Okay. I need advice big time.

My best friend and I haven't talked much since I left the city. She used to be one of my drug buddies too. Im out of that scene, but she is still struggling, although not around her child.

"lindsay" I will call her, and i talked tonight for the first time in a few months. We caught up and stuff.

Background: Lindsay has a five year old deaf and autistic daughter. Her ex husband takes her sometimes but he works alot so most of the time lindsay is with the child.

Ok, tonight when I talked to lindsay, she broke down. She didn't cry, but she expressed that she was thinking about giving her daughter up and was having trouble looking after her. She also said she was still doing drugs and was "at the point where I don't care". she mentioned that she was considering prostitution and just wanted to be free for a while on her own. She spoke of how frustrated she was with her daughter, how she was spanking her too much, and how she just couldnt handle it. She spoke of the fact that she was on a mental ward just weeks ago and in the hospital several times from doing too much cocaine. Note here she doesn't use when she has her daughter, she is a weekend warrior.

When lindsays daughter was in the background screaming, lindsay got very frustrated. She screamed at her to shutup. The child is almost totally deaf but I still think she is at the end of her rope. She is involved already with CPS and they are doing nothing for her - she even called and told them she was at the point where she felt it was not safe to leave her daughter with her, as she couldn't handle it.

Im seriously considering making a report to CPS - not because I want her daughter taken away fully but because I KNOW she just doesnt have the help she needs to take care of such a special needs child. She needs help, she needs respite workers and social help with her.

What would you people do? Would you report anonymously or would you do something else?

[AAAAA]

I think if she's admitted to you that she's at the end of her rope and has been abusing her daughter (which over discipline is in my opinion) then I'd definately call. Someone has to speak up for the child. I don't know how the laws are there, but is it possible that your complaint will get her into parenting classes to help her deal with a special needs child?

I'd call the father too, maybe he doesn't realize how desperate she is.

[bebop]

I agree with aaaa that if you know the dad you should call him first. give him the chance to take custody of the child first. calling cps is to me only if the other parent does not want the child either.

(Rain)))))))))))))) i think i agree with everyone intervention sounds like it is more than needed. Sounds like your friend was crying out for help.
She needs it imo
Such a hard spot for you ,, but you are helping the little girl and the mom
You said the daughter is 5 years old and deaf and autistic. I can almost say with 100% that little girl can read lips. I know she feels the spankyings.
My son at that age read lips. They thought he was deaf too.

I think the Mom needs help and forsure the child. As with all thats going on with her
this will harm her lots. It would a child with no issues imo

[sabby]

A call to CPS I believe is warranted at this point. It sounds like a bad thing waiting to happen. This could be the best thing that could happen for both your friend and her daughter. I do know how hard it must feel for you right now, but I think your gut is already telling you what to do


sabby

[Rhapsody]

Originally Posted by Rainbowzz

What would you people do?
Would you report anonymously or would you do something else?

If you know the father or any of her family members I would contact one of them before I would call CPS and possible have the child put through more emotional trauma than is needed - damage to the child can be avoided if some one else would be wiling to care for the child.

(one of my older sisters help me out with my kids during the 1st year of my mental breakdown)

[silentandscared]

((((((((((((((((Rainbowzz))))))))))))

What a hard situation for you to be in........my heart goes out to you.
In this situation l too feel that your friend is desparate for help and is reaching out for someone to help her with caring for her child and with maybe her own issues to..........l think you know that you either need to contact the father and if that is not an option then the cps. When we are struggling so bad it can be very hard to say STOP....SOMEONE HELP.....this l think she in her own way is doing through you.....hopefully something good can come from this......when l first went into hospital after my partner died my parents took my son to prevent him going into careand he was there for a year and a half...........by taking these first steps at least there is hope that one day all can get back on track and both your friend and her daughter will remain safe and recieve the care they both need.

Take care dear sweet Rainbowzz you and your friend and her daughter will be high in my prayers

Mandyxx

[multipixie9]

Call the dad or family of child if you can. If you can't get them or they will not step in, please call CPS as soon as possible.

This could flip to life and death seriousness in a minute's time and this child is powerless and already suffering seriously.

I agree with all the posters who said they believe this could be the mom's cry for help. It would be so hard to say outright - "save my child from me", but it sounds like a sideways statement of the same thing.

One thing that haunts me to this day was that NO ONE EVER stood up for me and tried to help me. I just posted about that in fact. It still hurts me.

Since she has already told you that she has contacted the CPS (I assume they are the social services ? ) then I would contact them with your concerns and then phone her up and say you have backed her up and also told the CPS ! That you also had a go at them for not responding to her cry for help ! That she was right to ask for help and you will help her in anyway she needs it.....

[madisgram]

(((((rainbowzz)))) what a good friend you are! imho, i'd call cps and file a report in behalf of lindsey's daughter. i think it's your call re whether to do this anonymously or not but lindsey may get help if you give your name and are willing to walk this thru with her.(if it were me in your situation i'd personally go this route, imho.) clearly lindsey needs help too but i'm not sure if cps is the place to get that help for your friend. perhaps they can get her help or steer her in the right direction. but having the child in a safe environment is of utmost urgency. i think your judgement is right on. please keep us posted on how things go.

[AAAAA]

CPS is Child Protective Services. I personally would leave my name. If you feel strongly enough to call, you should give them the added benefit of having a named complaintant.

[SeptemberMorn]

Whether you call the child's dad first or not, that little girl needs a voice, Hon. Please be her voice!

If you call CPS, they'll investigate relatives to see who is most fit and who wants to care for that little girl.

Your friend also needs help. Maybe she'll listen to you.

[Slippers]

Calling CPS is anonymous - they can't tell her who called.

Any chance of an update ? I know it must be hard for you but we are all here for you .....