Am I wrong?

When I moved into my new place I thought something was off with the superintendent.

In the early stages he seemed to look for opportunities to start fights, and be adversarial. I would ask questions and try to talk to him and he would take it as an opportunity to call me a liar about pest treatment at my old place. He would send walls of text swearing at me. He literally seemed incapable of trying to work anything out diplomatically.

If he wanted to figure out if I was lying all he had to do was call the pest company I had dealt with previously. It was the same pest company that treated my current building as well (It had been treated before I moved in).

He also told other people I brought a pest problem into the building. When I gave him the opportunity to inspect and treat my place he seemed to do nothing. He did go into my place, but wouldn’t follow up or tell me what he did. So I felt uncomfortable with him and worried he would step out of bounds and snoop.

I approached the building owner and got my place professionally treated because I didn’t trust the superintendent.

So all this swearing and talking down to me is so he could feel superior? Turned out it was probably the booze talking.

My family told me I was lying about it and refused to listen to me.

Like clockwork my superintendent got drunk and started acting creepy, and tried to befriend me with an apartment gift. I politely told him I’d be home later after work and errands and he responded with “whatever”

Like bro I’m a tenant not your best friend or a girlfriend. He then mocked me and told me not to read too far into what he said. He was just creepy. I didn’t know how exactly, but I felt like something was really off with him.

He then said he was worried about me and wanted me to come talk to him. Which further upped my squick metre. I politely declined and just said I am naturally quiet. I politely said he doesn’t need to check in on me like that, and to maintain professional boundaries.

This prompted a tirade of abuse out of him. He Called me a twisted ****ing *****, and a low life lying piece of ****.

I didn’t lie to the guy. At all. By that point I felt justified in how unsafe he was making me feeling.

I had to stay at a hotel because I feared a physical altercation from him.

The move cost me substantial financial loss. I already had dropped a pile of money moving. I had to drop another $300 in hotels and a $600 vet bill for my stressed out cat.

My family blamed me. They accused me of causing the situation because I admitted to feeling nervous about him being in my place.

I showed my uncle some of the texts and he told me I instigated by saying “no worries. Peace out” to his tirade.

I am maybe wrong in my perception at first. It was how my aunt screamed at me and called me a liar.

It was how they automatically blamed me and said it was karma. For what I am not even sure.

I had to apologize to my family for what happened. It felt defeating and totally wrong. Why am I apologizing for someone treating me so badly.

My superintendent had me explain what he texted me because he had no memory from that night. He asked me if he said anything sexual.

He verbally harassed me and started trying to fight when I asked for an easy install air conditioner. Just so disrespectful and thinks he’s so superior like he walks on water. He was likely intoxicated then too.

I had to explain I am not arguing with him, it’s necessity because it’s the hottest day of the year. He chastised me for not accepting his gift earlier. Like dude you’re such a peach, how could I refuse such an offer?

It gets even better. I had to let him fix my sink faucet. He showed up drunk. How do I know? I offered to buy him some beer. It took me 20 minutes to get it. When I returned he had forgotten he told me what beer to buy him. He seemed so impressed I knew what beer he drank. I explained he told me 20 minutes ago what beer to buy him. He had blacked out and had forgotten.

In the meantime he bragged to me about how he beat up a previous tenant and put tape over the security cameras and went in a lady’s unit and stole her prescriptions. He claimed she was dealing and shouldn’t be trusted.

He has moved out but has been returning to get his things. It’s kinda dicey because you never know what version of him you’ll get, or how drunk he is.

I’m honestly breathing a sigh of relief knowing he’s not here.

I think my family believes I am just a woman who makes up her abuse and mistreatment so anytime I feel it’s happening and I express fear or concern I am automatically labeled a liar.

Maybe my perspective is wrong at times. Maybe I have been wrong about my own experiences or maybe I am not always the victim when something goes wrong.

My family sows needless self doubt at times when I express concern or politely disagree with them. As a result I am no contact with them.

No matter how clearly I state my case the accusations of starting drama while gaslighting me over their own actions has played a common theme throughout my life.

I still doubt myself when I shouldn’t.

Sometimes nagging bad feelings about other people are perfectly valid reactions.

Hard to build up self-confidence when everyone around you is gaslighting.

I caught my mothers home care giver abusing her. No one believed me that it was happening. I stayed strong & handled it but it was pretty scary when she called the police & accused me of being the one abusing my mom. Things get complicated & we just have to stand strong in what we KNOW is happening. I did & finally filed a report with thw police though nothing came of it because I handled the forged check situation so well she never cashed them & that was the only hard evidence they could have got her on.....she moved as soon as the police started poking around her home.

When you say "superintendent" are you meaning "landlord"? Since he moved out I assume he wasn't the property owner(?).

Not sure what the situation was / is but I think you might want to talk to the actual property owner for your own piece of mind even if he already moved out. This guy sounds like a true piece of work.

I emailed the owner a couple things, including some of the superintendent's harassing text messages. He moved out a couple months after that.

He is gone, but not for good and he comes back to visit his friend down the hall.

He was a genuine piece of work. When he is here I am nice, and just try my best to not engage with him. There are new tenants who have brought some peace and quiet with them.

Stillhuman, trust those gut feelings. Abusers gaslight in order to continue the abuse.

If the former super contacts you anymore report him to the owner and possibly the police. He sounds potentially dangerous. Ask the owner to have your locks changed in case the super kept his pass key.

The owner is useless. I have been asking for my locks to be replaced and upgraded for months.

I called police information on what to do with the superintendent and they advised me to record everything, and if he becomes more confrontational, call the police. I don’t expect much.

I overheard a conversation where a neighbour was going on about teaching a woman a lesson. I’m afraid it has something to do with me. I suspect that the superintendent has been asked to leave because of me and the information I submitted. I remember he was there with another man and he said hi to me, I think to just identify me. I just waved without looking at him, so his friend couldn’t get a good look at me.

He’s sketchy to me.