<font color="purple">Well, my friends and I were fooling around during lunch (as per usual) and then one of my friends said something about not being able to spell.

And then woah. Flashback. It was literaly a flash of a memory.

You see, I may be a fairly gifted (albeit a bit lazy and disorganized) student, but years ago...ehrn I was little, I was really the dumb kid in the class. I swear I was one of the most well-read, I didn't really have many friends and didn't like to socialize so I pretty much spent my free time in school either reading a book about some animal (because back then I really did love animals...more then other people) but...I digress, had got to be one of the stupidest kids. It's kind of ironic because I remember in second grade I was a straight A student and in 3rd grade I'd struggle for C's. I couldn't tell time, I couldn't multiply or divide very well (Infact, I didn't learn all those thigs completely until the 6th grade!), I was a good writer, but my spelling was atrocious.

Which leads me to the flashback. My teacher must have been either really tired, really frustrated, or both. She asked me to spell some simple word. And well, I didn't want to look bad so I told her I could. EVERY SINGLE TIME she told me to spell the word (for the record, it was "Doesn't ") I would spell it wrong. And I swear, every time I spelled it wrong, she'd get more and more frustrated with me, and I'd get more and more worked up. It felt like she was harassing me over some stupid word.

I mean, she held me to the same standards as everyone else, and then get's frustrated that I never met them, even WITH the extra help. Heck, i don't know why but as long as I have ever been in school, having teachers being upset with me has always caused an incredible amount of stress, to the point were I had a melt-down over forgetting my homework!

Everything that I've ever done, was to prove myself. To prove to the other kids my age that I wasn't retarded, that I could try to be as smart or as athletic as them (maybe even moreso!) to prove that I was worthy of their love.

This recollection makes me feel pretty down </font>

[gimmeice]

(((((((((((((( Kaika )))))))))))))))))
I'm sorry you are feeling down.

<font color="purple"> Thanks, I'm feeling a bit better now after litsening to some music. </font>

*hugs*