[thunderbear]

Yup he did.
I keep this composition notebook and write down my thoughts feelings, or just little notes in it. Well he took it to school so he would have doodle paper and the teacher took it from him. Well she read it. Then gave it to the school counseler and she read it. I am really kinda pissed that they kept reading it even after they figured out what it was. There was nothing bad in it but there were very personal things in it about my depression and PTSD and panic disorder. Well I live in a very small town of about 500 people. And now I don't even want to show my self at the school. The counseler came by the house but I was out paying the light bill. Well then I called her and she talked to me for about a half hour offering her services. This is stressing me out.

[Rmdctc]

I am so sorry. I hope they understand that it is private and will not share it with anyone. Did you talk with them about that?

[jerrymichele]

I would call the principle and have a talk about your privacy. They look like the idiots. I would be upset also.

[Elysium]

Woah!!!

That is a complete breach of privacy and confidentiality!! As soon as either of them realized that it was a journal, regardless of whether they knew who it belonged to, they should have had the professionalism and respect to close the thing and contact the owner.

I would not only call and speak with the school administrator, but I would also contact the school board and file a report and if the school psychologist was attempting to solicit you as a client, I would raise some hell about that too. It's one thing to offer an ear to someone if they feel they need some support...but to attempt to facilitate a therapeutic relationship after such a breach of trust is just....pathetic.

[eskielover]

Wow,

Kentucky has some very sad professionals around with no value systems at all.....know what you mean about the small towns though....I thought the town I moved to was small, but 500......that's not just small that's tiny.....guess everyone knows everyone else & figures it's everthing is everyone's business.....BUT IT ISN'T!!!!

I know it's got to be awkward to file a complaint in such a small town.....but I really think because of the principle involved...breech of privacy......some action really does need to be taken.....as far as the councelor.....I would nicely tell her "thanks, but I have a therapist that I see & after your lack of professionalism, you would be the last person I would ask for any help."

We are fighting the Library system in Nicholasville......my friend was the person along with another library employee that they fired for taking the the graphic novel off the hold of an 11 year old girls library card......Their complete agenda is to get the policy changed & not to file a wrongful termination suit against the library even though it was according to the state it was a wrongful termination.....they were supposed to be put on the library board meetings agenda....but right before the meeting, they were taken off the agenda & told that they wouldn't be allowed to talk unless they signed a waiver relieving the Library of legal reponibility regarding their wrongful termination.....gee, if they did that, they wouldn't have anything to hold over the library boards head to get the policy changed....mind you, there were two older grandmother type ladies......a professor from Asbury college went up to the board after the meeting (I was standing there being a fly on the wall)....he told them by not letting the people speak, they were going to only escalate the situation rather than to dispurse the problem......the board director actually had the nerve to say that they didn't want to bring up anything at the meeting as they would only end up bring up something against the ladies....they always had perfect reviews & everything.....never even got a repremand.......don't know what in the world is wrong with the professional people in this state, but they sure have no MORAL values.....just as those in your son's school didn't have any moral values by reading your journal. People around this state need to be reminded of the values they have seemingly lost. You have a right to be angry at the school teacher & counselor....I feel bad for your son innocently taking it to have doodle paper.....guess doodle paper isn't something they allow them to have in school.

who knows, maybe we will see you on TV news fighting your fight.....just like channel 36 interviewed the ladies after the meeting they weren't allowed to speak at. We have many people in the legal area coming up to support this cause.....the whole community is up in arms against the library board also.

We gotta take action against these people who want to get rid of moral & ethical values for their own gain. You know your town & how the people work better than we all do.....but I know I would find a way to take action against what the did to you.


Debbie

[Maven]

I'm with Elysium. I'd raise holy hell! Even if were my daughter's journal that they read...that's just crossing the line.

[thunderbear]

Originally Posted by Rmdctc

I am so sorry. I hope they understand that it is private and will not share it with anyone. Did you talk with them about that?

Yeah. I told her that I did'nt think it was right and she said "well I only skimmed it." But she was mentioning things in it that was'nt just "skimming" the words. I told her I already have a therapist and she said "well in case you need some extra support from a couseler..." I thought that school counselers were for the kids not the parents. Now I am worried that they may be looking at the way I parent and the welfare of my kid because of my mental illness. I have no proof that they are but still.

[phoenix47baby]

Thunderbear,

I would write a professional business letter to the principal of the school and send a copy to the counselor and let them know that while you appreciate their support, the journal contents are of a private nature and you would appreciate that they respect your right to privacy and that the matter is not open for further discussion. good luck. sending good thoughts your way. phoenix47baby

[Nypheria]

Its time to get very very mad. I mean, call up the school board and scream. She isnt even a real Dr. she is a SCHOOL COUNCILOR! That would beyond tip me over the edge.

Ignorance of a school system.

[Yoda]

Originally Posted by Elysium3006

Woah!!!

That is a complete breach of privacy and confidentiality!! As soon as either of them realized that it was a journal, regardless of whether they knew who it belonged to, they should have had the professionalism and respect to close the thing and contact the owner.

I would not only call and speak with the school administrator, but I would also contact the school board and file a report and if the school psychologist was attempting to solicit you as a client, I would raise some hell about that too. It's one thing to offer an ear to someone if they feel they need some support...but to attempt to facilitate a therapeutic relationship after such a breach of trust is just....pathetic.

What she said.

[VickiesPath]

Remember the movie, "Fried Green Tomatoes" with the 'law' coming over from Georgia? I keep getting a picture of those people on the school board strong-arming the public. Ewwww. Anyway, so sorry this happened. What a crock.

[deliquesce]

OMG!!!

i would write a formal letter of complaint to the school administrative board & principal, and cc: the 'counsellor' and school teacher in. they need to know what they did was compeltely unacceptable and that throwing out b.s. excuses like only "skimming" it only further attests to their refusal to take responsibility for doing something wrong.

i am so, so sorry this has happened to you, sweetie. i guess the other question/thought is whether you have told your therapist? maybe she has some better ideas on how to approach this, or whether it is best to leave it alone? what are your thoughts on the matter?

[thunderbear]

Originally Posted by deliquesce

OMG!!!

i would write a formal letter of complaint to the school administrative board & principal, and cc: the 'counsellor' and school teacher in. they need to know what they did was compeltely unacceptable and that throwing out b.s. excuses like only "skimming" it only further attests to their refusal to take responsibility for doing something wrong.

i am so, so sorry this has happened to you, sweetie. i guess the other question/thought is whether you have told your therapist? maybe she has some better ideas on how to approach this, or whether it is best to leave it alone? what are your thoughts on the matter?

Thanks deliquesce . I want to write a letter or make a call but like I said I live in such a small town. I am going to tell my doc Tuesday. This happened in between appointments. I am stuck between wanting to raise hell or letting it lay.

[AAAAA]

I cannot even comprehend what excuse the teacher had for 1) reading it (past figuring out what it was) and 2) handing it off to the counselor!!!! I'm with the rest, I'd raise hell. And have a chat with my child about privacy.

[Pomegranate]

((((((Thunderbear))))))) I'm so sorry this happened to you. I would wait and talk it over with my T before deciding how to react to this, simply because you do live in such a small town.

[lynn P.]

I'm so sorry this happened ((Thunderbear)). This is extremely unprofessional and they should be ashamed of themselves. All it would have taken this teacher - is to imagine how she would feel if this was her journal at her own childs school. I agree with all the others and I think you should at least tell the principal. I also like Pomegranite's suggestion of talking to your doctor first for moral support and by that time your emotions will have cooled - and you'll know what's the best action to take. Shame on them for doing this!!!

Maybe I shouldn't ask this, Thunderbear, but you seem like a cool person, so I will.

Do you see the humor in this situation, yet? If not, I bet you do someday. It is funny because it is so personally mortifying.

Seeing the humor in humiliating situations is incredibly healing, in my opinion. Is there a better way to cope?

I involuntarily snorted with laughter when I read the name of this thread -- "My Son Took My Journal to School" -- b/c I couldn't help but perceive the inherent comedy in the situation . . . along with a sympathetic pang of horror for your position.

If this isn't a funny story for you yet, I bet it will be one day. You'll tell your grandkids about it when describing what a scamp their father was.

Mike

I cannot believe this happened to you. Like the others have said, I would write a letter to the school board and the superintendant of schools. If you have a board of selectmen, I would cc it to them also. That is totally unacceptable!! The privacy isues and breech of boundaries is enormous.
Please don't let this get swept under the rug. Individual privacy has all but disappeared today and this needs to stop.
Did you have a talk with your son about your private things and asking before he takes something? It was an innocent mistake on his part, but even young kids need to learn about privacy.
I hope there is a way to put this behind you. Hold your head up. You did nothing wrong. The administration of the school should feel like crawling into a corner, not you.

[miray]

I am so very sorry this happened to you thunderbear. It is completely unprofessional and I agree with everyone else. Don't let them sweep this under the rug. Even if they had your best interest at heart and read it out of concern for you, it was not their call to make. I wish you the best of luck with this.

[lizardlady]

Thunderbear, my first thought was to recommend you raise rightous cane about the situation. Having read ebveryone's responses I changed my mind. I think the idea of discussing this with your doc before taking any action is good advice. It will give you a valid second opinion and give you time to respond. As part of my job I work in a small community, though not as small as yours, where everybody knows everybody else's business. I understand your concern for possible repercussions if you protest what happened too loudly.

That said, I would like to suggest you report the school counselor to the state board. What they did was not only a violation of your privacy, solicitaing you as a client was grossly unethical.

[liljamie23]

That is so horribly wrong of all of them. I am very sorry. I hope they realize what pathetic excuses for school employees they are.

Why did the teacher take it up in the first place? Seems odd.

Anyway, the teacher shouldn't have read it. Once she realized what it was, the only appropriate thing to do was to stop reading it and give it back to the student. The only reason I can see for giving it to the counselor is if she thought it was the student's journal and there was something that the teacher felt needed to be addressed by the counselor. (I can see this happenning if the student was older.) But it sounds like the student was younger and it was clear that this belonged to you and not your son.

If it was clear this was yours, the teacher stepped out of line by taking it to the counselor. I can see if the teacher, again, felt there was something in the journal that concerned her about the student maybe taking it to the counselor, but otherwise no.

School counselors do support students, but also spend time supporting the parents of their students. That's not unusual. Was the counselor really trying to solicit you as a paying client? If so, that would be out of line, but if she was just offering her support, she was within her duties.

Bottom line, neither should have read any further once they realized what they had. I'd talk it over with my therapist first though.

[Rhapsody]

I may be the only one that feels thing way.... but I think the teacher did what she did out of concern for you and your well being and nothing else, hence why she handed the journal over to a professional.

I kind of get that feeling too. I think all concerned meant well, but they handled it poorly. Sometimes the best intentions go awry.

[eskielover]

I am sure you already know this by now after the journal accidentally being taken to school, but I think I would take some very artistic ability & draw all over your journal book that it is MOM's JOURNAL....PRIVATE PROPERTY.....that way your son won't accidentally pick it up as a book for scratch paper. Those composition notebooks are all so generic.....that would make it personally yours without this accident happening again.

Hope your chat with your T on Tuesday went well & you got some feedback on how best to handle this situation.

Debbie