[Photonate]

Hello friends, hope this is the appropriate section for this topic, and if not please feel free to move it.

So I'm worried, or rather my primary/biggest worry collectively/long-term in my life, is that my ability to think will/could deteriorate and deform to the point where my mind is just such a burned out mess that I literally wouldn't be able to think clearly enough to function on even the simplest terms, or just simply be able to even produce thoughts, to the point where I would or could be held permanently/against my will in whatever kind of facility, whether that be a psychiatric, assisted living, whatever.

Like, I don't worry that I'd be held in a psychiatric facility for anything like self-harm or unintentional harm to others anymore, but just that like I said my mind could just become so messy and blurred and burned out that I won't even be able/allowed to have my freedom and just live because I wouldn't be able to function out in the world, and with/around others you know.

I know it would take a lot to get to that point, but I also know that I still have a long life ahead of me and a lot can happen good or bad in even a short amount of time, and that the human brain can get to that point. And I feel like everything is fine/would be fine, and I don't have anything to worry about, except for that one fear because of how my ability to think has already noticeably deteriorated, at least relative to how it used to be. That's pretty much like my only/biggest fear or worry I even have any more.

I tell myself that life goes on, but I feel like ending up being stuck in some facility with no outside freedoms or anything would be more or less like Hell for me.

[Photonate]

Addition:

Oh and also if it helps any, really I feel like the only/main way my mind could get to that point, is by just being stagnant in life. Like, and I don't even really plan on or want that, but I feel like not really knowing my purpose, and not knowing what I want/need to be doing in life, is what could unintentionally lead to that.

Like, if I knew my purpose, and knew what I need to be working on/towards and everything, then it really wouldn't be a concern, but I just really don't have I guess much "aim" in my life, so I feel like if I just end up drifting through day to day, it'll lead to just a stagnant mind and living, and ultimately to an empty mind and life, and... like I said, in some permanent place where I have no freedom and need to be taken care of.

[downandlonely]

I had a lot of trouble finding purpose too. I find it now in volunteer work, particularly with people who struggle with mental health and the LGBTQ community.

What are some things you really care about?

[MaverickLovesYou]

I have similar worries. I heard psychiatric facilities won't even take "us" in if we are ever in that state of mind; not sure

[Photonate]

Originally Posted by downandlonely

I had a lot of trouble finding purpose too. I find it now in volunteer work, particularly with people who struggle with mental health and the LGBTQ community.

What are some things you really care about?

Very sorry to hear you struggled with that but I'm happy to hear you got through it!

I don't necessarily struggle with finding my purpose, like, it's not a debilitating concern or doesn't really negatively impact me much, but it's just on my mind and something I would like to figure out of course.

But it's just like I said you know I feel like long-term not knowing what I need/want to be doing and aiming for in my life could cause problems deep down, like just feeling/worrying that I'm just more-or-less drifting through life with no aim would make me feel negative, and ultimately stagnant, and if I'm worried and insecure that I'm not doing anything real, that would make me feel like my brain is just wasting away and becoming stagnant.

What helps me now with that (and a lot of things) is just telling myself and recognizing that I am at least doing my best, but that of course could change 1, 5, 10 etc. years or even days down the line, and worst case scenario I could end up feeling like or worrying that I'm a 'failure'/'failing, maybe?

Like I said it's more just worrying that my brain, my central motor and powerhouse that controls everything about me basically and how I think and feel, could deteriorate and become weak, due to feeling like my life/brain is just being stagnant and... burned out, or empty.

Originally Posted by MaverickLovesYou

I have similar worries. I heard psychiatric facilities won't even take "us" in if we are ever in that state of mind; not sure

Very sorry to hear it can be rough, I really hope you are able to find some solace yourself... I've read and been told on here too even that it's kinda hard/unlikely to truly be permanently heald in any facility due to mental health problems, because of how much it would cost them to take care of a human being for the rest of their lives; food, shelter, care, etc. etc.

But I just know how dynamic and... influenced the brain can be, and how bad it can get so easily. Like you could literally be perfectly fine and feel amazing one day, and then something could happen the next day and completely change the way you feel and think. The brain is just so complex and deep and dynamic you know, I just always hope maybe like the brain's/human basic instinct hardwired in to just survive would always kick in or something, and even at its lowest it could still at least perform the very basics to survive.