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Old May 12, 2008, 01:01 AM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is offline
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Each day, I wake in a panic and realize he is gone. I begin to tell myself I will not see him again on Earth. But, as I look around at what nature holds I see him. He is in the blooming Iris' growing in our yard. His laughter is in the wind. I see his strength in a summer storm.

I find myself reflecting on the trials of our relationship. Heartache consumes me when I remember the last words I recall speaking to him. My heart was cold that day. There was a layer of ice which wrapped around my soul, devouring any warmth I had in my heart for the things we had experienced together.

A simple man, he taught me to rely on myself. He did not have the courage to be there for me when I needed him the most. A part of me feels he left me at a time when I needed him to step up and be my dad. He never fought to keep me in his life, but how could I leave it?

He was not perfect. He made some bad choices, hurting those closest to him. But, in the end, he was my dad. Without him, I would not be here. I guess thats all I really need, huh?
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  #2  
Old May 12, 2008, 06:42 AM
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MyBestKids2 MyBestKids2 is offline
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Beautifully worded!

(((HALLIEBETH87))
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Parce que maman l'a dit
  #3  
Old May 12, 2008, 08:45 AM
50guy 50guy is offline
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As a Dad, that was a very nice memorial.
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Old May 12, 2008, 08:50 AM
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((((((((((((( Hallie ))))))))))))))
I've had some time to think about you I've had some time to think about you
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  #5  
Old May 12, 2008, 11:39 AM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is offline
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thanks
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schizoaffective bipolar type
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generalized anxiety d/o

haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin
  #6  
Old May 12, 2008, 12:14 PM
Anonymous091825
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((((((((((HALLIEBETH87 )))))))))))))))))))
*tears come to me*
sounds very like mine
You really are important
ty
muffy
  #7  
Old May 12, 2008, 12:35 PM
nowheretorun nowheretorun is offline
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(((((((halliebeth)))))))))) that was written very touchingly, i know the emotions were right there in your fingertips as you wrote the words, lovingly expressed... thank you very much, it reminds me of my own dad in many ways, how i adore him still.... take care always sweet one... no doubt you remember your Dad exactly as he would want you to...
  #8  
Old May 12, 2008, 01:36 PM
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Soidhonia Soidhonia is offline
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(((Hallie))). It is nice that you could share these feelings with us at Psych Central. It is good to see you posting and sharing with others that care for your well being. Take care PM anytime. Soidhonia
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  #9  
Old May 12, 2008, 05:03 PM
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((((Hallie)))))

thanks for sharing those touching words ...

I feel this is going to help alot of people realize how to let go - and choose love.

beautiful

nightbird
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I did not know I held so much goodness.
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  #10  
Old May 12, 2008, 06:37 PM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is offline
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I sat in the cemetery just a while ago. Seated in his 'yard' I felt the breeze in my hair and ran my fingers through the grass I planted a bit ago. I felt him. The sunlight through the trees helped me open up and speak to him. I hope he heard.
__________________
schizoaffective bipolar type
PTSD
generalized anxiety d/o

haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin
  #11  
Old May 12, 2008, 06:54 PM
50guy 50guy is offline
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Oh, he heard you. I am sure of it.
  #12  
Old May 12, 2008, 09:00 PM
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Sometimes our parents don't always give us what we need...they are only human.

I've had some time to think about you
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