Hi. I've had a lot of difficult and painful things on my mind today and lately. This might be related to PMS/PMDD, some.

Also, I'm getting minimal support from a place, for my job search. It keeps coming out of me, there, that I am very afraid of working, because of the bad experiences I have had working long ago, and also my anxiety. I expressed, today, that my therapist might not be equipped enough to help with this. It is so scary to not have her be my therapist. I think I'm pretty attached to her as my therapist. But its possible that its true - that she is no longer a good fit because she might not be able to help me with these issues in the way I need. I'm going to be talking to her about all this tomorrow.

Its also entirely possible that I am not actually ready to work. The woman who was helping to me today kind of implied this, because she gave the option to me, to take a break from them. It seemed to come out of nowhere. But maybe that was her assessment. She put it in my court. And I will let them know next time I see them.

Its not where my mind was, to stop my job search and just get help. So I have to let it sink in, and then I will consider. I am really unenthusiastic about my job search. I do have a phone screening / interview on Thursday, for a job I wanted last year. I am pretty lackluster about it now.

I just started watching Making It, that Amy Poehler crafting show. It's funny, and neat so far, what the crafters are making. I'm eating dinner, and ice cream. I'm totally not going over to my parents house. Too cold, plus their fighting just upsets me.

[Yaowen]

That sounds like a difficult situation. Wish I knew what to say to help. I am glad you are getting some fun and solace from crafting. It is very fun.

[downandlonely]

It can be hard to work in a depressive episode as I know from experience. I hope you can figure out what's best for you.

I avoid my parents too. Even if I'm in a good mood, they can find a way to ruin it. I have to distance myself for my own mental health.

I think my therapist and I are done.

[Bill3]

[bpforever1]

I think if you need to work it is one thing, but if you don't then take your time to find work. I worked for two years straight with no breaks but all I did the second year was pay high taxes in this country. I think work is good for one's self-esteem but the nature and conditions of work are also important. I work off and on, and now am off. I just quit my job and am returning home to the USA. I think work has helped boost my self-confidence since I did well at it. At the same time, it was a drain emotionally and mentally. I am glad to be out-of-work for now. I have been thinking about my next situation though and thought about doing peer counseling. How about you? Can you do peer counseling? All it takes is some training and support. Of course, in my state, I get free training and support. If you also can get free training and support, why not look into peer counseling. You may need a referral from your doctor or case manager, but it is worth a shot.

[downandlonely]

I've thought about being a peer support counselor too. I already facilitate support groups for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). That is a volunteer job though. I think maybe when I retire I'll go for the peer support counselor certificate and do that.

Originally Posted by downandlonely

I've thought about being a peer support counselor too. I already facilitate support groups for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). That is a volunteer job though. I think maybe when I retire I'll go for the peer support counselor certificate and do that.

I think you'd be a good peer supporter.

Originally Posted by bpforever1

I think if you need to work it is one thing, but if you don't then take your time to find work. I worked for two years straight with no breaks but all I did the second year was pay high taxes in this country. I think work is good for one's self-esteem but the nature and conditions of work are also important. I work off and on, and now am off. I just quit my job and am returning home to the USA. I think work has helped boost my self-confidence since I did well at it. At the same time, it was a drain emotionally and mentally. I am glad to be out-of-work for now. I have been thinking about my next situation though and thought about doing peer counseling. How about you? Can you do peer counseling? All it takes is some training and support. Of course, in my state, I get free training and support. If you also can get free training and support, why not look into peer counseling. You may need a referral from your doctor or case manager, but it is worth a shot.

Thanks for this, bpforever. I have been working on my certificate to become a peer in my state, and hope to finish in April. I'm not entirely sure that I would like it, honestly, but maybe someday I will find out.

I agree that working can increase self confidence and give a sense of purpose.

Thank you for reminding me to take my time. Working will open up doors for me. I will be able to live where I want to live, and I won't be discriminated against in some dating situations. But I do have the ability to take my time.

I am continuing to see my therapist, by the way. I think our work together is not done yet.

[downandlonely]

Hope you are ok with the therapist. Maybe if you feel you need something more, you can try looking for another therapist while still seeing this one?

Yes, I'm okay with her. I don't think our work together is finished yet. In terms of processing things from my past and it not being her strong suit, its possible I may need someone else at some point. But I personally haven't decided if I even want to process / how I want to process. It was suggested to me by the job support person that I talk about it lots. But I dunno. I think there's many ways to process and deal w bad experiences. I guess time will tell how long I stay with my T. But yes I'm good with her.

[downandlonely]

I find journaling to help process my past can help sometimes even if I don't share it with anyone. My hands aren't used to handwriting anymore though, so I usually have to type.

I was thinking about writing and journaling too.

[bpforever1]

Originally Posted by WovenGalaxy

Thanks for this, bpforever. I have been working on my certificate to become a peer in my state, and hope to finish in April. I'm not entirely sure that I would like it, honestly, but maybe someday I will find out.

I agree that working can increase self confidence and give a sense of purpose.

Thank you for reminding me to take my time. Working will open up doors for me. I will be able to live where I want to live, and I won't be discriminated against in some dating situations. But I do have the ability to take my time.

Dear WG,

I have dated extensively across all boundaries. Truthfully, I'm not interested in dating anymore. However, here are my tips for dating:
1. Don't disclose your illness
2. Be safe
3.Just take it with a grain of salt
4.Have fun
5. Don't be a door mat
6. Just be yourself
7. Don't date while having symptoms
8. Smile
9. If you do disclose your illness and get rejected, don't take it personally
10. Date only those you like as people

I am done with dating but can tell you that most men are superficial and those on dating sites- mostly are looking for sex.

So, with that in mind, please be safe. And, if you can meet people through meet-ups and other interest groups, these would be better.

[downandlonely]

I've never found the right time to disclose my illness. I've never really been that serious with anyone.

And yes, I second that about dating sites and sex. Although bars are no better.

[Fuzzybear]

Hugs WovenGalaxy!

[Bill3]

Originally Posted by Bill3

I agree!