Love

What does love mean to you in friendship, especially unconditional love?

simple caring and helping works for me (((fuzzy))))) .. we should never keep score but only try to share a goodness together for each and in that way we each can matter to each other and offer the kindness that might be missing between us... love is the healer, kindness the path, understanding the doorway and hope is the bond...

Wow, very well said. Thank you for that. ((( nwtr ))) ((( fuzzy )))

listening with your heart, even in the face of the unknown.

good topic, fuzzybear!!
i've been very blessed to have some pretty awesome long time friends. in a perfect world friends would love us unconditonally. in my little world, my friends really do too!! gosh knows i have my faults but their friendships have been long lasting in spite of myself! i feel the very same way about them also. we've been there to pick up the pieces of our lives together many, many times. i know i am never alone altho most of my very, very best friends live miles away from me now. my new friends know not to call me on weekends too early cause they know i'm on the phone with my old friends. we chat at least once a week. some i have not phsycially seen in 10 years but they continue to call me and me them. we value our relationship. we respect each other. we support each other in good times and not so good itmes. several years ago i lost two of my very best friends within 3 months of each other. they were up in age and "time" just caught up with them. it was difficult to feel the loss of them in my life but i have photos on my wall of both of them.
many years ago in therapy i discovered my dysfunctional family was not always the best people for me to hang around with for any length of time in one sitting. (imagine that!) so i made myself a "new family" made up of friends. when i told them i was moving over 1000 miles away they were sad but they wished me well and said they would stay in touch and they have. my life is so enriched by having those very special friends in my life even today.

Fuzzybear - I'm not trying to rain on your parade - but I'm in a hurtin' kind of place right now.

The only unconditional love I'm aware of is the kind our pets bring to our life.

I can only speak for myself...I just seem to be incapable of consistently understanding or maintaining unconditional love in any relationship. Historically I find a way to run amok in all my relationships. A clear pattern of self sabotage prevails and continually I bang my head on the wailing wall of what could have been.

The abandonment issues are many.

notz your signature is a good thought of ways you can improve on your relationships with others. i think many of us bear the scars of the past, some we have worked on in therapy and some not. hopefully you can regain trust in others and find "what could have been" really comes true!

(((((((( fuzzybear )))))))))

To me unconditional love in friendship means that I care enough to know that times wont always be sunny and yet I still want to be there to share the bad times along with the good. To know that no matter what I will still care for them and they will still care for me, no matter how bad things get is a very comforting feeling.

Love to me is giving never ever taking.

For two people to be in love with each other is a beautiful thing.

As for unconditional love well thats a hard one to live with, its easier if you apply it to your children but to anyone else its not so easy. (for me anyways)

((fuzzy))))
being there for your friend, listening, loving, caring, letting them know they matter even if at times we may not agree. Letting them know I feel thier pain when they hurt,
unconditional love ,,,,,no strings attached I love being that persons friend for them being them.
Love comes from our hearts and souls...its a very precious gift all of us give to each other. One of the biggest......

((((((((fuzzy)))))))))))))))))) what a loving person you are

((((((FUZZYBEAR))))))))))))

((((((((((((((fuzzy))))))))))))))
unconditional love is like my friendship with you..no expectation just sincerely care to each other and love means to me is such a kind loyalty and gift that you give to your heart that make your soul brighter and alive

As long as people aren't asking me if i'm all right, i am alright.

I just noticed this old post.

Weighing in on this.....

If someone were trapped in a fire that I didn't even know, would I try to save them if it cost me my own life....probably would if I could see a way to do it at the time. That is unconditional love for someone one doesn't even know.

I picked up a young guy whose bike was broken walking along the highway road I didn't know. Was going to just drive him home but found out he actually lived several hours drive away & it was almost night time. Grilled dinner & gave him a place to sleep & clean up over the night. He went to church the next morning with me & drove him home after that. He was so thankful just to have someone care & listen to him. That is what seems to me unconditional love without knowing the person.

Along those lines, I care for my EX-H but was & am wise enough not to let that caring destroy my own future life & I will do what is necessary to protect what ever inheritance our daughter can get cause he only has debt. Sometimes we still have to put conditions on our caring when it is the wisest thing to do when we know what WILL HAPPEN when we don't. Doesn't mean I don't wish my ex the best he can do & won't talk down about him to our daughter. Just means I am smart enough to care about me rather than allowing someone to destroy my life.

I actually depend on my gut feeling to determine how I respond to situations. Had a guy walking along my road after seeing a car abandoned in the middle of the road. Didn't allow him inside my truck to take him where he wanted to go but allowed him to jump into the bed of the truck. Very careful with people around here associated with houses I know have a drug issue.

My community is pretty much a very unconditional caring one. I rescued a dog that had been in a bad accident across the road from my farm. Got vet help & fostered the dog for several months until his owner was out of the hospital. Community had a fund raiser (first year I moved here) to help me pay for the vet bill. A friend mowed my front field after I had broken my back. I have been working & exhausted & a neighbor picked up a huge branch from my tree that blew down in a storm. Another neighbor mowed much of my front field. I have mowed for them last year. We farm sit for each other when needed & just do it cause we care.

I have special friends who are my family & we do look out for each other. Other friends, we look out for each other cause we do care & the rural community I live in is just like this.

Unlike Calif where neighbors didn't even know neighbors.

I know that "unconditional" love is supposed to be the goal, but I don't feel it should be.

I will love someone as long as they treat me well. If they start to take advantage or become abusive, then the love should stop. Does that mean I put conditions on love? Absolutely! But that is a good thing. When I think of unconditional love, I think of people who stay in abusive relationships to keep a vow even though it is hurting them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by downandlonely I know that "unconditional" love is supposed to be the goal, but I don't feel it should be. I will love someone as long as they treat me well. If they start to take advantage or become abusive, then the love should stop. Does that mean I put conditions on love? Absolutely! But that is a good thing. When I think of unconditional love, I think of people who stay in abusive relationships to keep a vow even though it is hurting them.

I think that is part of the problem with the English language. There are different kinds of love & we limit our thinking to one kind. This article gives insight into 3 different kinds of "love" where unconditional can be applied
3 Types of Love: Eros, Agape, and Philos

I touched more on Agape love in my post

I did more of the agape in the past too, but it led to me being used by other people. And I wasn't happy. I've never really done eros. I'm more in the philos type now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by downandlonely I did more of the agape in the past too, but it led to me being used by other people. And I wasn't happy. I've never really done eros. I'm more in the philos type now.

I do more of the agape but then they are one time in passing situations where I never see or interface with the person again. I JUST SEE THERE IS A NEED FOR HELP & I step in, do what is needed, then Ibam gone after I know there is other help or it is resolved.

The druggies up at the barn where I was keeping my horse would have taken advantage but I made myself ONLY AVAILABLE ON MY TERMS. That solved that problem because I wasn't someone they could continually depend on & I was firm in my boundaries including with my horse. They also never knew when I was going to show up even at 2am in the morning & they knew I know the sheriff if I needed backup.

When I feel someone is taking advantage, I immediately pull my availability & become busy with something else leaving me to help at my own discression. That always keeps my life under my control while allowing for helping others if needed