[heathers3ofus]

<font color="orange"> </font> Well, I have been here for a little bit now and haven't given much info on myself yet. So I thought I would.
I have not seen my psychiatrist and will know more once I have of course.

I suspect that I have post traumatic stress disorder, along with disossiated identity disorder.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression several years ago, and was prescribed Paxil and later Welbutrin. Neither really helped me much and now my symptoms are much worse.

I have frequent panic attacks. I feel as though I am gasping and fighting for air and some breath of life. It feels like the walls are closing in and where ever I am (a car, room) is getting smaller and smaller. My heart beats hard and fast, I feel like I will vomit or explode, I shake, cry, rock, my face feels either burning hot or freezing cold, like the color has just run right out of it. These attacks come on out of no where at times and other times I can sense then and somewhat soften the blow. After it is over, I feel in a state of numbness. I am usually unable to talk (at least out of my head--no one ever shuts up in my head). I have to force myself to nod my head or show that I can hear my husband in the background. He says I am nearly catatonic. I know that I can hear him in his panicked voice trying to reach me. But I can not answer him. I talk to myself and try to convince myself that it is OK to come back out and answer him. It's like we have a meeting inside my head. It used to be really creepy. Now, I am used to it.

Well, that is my story in a nutshell. I go to see the psych tomorrow. I will let you know what happens. Thanks for listening.

Heathers (3 of us)

[(JD)]

Welcome Heathers3ofus! Yes, dissociation is a part of the terrible PTSD... and our forums here are great support for all of that... the anxiety too! I used to have such severe panic attacks but there is medicine for that too. Hope you have a good session with your T.

[Rapunzel]

Welcome Heathers,

Thanks for the introduction. It is nice to meet you. I'm very interested in what your psychiatrist has to say.

If you don't mind me asking (please let me know if you do), what is it like to have panic attacks when you have DID? Do all of you experience it together? What do you talk about in your head? Is there any ability to comfort each other? I am very sorry that you go through that experience - I know that it must be awful.

I do hope that you are comfortable here, and that you find some good support in this group. It is really a great group, and has helped me a lot.

Wendy