[thephysacist]

I had been suffering with a mental illness for a long time. I was about 12, I knew nothing of mental disorders, and I realise I need some help. I went to a psychiatrist and said things I think "crazy people would say" They said I was faking it and I got really upset.

It haunts me. What if I had just been honest?

Anyone had a problem with something like this?

I just cant get over it.

[Rhapsody]

I find that we must always be honest with our T if we are truly wanting to heal.

[314159pi]

yes no one wanted to admit i was crazy because it was cheaper to blame and abuse and haze me than it would be to spend money on doctors to solve my problems.
the abuse made it worse of course.
i am a very big boy now and my life is on track.
so sorry for your problems dear.

[possum220]

When I was in my teens I knew something was wrong and I tried to tell people but just kept on getting brushed aside with the words - "there's nothing wrong with you". I got shut down so many times that I began to believe I was wrong and I stopped asking for help.

I landed in hospital years later. It really hurts being dismissed.

Regardless of what you said or how you said it, some-one should have recognized that you needed help. It wasn't your fault you got a doctor that wasnt really listening.

I hope you have found some-one to help you now. You do have a voice and we are listening.

Possum

[Rapunzel]

If you didn't need help, you wouldn't have gone to a psychiatrist and tried to appear crazy. That isn't something that people do for no reason. At 12, you must have been worried that you wouldn't be taken seriously if you youst told the truth. I would guess that you have been invalidated a lot, and that someone maybe even told you that you didn't have a serious enough problem to get help. And it must have hurt all the more when you tried to get help and didn't get taken seriously because of the way you presented yourself. You were hurting and needed someone to recognize that you needed help. That's real.

People do everything for a reason. As kids we don't know that what we have to do to function in the environment we know doesn't work well in another environment. As adults, we often still don't know that, or aren't able to put it into practice.

[Junerain]

Please do not let it haunt you anymore.....I made up things, too......I did even crazier things in the name of GETTING VALIDATION......that is all we all want, ever needed............

You are validated here. This is such a caring community! My past was bad, but I am trying to leave it there in the PAST where it came from and be HAUNTED by it, to learn whatever one can learn, but MOVE ON..

I have found this website very helpful.....perhaps you could learn & grow here.....how is your PRESENT situation, do you feel you are happy now, understood now?I feel a kindred spirit in you

[thephysacist]

thanks guys. Your touching words brought tears to my eyes.

I know now that I'm not alone.

[Elysium]

Hey you

My Father, Mother, and older Brother were all in therapy because my Brother was in to drugs and my dad was abusive...etc. I was told to go out and play and not make any noise while the therapy sessions were going on.....NOT INCLUDED.

Then once my parents divorced a few years later, I got into therapy and was doing well with it. Just when I started getting into the important stuff that would have helped...my father decided he didn't want to pay the extra $50.00 a month to keep my mental health insurance so he canceled it. EXCLUDED

Before my parents got divorced, when the situation was at it's worst, I walked about a mile to a gas station and risked getting my butt beat. I had .25 cents with me. I looked up the phone number to children's welfare and services, called and actually got to speak with a live Social Worker. I told her I needed to place myself up for adoption. SHE LAUGHED....then she hung up. She could have asked me a million questions...or just one simple one..."Why?" But no.....DENIED

I was constantly ignored and overlooked...these were just a few examples. I can empathize with your post. Unfortunately...

Originally Posted by Junerain

Please do not let it haunt you anymore.....I made up things, too......I did even crazier things in the name of GETTING VALIDATION......that is all we all want, ever needed............

I did too. I was young, and scared, and needed help, but was told by my abuser that I would be killed if I told. So, I made things up. I needed help, needed someone to hear me and help me, and didn't know how else to get it.

Honestly, it ate at me for years - and years and years. I hated that I had lied. When I finally started seeing a therapist a year and a half ago, one of the first things I told him was that when I was a young teen, I made things up. He did the most wonderful thing. He validated me, he told me that I was looking for the things I deserved - love, acceptance, help - the only way I knew how. He took away my shame. I was young and didn't know what else to do. So were you, rudicollis. It's okay.

Do you have a T now??

[kaytibear]

How horrible not to be validated. You were only 12 and at 12 we do and say things that aren't wise . The pdoc should have wondered what made you lie. It's their job to get to the root of things and that one sure didn't. You are older now and I am sure make better choices.

Hang in there

Kayti

[Ellen Ritter, PhD]

Elysium, your story breaks my heart and I am so sorry that happened to you, so many times. There are so many times when those we count on to support us let us down. The great thing is that you are here, able to talk about it, and hopefully able to realize how their lack of validation was more their issue and shortcoming than yours.

sometimes the past just has to stay there, in the past, and not let it impact who we are now in the present!

[Malady156]

Never made up a flippin' thing and STILL get accused of that kind of crap. That and the whole "oh you must want attention" thing. ORLY?? Do people live like flipping recluses avoiding all human contact because they "want attention"? Does posting on a flipping message board -- WHERE EVERY FREAKING BODY ELSE HAS COME TO TALK ABOUT THEIR CRAP AS WELL, HELLOOOOO -- constitute "wanting attention"?? And this differs from every other person who posts to a message board to talk about their MH issues HOW, exactly????

That crap (those types of accusations) just happen to be nothing but toxic and abusive, plain and simple, with no redeeming value whatsoever, PERIOD. and YOU don't have to stand for it or put up with it, ever.

People who make accusations like that need to be ... well, Mal would probably get banned if it said what they should have done to them. Suffice to say they don't deserve to live. They be garbage and filth, liars, gossips, slime, guttersnipes, world way better off without them. *grumble*

TRUTH of the matter JUST so happens to be, that people make up those sh**ty accusations to cover up for their OWN lack of caring. If they ain't obviously and overtly the nasty bully type, they invariably will be the type of people that desperately NEED to be seen as "good" people -- loving, caring -- usually for religious reasons (they need to delude themselves about their true nature and moral integrity in order to keep their pathetic "faith" propped up, etc.) and they cannot BEAR the fact that they find themselves either envying you or holding you in contempt or usually (believe it or not) both. Their insecurities gnaw at them, they know you can see right through those as well, so they do this as a form of "pre-emptive social strike" to try to deny you any validity whatsoever and turn the tide of public opinion against you. Some people bes just downright cruel and REFUSE to let you have ANY love, or goodwill, or well wishes or good opinion from ANYONE just because you don't agree with THEM and they will stop at NOTHING to rob you of this by spreading lies and malicious insinuations and false accusations. Again, people like that, we might say "they deserve to die" but really, death would be too good for them.