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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2015
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,554
8 119 hugs
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#1
You know I understand what makes some people want to sleep with lots of people. When I was younger I thought sex with lots of people would take away the empty thing in my heart but what I failed to realize was I wanted true connection. And to my young teenage brain I thought sex was true connection. All I ever wanted was a true male friend. I want a true male guide because I never had a good man there to guide me. And we say we don't need a dad but we do and maybe I am just a girl with daddy issues but that's truly how I felt. I sometimes still feel that way lost and maybe this should be a poem. It's true though.
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Bill3, downandlonely, mote.of.soul, unaluna, Yaowen
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
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6 10.6k hugs
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#2
You are not alone. I think that's common for a lot of young women. And also, men will pretend that they have a true connection with us just to get sex sometimes. It's not easy.
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Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006
(SuperPoster!)
5 192 hugs
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#3
Quote:
I don’t want to put my opinion on your shoulder but: Society has f***ed women. Truly. We are compared constantly. We are expected to not age and do everything in our power to not look older. We are sized up like beef in extreme cases. Particularly for heterosexual women we are basically taught or influenced to hold ourselves against the rulers that are men. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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RoxanneToto
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,981
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12 66.6k hugs
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#4
Honey, the last thing you need is a man to guide you. Really? Do you realize what that will cost you? Is your judgment so poor that you would be willing to hand your freedom over to someone whose judgment a) may be poorer than yours and b) will almost certainly put his own self-interest before yours, just to relieve yourself of having to take responsibility for your own decisions?
I know thats probably how your parents raised you - thats how mine raised me, despite evidence of my intelligence and willingness to work hard, just because they didnt want to burden my future husband with an opinionated wife. Are you ready to give up your opinions? |
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RoxanneToto
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jan 2011
Posts: 574
13 29 hugs
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#5
I think therapy might help to sort out these issues and feelings.
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Bill3
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: England
Posts: 1,692
3 6,991 hugs
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#6
I didn’t need my dad. What children really need is at least one sane parent who shows up consistently. In some cases that is dad, but the majority of cases I’ve seen where one parent does the significant share (or everything) of child rearing, it’s the mother. I barely interacted with my dad unless I couldn’t avoid it once I was into my preteen years, as he wasn’t safe for me to get close to, physically or emotionally (not that he was emotionally available anyway).
There are men willing to be equal partners and be responsible for themselves, but while we’re being real here, they’re not in the majority. Society holds women to higher (and often unfair, sometimes even impossible) standards, also for lesser reward. Of course you feel you need guidance, but I’d look at developing a broader perspective on who to get that from - think more along the lines of “wise elders” who are willing to offer advice without a hidden agenda. |
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black-roses
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2015
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,554
8 119 hugs
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#7
I think most it's a codependent belief that like I just feel like I need someone to like guide or loneliness. When it comes to guys wanting to be even though deep down I want connection the way I feel about guys in general is they make me uncomfortable. It's really hard for me because sometimes I feel like I'm a contradiction the problem is I'm always in my head. I find it hard to be around people I either have no concentration and have to be repeated things. So honestly the way I dealt is online because if I have this deficit of attention I don't have to worry about people judging me. However it has made me lonely. Like on the outside there's all these people with opinions that I'm this and that which like I worry about. So I just felt there's no point because like everyone can see my flaws what is true friendship? I'm not sure I even had that
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Bill3, unaluna
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New Member
Member Since Dec 2021
Location: scottsdale
Posts: 6
2 |
#8
well first are you guided from within your own inner truth?
if so then seeking someone to share life with will become easier you may need to get to know yourself really well first and you can use astrology counseling etc,, I foundthat the harmony of my energetic tendencies to help a lot for that I recommend mayan majix and plug in your birthday I am a guy raised by emotionally codependent unavailable parents and my mom got kicked out of counseling because she did not want to help me get into a career life suited to my god given gifts |
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