[neri]

recognize these feelings?

getting annoyed by something just makes u frustrated and u feel helpless and it makes u wanna cry, frustration itself does that too

listening people argue gives u shortness of breath and u want to just scream "shut up! shut up shut up shutupshutupshutuuuuup!!!!", or alternatively put your hands on your ears, close your eyes and go "LALALALALALALALALALAALALALA" ...or a mixture of those two

listening people talk loud and raising their voices on top of one another (even when joking or other positive) gives u shortness of breath and u want out out out out out...

u can't tolerate haste and urgency, crowds and rush hours are hell

schedules make u nervous, if there is a spesific time u need to be somewhere u can't stop watching the clock and your heart races. U can't eat before. If it's in the "morning" (=anywhere close to the time u normally wake up) u can't sleep before it either

oyh.. blah those are some of the reasons i don't think i could jump back in the "stream" of normal life... A little unrelated to that, have you trouble focusing on driving? I'm so afraid i crash to a car or kill a pedestrian cuz i often just suddenly totally lose my focus and stare like some dog or a person walking or whatever.. Someone could well jump on the road when i'm not looking, or a car could slow down or stop (that has happened too)

[vacantangel]

Yes, I definitely recognize most of what you've listed. I'm also not ready to go back into the mainstream of life. Too stressful for me.

Laura, I feel the same way from time to time. Unfortunately for me when I feel that way I have to suffer through it so I can get through work. I'm sorry you feel this way and that it affects your life the way it does. I hope that you are soon able to get some help and learn to find the love and happiness that you deserve. Much love.

Ryan

[neri]

yeah... some of the reasons i kept having anxiety attacks in school. But i just stopped going there then. Not much of a fighter

Laura, you are a fighter, you just don't see it yet. But I do... I know it's in you. Take care of yourself sweety.

Ryan

[jbug]

neriz......I totally understand what you are saying. Monday when I had my bankruptcy hearing I couldn't sleep for anything and its a good thing my dad drove me because I almost fell asleep on the way home. I was worried I'd sleep through my alarm or the power would go out and I wouldn't know it and I'd sleep to long etc. I worry about the stupidest of things sometimes and wonder if I am losing my mind.

Janniebug

[neri]

yeah, i TOTALLY get it.. if i have to wake with my alarm i either can't get sleep, or i get sleep but during the night i wake up like a million times in panic trying to find the clock, certain i've overslept

I actually tried to go to school in the evening a couple of times, cuz i had fallen asleep during some tv show, and then wake up like a hour later, thinking it's 8 AM instead of pm, and totally freaking out and like flying out of the door...

i don't get where these time issues came from i can't even wear a watch these days, cuz even if i didn't have to go anywhere i wouldn't be able to stop looking at the clock and feeling nervous....

i guess i'm just an extremely nervous person