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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 830
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#1
Many years ago at this time of year, I was put in a horrible state hospital. Obviously, I lived through it and its been a long time. The problem is I can't get it out of my mind ,recently. Its constant flashbacks. I thought ******TRIGGER
I would die in there, either from neglect, staff or other patients. I haven't thought about it in such a long time. Now I can't escape it. Maybe cause its the same time of year?? This is very hard to deal with. __________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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*Beth*, AliceKate, Anonymous43372, Bill3
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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#2
Hi lily, That sounds like a lot of people's worst nightmare. It's entirely understandable that you feel triggered now, at this time of the year - which for many of us is already a difficult season.
I was 23 years old the first time I was IP. It wasn't really so bad; I found a novel to read, a few of the staff were pleasant ('though most were cranky). I made friends with a young woman my age. So things were not terrible
Possible trigger:
That was 37 years ago, but I still flash back to it sometimes with a feeling of such fear. And that was only the small psych inpatient wing of a large regular hospital. I can imagine how terrifying it must have felt to be in a state hospital. How long were you in there? __________________ |
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AliceKate, Anonymous43372, Bill3, Calla lily12
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Calla lily12
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 830
5 979 hugs
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#3
That must have been terrifying!
The hospital wasn't just like IP it was what you'd consider an asylum. If I could find a photo, I'd show you. __________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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*Beth*
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 830
5 979 hugs
given |
#4
__________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
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#5
Quote:
Yes, I understand. The hospital was closed in 1992, so you must have been there quite a while ago. How long were you hospitalized? __________________ |
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 830
5 979 hugs
given |
#6
Quote:
__________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#7
That's plenty long enough. Were there any positive experiences for you while you were IP?
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 830
5 979 hugs
given |
#8
positive from the state hospital? One other patient that had been there for many years, gave me strength. Other than that, I don't know how or why I made it out. The memories (flashbacks) are more clear and more terrible than before.
__________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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*Beth*
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#9
Quote:
I'm so sorry, lily. Are there any particular bad memories you'd like to share, just to "air them out" or vent? __________________ |
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 830
5 979 hugs
given |
#10
I'm afraid to because either it will make the flashbacks worse or it will badly trigger people here. Also any identifying info won't be good. Thank you for the suggestion, though.
__________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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