[insideoutsider]

Hi so can anyone make sense of this, to help me formulate an action plan to better my self control?

I'll let the picture speak, as I answered 35 questions, but if you have any as well don't hesitate to ask. The more color in the diagram, the more well adjusted. Thanks

[CANDC]

@insideoutsider the good part is you do self monitoring and control distractions. My suggestion is any time you have an impulse to do something write it down and sleep on it over night or at least reflect on it and ask yourself what the consequences of doing that action might be.

Impulses for me usually mean trouble or at best a distraction. Another way to control impulses is have detailed plans for a morning or a priority list of what you need to focus on. Write down the impulse under optional activiities.

Maybe all impulses are not bad but they may be against what you really need to focus on like work or school or creative works. Another thing to do is see what motivates the impulse like the belief that doing that will make me happy. After having explored many impulses, I can say that that promise of happiness is usually just a misconception to put it nicely. Impulses lead to distraction not happiness in my opinion.

Doing things that really matter to me gives me a greater sense of satsifaction.

And maybe the best advice is to learn urge surfing.

@CANDC

[Fuzzybear]

[MuddyBoots]

Another thing that might help with impulsivity is to work on persistent underlying emotions/moods you may be struggling with i.e. anxiety, shame, depression/mania, etc.

There's also the STOP skill which stands for Stop, Take a step back, Observe, Proceed mindfully (you can look up more details on this--it's a DBT skill) for when you catch an urge.

[insideoutsider]

CANDC - I think I'm starting to understand what you mean by distraction to fulfillment. Usually it's just a fantasy at best that is never what I expected it to be.

Also I've noticed when I have a mission, as simple as needing to do laundry and folding before a football game, I focus on that and that helps so much, to your point of making a structure.

Fuzzybeae - I appreciate the hugs

Muddy boots - yeah, emotions can be difficult to suss out. Patience will really help as you alluded to in your second paragraph.

You all are awesome for taking the time to reply!