[black-roses]

This is a big thing for me. Honestly I didn't think I was gonna feel like it and those thoughts would come back. I just wish anxiety would stop making me think that it matters what people think. Like a big thing I worry about is not being able to work or be self sufficient and it's like I think when you have a mental illness and your reminded of it by like other people it's hard. Like I wish I could forgot I have those problems. However, I can't turn off that anxiety I feel, that I think to myself I just feel like this blob on a seat and I'm just terrified of being like this forever which I know is anxiety way of like getting me. Making me think it's that hopeless and I do think about it 24/7 I know it's a thought. I just wish I could get to a point where I don't feel scared to do things on my own, to make my own friendships and be independent. However I feel like this and I know that my anxiety is what is really the worst at the moment. As far as my brain I just keep telling myself that I have to keep on trying and I can't stay like this like you can't stay the same forever. Just one day I wish I could go to sleep and not feel this high level of fear.