Your Family Members with Mental Illness

In 1969 my mom spent six weeks IP when my father suddenly left their marriage after 25 years. Mom had a mental illness and she completely fell apart when he left...an understandable reaction. My mom was fortunate in that the hospital where she was IP was safe, and the pdocs there were progressive in their approach to patient treatment. She told me her time there was quiet and relaxing.

My great-aunt, Bertha (age 19), was found wandering naked at night in Central Park (New York City). The year was 1919. Bertha and her family had immigrated from Russian territory, what is now called Ukraine. She spoke Yiddish; her English was very limited. When the cops found her in Central Park she was "confused." What had happened, no one knows...did Bertha remove her clothes herself...was she sexually abused by someone in the park? No one knows, or perhaps no one in the family told.

The cops took Bertha to "The Farm Colony of Brooklyn State Hospital" - which a few years later became Creedmoor State Hospital.

Bertha entered the state hospital at age 19 and remained there for most of her life. In her early 50's she was released and went to live with her older sister and brother-in-law, my grandparents. She died in her mid-50's.

All I have heard about Bertha was that she was a "gentle, soft-spoken woman who was happy when family visited." No one ever knew, or if someone knew never talked about, the reason Bertha spent over thirty years in a state hospital.

I have done fairly extensive research on Creedmoor. It still functions as a state hospital, but when I've attempted to find old records I was told they had "been burned in a fire." So I am left with no knowledge of what my great-aunt's diagnosis was, or what happened to her in Central park. From what I've read, life in Creedmoor was not at all pleasant.

All I know of my great-aunt was that she was kind, loved family, and worked 3 days/week in the hospital laundry. How I wish I could have spoken with her! But she died several years before I was born (in 1962).

Does anyone else here have family that were either IP or spent time in a state hospital? What about mental illness in your family? Any relatives with mental illness?

No one in my family has been IP that I'm aware of, but plenty have been incarcerated for substance abuse/drunk driving. I'm not particularly close to any of them other than my maternal grandma (when she was alive) and my dad.

My dad: Major addict, got put in jail twice both times he was drunk once he stole a truck. Possibly bipolar. Went on a spending spree and bought three generators even though he already had one and spend $800 on slot car racing stuff in a span of a month. Uses other substances as well.

My paternal aunts: Three with bipolar 2. Two are estranged and the one I talk to is a drunk.

I have a maternal aunt who had substance abuse issues and She had a good heart, but hung out with a bad, bad crowd.

Cousin on my dad's side with severe substance abuse issues. . Homeless currently, whereabouts unknown.

Cousin on my mom's side with panic disorder.

My mom's mom also had panic attacks. She took Xanax for them. She was psychologically addicted to them but not physically dependent on them.

I think that's about it.

Have cousins that have been inpatient but anything going back a generation of two, nope. You gotta understand that on my fathers side of the family saving face was so important that they would have locked anyone up in an attic rather than someone be seen as less than perfect. In fact my fathers mother died of a sore throat because she wouldn’t go see a doctor for something as insignificant as a sore throat. That was in the 50’s. His side of the family your name is everything and you carry on no matter how you feel.

Mum’s side isn’t quite so drastic but they have the German pride, you do what you must no matter how you feel. Your depressed? Tough get up and go to work. The banisters need polishing! A clean house is next to godliness. So work. Work is the solution to all problems.

Thanks for posting this interesting thread! I never knew my father's side of the family. But my mother's side were quite as Nammu described hers being. No one I knew, growing up, ever experienced any overt mental illness that I'm aware of. (I've never done any research on my family tree.) To my knowledge, I'm the first to have the distinction of having been in a psychiatric facility (twice.) My maternal grandmother, during the years I knew her, was a reclusive person, but not in the sense that she let herself (or her home) go. She, as well as her home, were always neat and tidy. She simply preferred to keep to herself. (As do I.) She said being around people made her nervous.

All the women on my mother's side had exactly what I have. My great grandmother died at 43 in a psych ward from pneumonia from an ice bath. I have bad genes, period.

Boots, your post reminded me of more family incidents. My aunt suicided, as did my cousin. My precious sister was an addict for decades...she started with various pills and went on to other drugs as the decades passed (coke, crank, meth).

OCD was rampant in my dad's family and I'm quite sure my dad had bipolar disorder 2. Major anxiety disorders on both sides.

So many lives were shortened or lost due to mental illness back in the day. I wonder how many still are, though, because of people who are afraid to, or ashamed of, seeking treatment. Also people who have no access to treatment - and even those who are in treatment.

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Originally Posted by cool09 ...My great grandmother died at 43 in a psych ward from pneumonia from an ice bath...

How terribly sad.

I hear you on the "bad genes." Same.

Incarceration is definitely a way to shut away and mistreat those with mental health disorders. I'm glad you added that to this discussion @MuddyBoots .

@Nammu, my mom was deeply into the work ethic, too. Obsessively so - and that type of behavior can be an addiction or compulsion in itself. On my dad's side, the hush-hush about any type of "defect" was paramount. Had my dad's Aunt Bertha not been picked up by the cops because she was wandering naked, if she truly did have a mental illness, there's no way she would have been given anything but a "hide it." And so much of that stigma was generational.

Then too, the absolute terror of "going to an institution" was what really kept many people quiet about mental health issues. After all, before 1989 (when SSRI's appeared) psychiatric treatment meant primitive medications with side effects that were even worse than the side effects of today's meds (except Valium, but even that was so terribly addictive). Or, there was "see a psychiatrist" and that was done primarily in social circles by wealthy people who could afford psychiatric treatment, as I understand it.

You're so welcome @Skeezyks . Is it a good thing that you were in treatment for mental health issues?

No family history at time of diagnosis however we believe as alcoholic grandpas both sides had some form of mental illness. I found out my 2nd cousin dads side is psychophrenic.

They think a Great grandma was as well she had bad issues during metapause they called it something like that but my mom says she was likely crazy, dads side as well.

I take after dad's side. I was originally diagnosed psychophrenic, but meds work well so they basically downgraded me to bipolar with psychosis.

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Originally Posted by Aviza ... They think a Great grandma was as well she had bad issues during metapause they called it something like that but my mom says she was likely crazy ...

I have read about how common it was for women going through menopause being forced into a psych institution because they were "crazy." Their husbands could commit them, so it was sometimes an easy way to get rid of a woman who was having mood changes no one wanted to deal with.

Thanks for asking. As I think back over the years I believe I was struggling with mental health issues (that went unrecognized & untreated) from a very young age. However, I was taught "you don't wash your dirty laundry in public." (It's still that way to a large extent.) The lesson stuck. And, by the time I finally lost control of myself, all of the family members I had grown up with were deceased (including my parents.) So there was no one alive to care one way or the other except my spouse (who wants as little to do with it as possible.)

I recall one time (in a support group I was in while in a partial hospital program) saying: "You know how when celebrities receive awards they say they wish their mom and dad could have lived to see this? Well, I'm glad my mother and father didn't live to see this. They'd have better understood it if I had been sent to prison. They wouldn't have liked it. But they'd have better understood it than finding out I had been involuntarily committed to a psych ward! One of my father's favorite quips was: "What the hell's the matter with ya, Budd?! (He used to like to call me Budd.)

Is it a good thing I was in treatment for mental health? Well... I guess in the end I didn't have much say in the matter. I don't think what little bit of so-called treatment I received did help much because I'm still struggling (silently) with the same old issues. At this point, though, I'm old enough it no longer makes any difference. It all just was what it was.

Skeezky, my dad was that way. He never did understand how I could have ended up in a hospital and was very disappointed in me. Mum I think understood.

I belong to a family who strongly believe mental illnesses don't exist. Recently one second cousin got diagnosed with schezophrenia.She told me that she suffered auditory hallucinations from teenage. Her parents thought she was acting out .Her behavior was chalked out as attention seeking.She developed paranoia and couldn't sleep.She was put on sleeping meds.Her parents tried exorcism, shamans, tarot readers,self proclaimed alternate therapists,ghost busters and others.Any one but a regular doctor. Now after suffering a lot,she finally got the diagnosis.She confided in me and it looks like she didn't tell anyone else.
I have always doubted my mum had something. A cluster B may be. But everything is normalized by everyone. Mental illness is a myth,they strongly believe that.

When I start with mental illness in my family, I start with my father who had issues with codependency and addiction. Then there's my mother who moved 50 times in 67 years in search of perfection, with years of depression and paranoia. My sister who died of accidental drug overdose a year ago showed very strong characteristics of bipolar disorder, my younger sister, probably the most normal one in the family, is autistic, mentally challenged with Turner's syndrome but no sign of mental illness, just characteristics of being an adult child in our family of dysfunction.
For myself I adopted my parents dysfunction and character defects and an adult child as a result. Depression, low self-esteem, paranoia, anxiety/ panic disorder with severe codependency. Only official diagnosis I have received have been for panic disorder and gender dysphoria.

My dad did multiple stints in the psych ward of the local and VA hospitals for substance abuse treatment. He was diagnosed with major depression. I believe he also had undiagnosed PTSD. I suspect several of his siblings and his nephews were alcoholic, but they lived in a rural, redneck area where getting shyte faced falling down drunk regularly was considered "normal."

I’m not sure you would learn much if you did have success in locating your aunts records Beth. They did not really understand mental illness back when your aunt ended up institutionalized.

There was a lot of alcoholism in the 20’s, even before and there was cocaine in cough syrup and soda. There was definitely ptsd that went undiagnosed or was labeled something else. People did not live as long and many women died giving birth. There was war and the depression to survive. Life was hard for many full of uncertainty. Yes, people hid a lot of challenges to keep a good public reputation.

In 1969 a high percentage of women were totally dependent so it was a huge loss when a husband left. Women lived with constant fear of losing their husbands to another woman. It also was not unusual for a wife to stay silent should her husband have another woman on the side. @*Beth* your mother’s worst fears happened so it’s not surprising she experienced a breakdown.

Sadly, a lot of war veterans came back from the war and suffered from ptsd. These men were so young that served, in many ways still just boys. I know my father saw things that affected him his entire life.

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Originally Posted by Skeezyks Thanks for asking. As I think back over the years I believe I was struggling with mental health issues (that went unrecognized & untreated) from a very young age. However, I was taught "you don't wash your dirty laundry in public." (It's still that way to a large extent.) The lesson stuck. And, by the time I finally lost control of myself, all of the family members I had grown up with were deceased (including my parents.) So there was no one alive to care one way or the other except my spouse (who wants as little to do with it as possible.) I recall one time (in a support group I was in while in a partial hospital program) saying: "You know how when celebrities receive awards they say they wish their mom and dad could have lived to see this? Well, I'm glad my mother and father didn't live to see this. They'd have better understood it if I had been sent to prison. They wouldn't have liked it. But they'd have better understood it than finding out I had been involuntarily committed to a psych ward! One of my father's favorite quips was: "What the hell's the matter with ya, Budd?! (He used to like to call me Budd.) Is it a good thing I was in treatment for mental health? Well... I guess in the end I didn't have much say in the matter. I don't think what little bit of so-called treatment I received did help much because I'm still struggling (silently) with the same old issues. At this point, though, I'm old enough it no longer makes any difference. It all just was what it was.

Yes, you come from the same generation and way of thinking as my husband's parents. My husband (he'll be 76 this month) has battled OCD since he was a young teen. He clearly had ADHD as a child, and learning disabilities with mathematics. His entire family have university degrees; my husband, despite being very intelligent, couldn't make it through college because of his disabilities, so he was drafted into the infantry during Vietnam.

The message of "don't ask, don't tell" was strongly enforced in his family. Mental health problems didn't exist. When my husband was drafted at the age of 19 he dared to tell his mother, "Mom, I'm scared." The reply was, "Oh, Dave. Everything will be just fine." When he returned home from his 2 years in the army with a case of PTSD that would severely impact his life (and eventually mine), there was no discussion. No point, because everything was "just fine." Dave had survived and that was that. Don't ask, don't tell.

Skeezyks, you bring to me a question. Does treatment truly help or are the "demons" always just below the surface?

Perhaps treatment serves to civilize us more than we might otherwise be, i.e., instead of hitting our spouse over the head with a chair when we're angry we've learned to appropriately verbalize our anger. We meditate to train our minds so when we have the urge to pick up the chair we've learned to make a more civilized choice. Yet deep inside, would we still like to pick up the chair? Maybe yes, maybe no. But eventually nature has taken its course and we have simply become too aged to lift the chair. Then what? What's next? Something is.

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Originally Posted by Open Eyes I’m not sure you would learn much if you did have success in locating your aunts records Beth. They did not really understand mental illness back when your aunt ended up institutionalized.

Good point about the cocaine in otc medications. Add to that good old reliable Bayer cough syrup, commonly prescribed to children. That cough remedy contained heroin and was not outlawed until 1914.

I am interested in those hospital records that I strongly doubt I will ever see. I've no doubt that my great-aunt suffered with PTSD as the result of whatever she went through as a child who immigrated to the US when she was ten years old. Of course, that almost surely would not be included in her Creedmoor intake notes.

What may have been notated, however, was the reason my Great-Aunt Bertha was found by the police, wandering in Central Park with no clothing on. People don't just "do" that. And were there any records to indicate why she was committed for around four decades? Probably, and I would be interested to see them. It's true that they didn't understand mental illness then - but do they understand it now?