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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
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#1
I often hear or read that we don't have to be the victims of our negative, fearful, and bad thoughts, but that we have control over such thoughts. I would like to have control over those kinds of thoughts (especially fear thoughts), but I don't have an idea of the first step of how not to be victimized by such thoughts.
I would sure like to know some of your thoughts on the subject and skills, if you have them to share. __________________ |
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ArmorPlate108, Discombobulated, Fuzzybear, Junerain, mote.of.soul, steelmagnolia65, SybilMarie, WovenGalaxy
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#2
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__________________ "A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."- Dōgen
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear
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*Beth*, Discombobulated
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#3
I liked the book the power of now. He suggests that we need to accept that our bad thoughts are not us. They are a diseased brain. We don't have to listen to them. We can just accept that we are different from those thoughts and laugh at them. Ie. disassociate ourselves from them. It is difficult to do... but as you do it more often it does help.
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Grand Magnate
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#4
I’ve found acknowledging the thoughts is helpful, forming a habit of STOP, standing back and looking as an observer at that thought, questioning it, posing alternatives.
You’re pretty good at replying helpfully to people here, I guess you could look at it as a similar process - if that makes sense. I know it’s not always easy though and when our resilience is low and we’ve got stressed going on it’s challenging to stand back from unwanted thoughts. |
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*Beth*, Nammu
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#5
Excellent reply Discombobuted!
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*Beth*, Discombobulated
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
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#6
I so appreciate your replies @mote.of.soul, @NatalieJastrow, @Discombobulated, and @lizardlady. Thank you! I'm going to look into this subject some more and be back later.
In the meantime, if anyone else has ideas to contribute, go for it.... __________________ |
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#7
I have mixed feelings about saying people are in control of their thoughts. I don't believe someone who is delusional or in the middle of a psychotic break has much control over their thoughts. In my own case it took a combination of meds and damned hard work in therapy for me to gain a sense of control over my thoughts.
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Crone
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#8
Like anything it takes patience and practice. They ( yeah who?) say that you need 10,000 hours of practice to acquire a new skill. Meanwhile if you are actively practicing you can take comfort in knowing that there’s and end to such thoughts.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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*Beth*
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Disreputable Old Troll
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#9
Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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#10
__________________ "A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."- Dōgen
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
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#11
Thank you so much for chiming in @Nammu and @Skeezyks. I'm still doing some research on this subject this afternoon and will be back. (I'm having to give some time to this interesting topic in between my work-work).
I know many work on this subject in therapy. I'd love to hear what your therapist says on this subject. Also, there are religious/spiritual beliefs on the subject of working to overcome certain thoughts. So if anyone else has thoughts or experience to add, please do. __________________ |
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Fuzzybear, mote.of.soul, MuseumGhost
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Crone
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#12
Mmm, maybe spiritual? I don’t know. I like using the Buddha concept of empty mind. I call it a null state. To me it’s not spiritual it’s just a coping method, one that works well for me.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear
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#13
There's also the practise of 'mindfulness' which is widely suggested by the mental health field and is actually a component called 'Right mindfulness ' of the ancient Buddhist path to enlightenment - inner peace and tranquility. So, it's spiritual in origin. I always use it for self grounding.
Plenty of info and videos on the internet. __________________ "A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."- Dōgen
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear, Nammu
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#14
I think it’s part of our design that forced early man to cave paint and eventually create language to sharing knowledge and recording life experiences for those in other generations.
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mote.of.soul
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#15
Avoiding certain things where practicable, certain triggering things, can be a way to control unpleasant thoughts invading the mind too.
__________________ "A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."- Dōgen
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*Beth*
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*Beth*, Open Eyes
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catches the flowers
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#16
Yes. I'm sort-of sitting down and focusing on this thread. Please forgive me...I'm tossing some things out, bit by bit.
I've been thinking of a a book I read way back in the '90's, a book I still own (it's ragged now, what with me reading and re-reading it, gleaning bits here and there). When I first purchased the book it was newly released and I was seeing a psychologist, an extraordinarily gifted therapist, who suggested I read the book. I'm sure some (or all) of you are familiar with it in one way or another. It's Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn, which brought the practice of mindfulness meditation/mindfulness into the therapy offices of the western world, so to speak. Mindfulness being, of course, about how to manage our thoughts. Not control (my wording this morning was poor), but manage. __________________ |
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Fuzzybear
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mote.of.soul, MuseumGhost
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#17
Oh great stuff @*Beth*. Sounds like you've been on your journey of the mind for quite some time. Awesome.👍
I've not heard of that book at all tbh, but I have wondered, from time to time, how mindfulness made it's way into the mental health field. Now I know. Would be an interesting read.👍 I discovered mindfulness and started practicing it when I became interested in Buddhism and meditation etc, around the year 2000 - twenty-two years ago, wow.🤔 Then around 2005 I found out, to my joy, that it was known about in mental health. Because I felt Buddhism in general could be a valuable mental health tool, and when you look at it, the mental health field is really all about helping people to overcome their mental and emotional pain - and so is Buddhism. The two are united across the expanses of time (in many ways).🙏 __________________ "A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."- Dōgen
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear
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Crone
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#18
Gosh, it seems like I’ve always known about mindfulness since my uncle introduced me to it in the 70’s but it took years to acquire a semblance of discipline . I just looked up one of the first books I was exposed too, zen and the art of motorcycle repair, 1974! There was another but I can’t find it. Something about Buddha and a path. That was my uncle who lived in California of course!
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear, unaluna
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Crone
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#19
I found it! If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him. I read it when I was very young and most of the message went over my head. I also did not start therapy until decades later. But the one refrain I absorbed was that we are responsible for ourselves. I need to re-read this book.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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Fuzzybear
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lizardlady, mote.of.soul, MuseumGhost, Open Eyes
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#20
@Nammu
Quote:
__________________ "A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."- Dōgen
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear
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*Beth*, Nammu, Open Eyes
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