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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,441
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Jun 13, 2024 at 09:17 AM
#1
Picture scenarios in your head of people around you dying, and the aftermath?
I feel like I do it to prep. I've lost 11 people unexpectedly I've considered myself friends, lovers, or family with at some point, 8 to drugs/driving under the influence (3 I've watched), one to suicide (who I blame myself for because it was after I broke up with her and she told me she was going to do it. I just thought she was manipulating me into getting back together with her, but no, she followed through), and the other two were anaphylaxis and drowning. So, yeah, if on my aunt's birthday I wake up and in my head picture her being murdered, dying by suicide, or just having plain ole' health problems and flip out at my mom for talking shyt about her, not letting me see her, fight about the funeral, it's a way for it to not hit as hard. It might sound like it's just giving me more stress in the moment, but when people have a risky lifestyle, surround themselves with incredibly abusive people, or are getting up there in age, it helps when the inevitable comes. __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
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 Yaowen
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Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
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Jun 13, 2024 at 07:28 PM
#2
@MuddyBoots sorry that you have so many people you have lost in life. That sounds rough to deal with.
Before my parents died I used to imagine how they might die and how I would react. Now that they are gone I do not imagine things like that. I guess I am accepting death more than I used to because the older I get the more people die. CANDC [If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message] __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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Grand Member
Member Since Mar 2020
Location: Northeastern USA
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Jun 13, 2024 at 10:08 PM
#3
I'm so sorry that you lost so many who were close to you!
I went through a period during which I would imagine the "end" of individual things. For example, I'd see a brand new car, and then I'd picture how it would look in 50 years or so, beat up, rusted, in a junkyard. I'd do this with people, too, usually those folks who exuded charm, confidence and vibrant good looks. I did not do this in a vindictive or jealous way. It was just a vision I'd get that this moment of reality was merely temporary and that they'd suffer the same fate as all of those before us. There was an X Files show about a man who could envision the time and manner of death of everyone he met. (And I think his day job was life insurance salesman.)  That sort of rubbed off on me. I've also imagined my own death, and even wrote an obituary for myself.
__________________ Major Depressive Disorder; Sleep Apnea; possibly on the spectrum Nuvigil 50mg; Effexor 37.5mg Wellbutrin 100mg; meds for blood pressure & cholesterol |
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: a place far away
Posts: 891
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Jun 14, 2024 at 08:37 AM
#4
Yes, I do that too. I'm very sorry you've lost so many close to you. I have, too. I guess I'm "preparing" myself for the inevitable.
__________________ Once you are real, you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.... |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
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Jun 14, 2024 at 12:44 PM
#5
I sometimes think what would happen if my husband died first. I hope he doesn't.
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| lizardlady
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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Jun 15, 2024 at 04:57 AM
#6
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| Travelinglady
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Location: Northeastern USA
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Jun 15, 2024 at 10:28 PM
#7
My wife would be absolutely devastated if I died before her. She'd be really upset with me; I bet she'd kill me!
__________________ Major Depressive Disorder; Sleep Apnea; possibly on the spectrum Nuvigil 50mg; Effexor 37.5mg Wellbutrin 100mg; meds for blood pressure & cholesterol |
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