoping your med pros are more sympathetic than mine and my mom's....

unfortunately they aren't. Despite knowing about my autism, mobility issues and communication difficulties I got told they'd get round to me when they got to me for the home visit for booster.

They refuse to discuss anything else unless in person knowing that I won't go to the surgery!



Unfortunately as I live in a village some distance from the nearest city and no car, they are the only GP surgery near me.


To register elsewhere I'd have to go in person and have the same difficulties with face-to-face communication. They don't even have clear face masks despite knowing I'm deaf, they just pull them down to talk to me (breathing covid particles all over me!)

By the end of this next spring I won't have seen anyone other than my sibling for 2 years to socialise with.
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Default Dec 09, 2021 at 02:13 PM
  #15
Inky, I'm so sorry. I had to deal with all of this alone, myself, too.

On top of that, the first GP I had here in Canada was a nightmare woman who is clearly never going to win any Albert Schweitzer awards for Humanitarianism.

Your post has really got me thinking. I have seen links between menopause and mental health concerns myself. Many acquaintances developed issues in their 40's and 50's. The vast majority of them were absolutely minor (though frightening, as they were new to these people) and treatable, or were situations that would remedy themselves once menopause wrapped itself up. Hormones, or their sudden absence, can be very powerful things.

Perhaps try and journal, and keep a written record of your symptoms. If you can see patterns happening, it's easier to nail down what the cause might be when you do get to see a medical professional.

Memory challenges can come with depression, too. This was very very upsetting to me. I also, terrifyingly, suffered cognitive slowing, and was horribly worried I would lose certain parts of myself forever when I was undiagnosed. The medication I finally received helped, but very, very slowly; and I'm relieved to say I've gotten a good part of myself back, but the pace was glacial, in my experience. Thank goodness I made wonderful, understanding friends who helped me enormously through this time.

The Internet did also practically save my life and sanity several times. There is a wealth of info there on legit medical sites.

Please do stay safe! I completely understand your Covid concerns. I have skipped having other, minor (but still worrisome) things seen to---I think an awful lot of people have. You are definitely not alone in this!

This is a good, secure place to glean info; but sadly, the Boards are nowhere near as lively as they used to be. But good people still do care!

Feel free to PM me, anytime you'd like. I'll happily help as much as I can.

Last edited by MuseumGhost; Dec 09, 2021 at 03:14 PM..
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Default Dec 09, 2021 at 05:14 PM
  #16
That just got me to thinking my Mom's memory has been really bad since menopause (although maybe the anti-psychotics are a factor too). She doesn't remember books she's read or movies she's seen. She also doesn't seem to remember much from my childhood.
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Default Dec 11, 2021 at 11:49 AM
  #17
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Originally Posted by MuseumGhost View Post
Inky, I'm so sorry. I had to deal with all of this alone, myself, too.

On top of that, the first GP I had here in Canada was a nightmare woman who is clearly never going to win any Albert Schweitzer awards for Humanitarianism.

Your post has really got me thinking. I have seen links between menopause and mental health concerns myself. Many acquaintances developed issues in their 40's and 50's. The vast majority of them were absolutely minor (though frightening, as they were new to these people) and treatable, or were situations that would remedy themselves once menopause wrapped itself up. Hormones, or their sudden absence, can be very powerful things.

Perhaps try and journal, and keep a written record of your symptoms. If you can see patterns happening, it's easier to nail down what the cause might be when you do get to see a medical professional.

Memory challenges can come with depression, too. This was very very upsetting to me. I also, terrifyingly, suffered cognitive slowing, and was horribly worried I would lose certain parts of myself forever when I was undiagnosed. The medication I finally received helped, but very, very slowly; and I'm relieved to say I've gotten a good part of myself back, but the pace was glacial, in my experience. Thank goodness I made wonderful, understanding friends who helped me enormously through this time.

The Internet did also practically save my life and sanity several times. There is a wealth of info there on legit medical sites.

Please do stay safe! I completely understand your Covid concerns. I have skipped having other, minor (but still worrisome) things seen to---I think an awful lot of people have. You are definitely not alone in this!

This is a good, secure place to glean info; but sadly, the Boards are nowhere near as lively as they used to be. But good people still do care!

Feel free to PM me, anytime you'd like. I'll happily help as much as I can.

Thank you!


I had a stiff neck since Friday which tends to aggravate the Tinnitus but it has been much better today so hoping to catch up on some sleep tonight!

Hopefully they'll get round to me before xmas!
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Default Dec 11, 2021 at 11:55 AM
  #18
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That just got me to thinking my Mom's memory has been really bad since menopause (although maybe the anti-psychotics are a factor too). She doesn't remember books she's read or movies she's seen. She also doesn't seem to remember much from my childhood.


I guess no-one can remember every single book they've read or movie they've seen, maybe just a vague memory that they did see it/read it!


If your mum is on meds they will probably affect memory more especially stuff like anti psychotics.
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Default Dec 11, 2021 at 12:03 PM
  #19
Yeah, maybe I'm judging by too high a standard. I seem to have a better memory than most other people I have met. I remember so much from childhood and the plot and characters of most books and movies.
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Default Dec 12, 2021 at 02:27 PM
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Yeah, maybe I'm judging by too high a standard. I seem to have a better memory than most other people I have met. I remember so much from childhood and the plot and characters of most books and movies.

I'm like that with certain things that turn into 'autistic obsessions' - can go from knowing nothing about a thing to knowing everything about it in a very short time!..usually about 'things' rather than people.
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.