Home Menu

Menu



advertisement
Forums Index > General > Other Mental Health Discussion

Folder icon Just ruining another friendship

Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
OafFish
Poohbah
 
OafFish's Avatar
 
Member Since Jul 2022
Location: The Far West
Posts: 1,195
1
Default Oct 27, 2022 at 09:47 AM
  #1
The usual, too many questions, too much or too little consideration or respect, too much personal investment. Now just stand back and watch it crumble
OafFish is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Anonymous32448, Bill3, Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated, Fuzzybear, MaverickLovesYou, mote.of.soul, nonightowl, Open Eyes, Yaowen

advertisement
Yaowen
Grand Magnate
 
Yaowen's Avatar
 
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 3,618 (SuperPoster!)
4
6,475 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 27, 2022 at 10:48 AM
  #2
So sorry that you are in this situation. Wish I knew what to say to help.
Yaowen is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, mote.of.soul
 
Thanks for this!
lizardlady
OafFish
Poohbah
 
OafFish's Avatar
 
Member Since Jul 2022
Location: The Far West
Posts: 1,195
1
Default Oct 27, 2022 at 11:17 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yaowen View Post
So sorry that you are in this situation. Wish I knew what to say to help.
Thank you, I'm not sure there is any helping, I don't know enough about friendship to practice it responsibly and maybe it's just better to not try.
OafFish is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, Cloudnsunshine, mote.of.soul
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
 
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!)
21
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 27, 2022 at 12:55 PM
  #4
I'm wondering how long you've known this person for? I'm sorry you're in this situation. Maybe if you give a bit more information more people might reply. Have you tried posting in the ''relationships'' forum here?

''too much or too little consideration or respect''....? (I'm unsure if I fully understand this..)

I'm wondering if you have been diagnosed with any disorder? Are you in therapy?

(sorry ''too many questions'' here...)

I'm sending positive vibes, hoping things improve for you!

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Anonymous32448, Breaking Dawn, mote.of.soul
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, lizardlady
OafFish
Poohbah
 
OafFish's Avatar
 
Member Since Jul 2022
Location: The Far West
Posts: 1,195
1
Default Oct 27, 2022 at 04:40 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
I'm wondering how long you've known this person for? I'm sorry you're in this situation. Maybe if you give a bit more information more people might reply. Have you tried posting in the ''relationships'' forum here?


''too much or too little consideration or respect''....? (I'm unsure if I fully understand this..)


I'm wondering if you have been diagnosed with any disorder? Are you in therapy?


(sorry ''too many questions'' here...)


I'm sending positive vibes, hoping things improve for you!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
I didn't see relationships, I should have posted there.
This one has been about 2 months, but none of them end any different.
Yes I'm disordered, depression and anxiety and probably other things.
Anyway thank you for your good wishes, I do appreciate them.
OafFish is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Anonymous32448, Bill3, Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, mote.of.soul
eskielover
Legendary Wise Elder
 
eskielover's Avatar
 
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,740 (SuperPoster!)
19
14.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 28, 2022 at 12:36 PM
  #6
DBT (interpersonal effectiveness section) & a wonderful therapist truly helped me learn. Learn when to walk away from some people. Not everyone is meant to be our friend & we need to sense that BEFORE we invest ourselves in trying to force something to become a REAL friendship.

I have learned to keep people I first meet at acquaintance level. Then slowly get to know them without trying to force anything. Sometimes the more I get to know someone, the more I determine just how incompatible I am with them & the acquaintance just slowly fades away.

__________________


Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
eskielover is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear
 
Thanks for this!
ArmorPlate108, Discombobulated, mote.of.soul, MuseumGhost, OafFish, Open Eyes
Discombobulated
Grand Magnate
 
Discombobulated's Avatar
 
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 4,684 (SuperPoster!)
4
11.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 30, 2022 at 12:08 PM
  #7
I agree with the above, in my experience true close friends are few and far between. I used to get sad because acquaintanceships would fizzle out, but I now realise they weren’t meant to be. That’s okay. Doesn’t mean anyone is at fault, just not compatible for close friendship.

That’s not to say we shouldn’t reflect at all when someone drifts out of our life, there might be things we can learn from. It’s rarely one persons fault though.
Discombobulated is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, MuseumGhost
 
Thanks for this!
lizardlady, mote.of.soul
Anonymous32448
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Oct 31, 2022 at 08:58 AM
  #8
Also sometimes friends grow apart
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated, Fuzzybear, MuseumGhost
 
Thanks for this!
Discombobulated, lizardlady, mote.of.soul, MuseumGhost, OafFish
*Beth*
catches the flowers
 
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
4
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 04, 2022 at 02:01 PM
  #9
Quote:
Originally Posted by OafFish View Post
The usual, too many questions, too much or too little consideration or respect, too much personal investment. Now just stand back and watch it crumble

Who is asking too many questions/too much or too little consideration or respect, etc.? How long have you known the person? Where did you meet?

__________________
*Beth* is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear
 
Thanks for this!
lizardlady
OafFish
Poohbah
 
OafFish's Avatar
 
Member Since Jul 2022
Location: The Far West
Posts: 1,195
1
Default Nov 04, 2022 at 11:56 PM
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Beth* View Post


Who is asking too many questions/too much or too little consideration or respect, etc.? How long have you known the person? Where did you meet?
Respect is tricky. It's distance and careful consideration of boundaries and consents. Getting close while navigating respect is always a challenge for me, I err too much towards caution. The natural ability people seem to have to sense the flow of acceptable closeness eludes me.
It's pretty annoying for people to dance with such a clumsy partner.
OafFish is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, ArmorPlate108, Discombobulated, Fuzzybear
 
Thanks for this!
ArmorPlate108
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
 
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!)
21
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 05, 2022 at 12:56 PM
  #11
Quote:
Originally Posted by OafFish View Post
Respect is tricky. It's distance and careful consideration of boundaries and consents. Getting close while navigating respect is always a challenge for me, I err too much towards caution. The natural ability people seem to have to sense the flow of acceptable closeness eludes me.
It's pretty annoying for people to dance with such a clumsy partner.
I'm wondering if this is a romantic relationship, or a friend? And I'm wondering too where you met? I'm not sure that everyone has a natural ability to sense the flow of acceptable closeness, some places are harder than others. My husband always has said he is a clumsy dancer, I think he dances just fine. I wonder if you might be on the ASD spectrum? I don't know, it's just a guess.

Hugs

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Discombobulated
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
 
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!)
21
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 26, 2022 at 12:44 PM
  #12
How are you now Oatfish?

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
 
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!)
21
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 26, 2022 at 12:45 PM
  #13
Quote:
Originally Posted by OafFish View Post
Respect is tricky. It's distance and careful consideration of boundaries and consents. Getting close while navigating respect is always a challenge for me, I err too much towards caution. The natural ability people seem to have to sense the flow of acceptable closeness eludes me.
It's pretty annoying for people to dance with such a clumsy partner.
Good post about respect. I think you're ''better'' at this stuff than you think you are.

Respect and hugs

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
ArmorPlate108, Discombobulated, lizardlady
Anonymous32448
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 26, 2022 at 04:06 PM
  #14
The whole forum accepts and loves a oaffish
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
eskielover
Legendary Wise Elder
 
eskielover's Avatar
 
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,740 (SuperPoster!)
19
14.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 27, 2022 at 12:56 PM
  #15
Quote:
Originally Posted by OafFish View Post
Respect is tricky. It's distance and careful consideration of boundaries and consents. Getting close while navigating respect is always a challenge for me, I err too much towards caution. The natural ability people seem to have to sense the flow of acceptable closeness eludes me.
It's pretty annoying for people to dance with such a clumsy partner.
Erring on the side of caution is always best. Saves you from having to get out of messy friendships that shouldn't have been in the first place

__________________


Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
eskielover is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
OafFish
Reply

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »
Thread Tools
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:58 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Copyright © 2001-2024 Liviant Internet LLC.
All rights reserved.
All posts are copyright their original authors.

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
My Support Forums Privacy Policy Terms of Use