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lezzah
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Thumbs down Mar 12, 2022 at 08:27 PM
  #1
This whole year my mental health was good and I did not go into a spiral-like I did last year where it was tough. I am trying every day for myself plus I got myself back into school which has been good so far. I am not at the same pace as everyone since I took a break from school for 3 years. My dad expects me to do everything I am not. Yesterday he compared and belittled me by talking about his ex-co-worker daughter, graduating from college, and how she works for the city. Talking about all the grants she received then proceeds to say only smart people get grants. He said if I was so smart then why am I in community college and have no scholarships. If I was making something of myself then why am I still in school. Made me feel completely stupid, but I truly feel as if I am a disappointment.

It sucks because I was doing so good with my mental health, but after yesterday I can't stop crying. I hate feeling this way and I know I shouldn't listen to my dad, but it's hard. I have talked to my dad about my mental health, but he still doesn't understand. I don't have anyone to confide in, so I hold all my feelings.

I never asked to be born yet people expect so much from me.

Anyway, thank you for listening.
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Default Mar 13, 2022 at 10:33 AM
  #2
I am sorry your Dad said such cruel things. My parents also often compared me to my cousins and talked about how they worked harder than me and did better. It was very hurtful.

I also had to take a break from school due to mental health, and it took me longer to finish my MA than all my classmates. But I did it! It is not at all easy to go to school with mental health issues, and I think you should be proud of yourself.
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Default Mar 13, 2022 at 10:53 AM
  #3
I agree with downandlonely, its not your fault that you have mental health problems and your dad shouldnt be saying such things
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Default Mar 14, 2022 at 07:11 AM
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People who belittle others are usually extremely insecure and quite often what they are saying about you...is really how they feel about themselves.
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Default Mar 14, 2022 at 06:20 PM
  #5
Hmmmm, with a dad like that I can see why you struggle with depression like your profile says. Sometimes the cause of our depression is situational....just something to think about. For me, as soon as I left my bad marriage, my depression, anxiety & even the anorexia went away & I could heal

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Default Mar 14, 2022 at 08:04 PM
  #6
Leaving my parents helped a lot with my depression too. But I know it's not always possible if you depend on them financially.
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Default Mar 14, 2022 at 08:58 PM
  #7
I'm sorry that your father says such things. Parents are supposed to be supportive, it must hurt so much when a parent is unsupportive and downright cruel.



You are in school and you are making something of yourself. Keep up with your schoolwork regardless of what he says!
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Default Apr 04, 2022 at 05:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie123 View Post
People who belittle others are usually extremely insecure and quite often what they are saying about you...is really how they feel about themselves.
Good post. I completely agree. Your dad was being an A hole being so cruel. Try not to let his bs, cruel words get to you too much. Emotional abuse is a real phenomenon. If a parent is ''disappointed'' in their child, it points to a serious flaw or constellation of serious flaws in the parent, NOT the child. Yeah, nobody ''asked to be born''... I'm sorry your ''dad'' is so disrespectful. You are not alone...

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Default Apr 04, 2022 at 09:36 PM
  #9
Please don’t internalize his false narrative. You are beautiful and heroic and he doesn’t deserve to know you right now. He’s denying who you are. And the way you’re cultivating your life garden in community college is lovely. Don’t let others steal that from you. I’ve denied my whole life I have a mental illness, pretending I’m normal. My profile said I was here for self improvement until yesterday. I beat myself up for failing normal standards. For being a perpetual ef-up. So many years. It’s held me back, made me less, hurt me. I decided yesterday I’m a freaking miracle. I’m 55. It took that long. Don’t believe the lie. Just love who you are, be oblivious to the rest, and bring your gifts into the world in the ways that work for you. Tell your dad you like who you are, and he doesn’t have to. Freud said that what humans need is to work well and to love well. Only you get to decide what that means, not your dad, not anyone else. You are not his commodity. I’m so proud of what you are doing, and sharing this here means you know what’s right and right for you. Unless your dad shapes up don’t trust what he says at all. He’s not loving well.

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Default Apr 07, 2022 at 02:14 AM
  #10
There are many people who do not understand what mental health is and why it is important. I’d suggest you to be positive about yourself and not allow anyone’s opinion to describe you.
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Default May 02, 2022 at 02:01 AM
  #11
It’s important to know what is wrong with your mental health. If nothing feels good, you must consider getting in touch with a therapist who will recommend lifestyle changes that will bring positivity into your life.
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Default May 06, 2022 at 12:19 AM
  #12
Not everyone knows that there is an issue with their mental health until it gets worse. This is why you are told to speak out about how you feel before you start taking the burden of your emotions which results in anxiety and depression.
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