How do I accept reality?

I think I've created my own suffering by wanting a boyfriend and it's like I'm trying to find ways so I don't want it. I know that I have pain inside me and all my fears about not having the time to have children does get in the way. I know my thoughts aren't helpful sometimes I feel sorry for myself and frankly I don't think life can give me what I want or need. I know I need to work and get a job but even responsibility I find scary and don't feel it possible. I've had my sister tell me and people tell me all the jobs I can't do because of my lack of concentration and I can't help but think if I was a better me I wouldn't have these problems. Also I don't think I can be any better I just see myself when it comes to work as useless and I frankly don't know how I'm going to save without my mum. Frankly, I'm still emotionally immature and I have no common sense and that's where I fail. I wish I could turn off my wants and just accept where I am but I don't know how. I just hurt a lot somedays and just curse the stars for how my destiny has turned out I don't want to be in this country. I don't want to be unable to have my dream job I don't want people telling me what I can and can't do but it's time I accept that I can't be a nurse and I shouldn't drive either.

I wonder the same

There comes a time when you must accept who you are . Faults and all.
Remember , you are always changing. You may feel different tomorrow than you
do today. You'll learn , hopefully not the hard way , that you have no choice but to
accept the outside reality. BUT , you actually have the power to change YOUR inside reality, ( up to your personal limits. )

The first part of accepting reality is to accept that you really want some things. Don't try to make yourself not want what you want, but rather fully accept that you do want it, and also accept how much it hurts to not have it.

The DBT therapy online (available for free- just Google it) is pretty good and what I used to begin to learn radical acceptance/ reality acceptance.

Also, recently I was reading the book Honoring the Self and it had a bit about this subject to. Something new to me, that I found interesting, was his process of naming your feelings. He has a method where you repeat a feeling out loud to yourself a number of times. Often just acknowledging the feeling/pain will lessen it. It has worked for me. It doesn't take the pain away completely, but there's something comforting about just being able to validate it.

(((Hugs))) to you.