Diagnosis?

So I recently went under two psych evaluations (three really if you include my last hospitalization). One was an intake and a first session with a psychologist at my CMHC, another was from a forensic psychologist because I, uhh, got into a bit of trouble. The hospitalization was in Boston for a little over a week back in January.

-CMHC I've done intake eval (two hours of answering questions about my history and current symptoms basically) says schizoaffective+BPD+PTSD. They have my notes from previous CMHCs elsewhere in the state and talked to the woman who runs the shelter I stayed at (but recently got kicked out of).
-Forensic psych (got arrested for trespassing and simple assault) says Aspd based on history/current presentation, probably bipolar based on history (haha, do they diagnose anyone with anything else?).
-Boston hospital says DID/CPTSD and different "parts" displaying various symptoms which is why I've been diagnosed with everything in the past.

In the past I've been diagnosed with soooo much over the years.

Some transitional housing places need to know what kind of mental health issues I'm dealing with so they can better place me and help me. I might even be able to get back into my old shelter if I get a note saying "I'm in therapy and trying to get better" but the woman wants to know my current dx's/meds/current state of mind first.

I really know dx doesn't mean shyt to me other than if your dx is way off it's a totally different treatment program, so, yeah, I kinda wanna know if I need med changes or a disorder specific therapy or just to learn how to stop being an impulsive fk (I need to do that anyways but idk how).

Idk man. Maybe I'm just the most sane human and everyone else is so fked they think they're the sane ones, when the norm is to be screwed up.

ASPD???? you??

"Antisocial personality disorder is a particularly challenging type of personality disorder characterised by impulsive, irresponsible and often criminal behaviour. Someone with antisocial personality disorder will typically be manipulative, deceitful and reckless, and will not care for other people's feelings." From the website of the NHS in the UK.

So you got arrested for essentially not knowing how to effectively and safely manage your compassion for the pharmacy tech and for being so impulsive that you would do anything on a dare. This is, excuse me, NOT manipulative and deceitful, nor did you display disregard for other people's feelings. You were actually able to put yourself in the shoes of the pharmacy tech. Stood up for an underdog being bullied. This is the kind of behavior heroes in fairy tales exhibit, except they do not get arrested but instead get celebrated.

Yeah, that's just some BS they diagnose everyone with when you get evaluated in jail. It's always either mania or ASPD.

I read an article that said that people with an arrest history often get improperly diagnosed with ASPD. According to this writer, a lot of these individuals actually have borderline personality disorder. Those two disorders are very different from each other.

I think chronic suicidality should be a diagnosis all to itself in addition to whatever other diagnoses a person might have. Maybe it is, but I don't think that's the case. It adds a whole other layer of misery on top of the underlying depression. I base that on my own experience of having chronic suicidality. It may be a person's baseline, but that doesn't make it innocuous. It's dangerous.

Besides being dangerous, Chr. Sui causes a lot of emotional pain. I would say it can become a form of obsessive thinking.

What I find frustrating and invalidating is how mental health professionals will keep saying that the important thing is to keep you "safe." Who really cares about "safe," when you are in awful psychological pain? Getting relief from pain is what matters most . . . not staying "safe."

Professionals think that preventing suicide is what really counts. Some of that comes from their fear of criminal liability. The suffering individual wants pain relief or, at least, some pain control. So you ask for help, but you and the professionals can't be on the same page because you have different goals. It can seem like they don't care about the suffering. They just want to stop you from dying - forcibly, if necessary. That can leave you feeling awfully alone.