[MuddyBoots]

The work of healing doesn't seem worth it anymore.

[lizardlady]

Oh Muddy Boots, have had plenty of episodes of feeling that way myself. Maybe give yourself permission to not work on healing for a few day

[Fuzzybear]

I'm sorry muddyboots

Originally Posted by lizardlady

Oh Muddy Boots, have had plenty of episodes of feeling that way myself. Maybe give yourself permission to not work on healing for a few day

Agreed. Give yourself some time off.

[TheGal]

I was feeling similarly (yet again!) today... Time off sounds like a good idea...

[eskielover]

after 13 years of wasted time, a new location, a new T & a few years of work at it along with just work around my farm, I realized I was healed & it took me awhile to believe it.....like "how & when did that happen?" It just became a new way of life that had changed so slowly I really hadn't noticed the healing process

[MuddyBoots]

healing means life

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots

healing means life

It means life, but it usually means a better life because in the process of healing we learn better ways to handle the hurts that caused us to need healing

[MuddyBoots]

I just can't imagine having a life so much better that it would be worth going through this and all the other stuff I've been through.

Saw pdoc yesterday though. She made some minor med changes so hopefully I can sleep more than 20 hours a week and I'll even out a bit. So I don't feel completely hopeless right now. Last night went well. I fell asleep around 9 and woke up at 5. Feeling hungover. A combo of an actual hangover from drinking, zyprexa, and finally sleeping.

I'm going to try and get better. I know I can do good for someone out there somewhere. Not going to off myself (I say that now, but I'll probably feel differently in two hours).

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots

I just can't imagine having a life so much better that it would be worth going through this and all the other stuff I've been through.

Saw pdoc yesterday though. She made some minor med changes so hopefully I can sleep more than 20 hours a week and I'll even out a bit. So I don't feel completely hopeless right now. Last night went well. I fell asleep around 9 and woke up at 5. Feeling hungover. A combo of an actual hangover from drinking, zyprexa, and finally sleeping.

I'm going to try and get better. I know I can do good for someone out there somewhere. Not going to off myself (I say that now, but I'll probably feel differently in two hours).

I couldn't imagine it at the time either until it was there & I realized it was so much better including my relationships with other people actually is. Lack of sleep is a very disregulating factor in our whole mental health

[lizardlady]

MuddyBoots, gotta agree with Eskie. When I was in a dark place I didn't believe it would get better. It can.

Hugs to you and I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. I know it seems so cliche to say "it gets better". It took me 15 years for things to improve and the truth is healing is a lifelong process. Just remember that you made it this far and that makes you strong. Don't give up!!!

[Willcat]

Sometimes It is about letting go to get what we need.