So anyways, I hadn't told anyone here yet, but ever since October my mom, step-dad, brother and I were all going to go to N.Carolina for Christmas instead of gifts. We were going to see my grandma and aunt down there, and mom's old friend from back when she was my age, and do all sorts of things. I was all excited because I've never travelled anywere south on NY before and it was going to be a lot of fun.

Well, as it turns out they told me tonight that the plans were canceled, that we'd just have a regular Christmas at home because grandma decided to entertain some of my aunts on the same days we were going to be together.

Geez, I almost started crying because it's something we had been looking forward to for months. My step-dad says I'm going on a school trip later this year anyways (the location I'm saving for a suprise here!) but I said that wasn't the point, to which he replied that that's one of the points I gotta look at and ***** happens.

Anyways, I managed to cheer up pretty quickly for a little bit but it's just sad. I mean, for what has to been at least 3-4 months now we've been talking about this and then 22 days until it actually happens it just gets dropped. Then to say "oh well don't get too upset over it because crap like this happens and we'll just go some other time" I guess I was the only person who really had their heart set out on going...

[SeptemberMorn]

I don't get it. Didn't your grandma know you were coming? And if she's entertaining some of your aunts, they have to be your mom's sisters or sisters-in-law, right? So the more the merrier, I would say. Like I said, I don't get what the problem is.

I guess the problem would be that my grandma lives in Georgia so we'd all have to drive down to her house down there if we wanted to see her I dunno either, but that's what they said.

[nowheretorun]

((Kaika))))) it is so hard when we are dependent on others for a sense of happiness.. while we are young or because of some other reason we may find ourself temporarily (sometimes permanently) challenged to accept....

in this time we can learn some stuff... remember that you will grow and you do have some control about choices even when young, but there will still be those times even when we are full age....

acceptance is the way to get through the current moment sometimes...

its ok to misunderstand, have mixed feelings, not know what it is you feel yet.. we are all growing and each of us matters....

in time you will learn the 'give and take' of it and then you will ave developed some inner instincts...

until then, accept that we are growing and allow yourself to not understand...

in time, with carefulness, sensitivity, and sensibility, relationships with others can improve... its about knowing what you want and trying to get it for yourself... if its not meant to happen the way you are trying now, it can happen a different way... consider as many of the others involved as you are able to and with some prayer, hopefully they get that you are not selfish, just learning... communication (sensitively and carefully) will show others that you are not only concerned, but also intelligent and conscious of others...

sending you positive vibes always

[youOme]

well, think of it this way, at least you'll have a Christmas and you can all be together....other trips and stuff will come another time.