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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2004
Location: Southeast Florida
Posts: 3,355
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Mar 14, 2005 at 07:22 PM
#1
I feel so conflicted about the public vs. private chat room.
I hate it that some people feel left out when others go into private chat. But I don't want to feel guilty if I go into protected chat for whatever the personal reasons might be. I feel badly that some people come into public chat and go away feeling left out. But I hate feeling guilty that I was conversationally competent enough to please all people all of the time. Or that someone comes to social wanting comfort. I don't know how to please all of the people all of the time -- and I want to. __________________ 
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2004
Location: PA USA
Posts: 7,878
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Mar 14, 2005 at 07:36 PM
#2
Hun just stay in what ever chat makes you feel good, you have to please yourself
Angie __________________  A good day is when the crap hits the fan and I have time to duck. |
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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 22,211
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20 397 hugs
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Mar 14, 2005 at 07:41 PM
#3
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I don't know how to please all of the people all of the time -- and I want to. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> You can't, Hun. Even Abraham Lincoln said so. 
__________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Mar 14, 2005 at 07:41 PM
#4
Bingo Angie... you hit the nail on the head. Wants2, I have a hard time with wanting to please everyone all the time too. That's why I post so much... probably too much. I want to support everyone cause when I need it I want everyone to support me. I know the feeling about the private chats. I kinda took a beating once when I went into a private room to help someone with a problem. Thing is that the meeting was prearranged. Sometimes you just have to say to hell with it. I'm gonna do my thing and worry about just me for a change.
Ryan |
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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 22,211
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20 397 hugs
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Mar 14, 2005 at 07:47 PM
#5
You mean other people don't understand that sometimes someone feels comfortable with only one other person to discuss a problem? Or maybe they just want a one on one for whatever reason? OR... better yet, don't have a nasty mind?
 LOL Just kidding... but then again, maybe not. Ages ago, when I was active in an AOL chat room, when two people went into a private room or were busy IMing each other and not participating in the general chat, we said they were "in the loft."  LOLGAWD! You can't always be responsible for other people's feelings. 
__________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2004
Location: Southeast Florida
Posts: 3,355
19 49 hugs
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Mar 14, 2005 at 09:24 PM
#6
BTW, that was supposed to read "conversationally INcompetent" not competent. I need to proofread myself more carefully.
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 15,093
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Mar 15, 2005 at 11:43 AM
#7
Your thoughts about this are absolutely noble. Remember though that you are not responsible for the other people in the chat rooms. You must take care of yourself first.
My private chats aren't to leave anyone out but to help me or someone else who doesn't want to upset the entire chat. There are sometimes things a person just can't say to a whole room full of people, but they can manage sharing it with just one or maybe two people. I was terribly hurt by something that happened in chat recently. Looking back, it was no one's fault, it just was one of those things. There was no harm meant, so I had to shake it off. If people leave unsatisfied, maybe they'll speak up the next time. It is up to them to speak their needs. They'll get there. We all love having you there. Please don't worry. All is well. Hugs, Jan __________________ I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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Grand Member
Member Since Dec 2004
Posts: 530
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Mar 15, 2005 at 12:23 PM
#8
i understand that conflict myself...but my feeling is that there are simply some conflicts of such a nature that people feel that they need a more private place to talk about them. I certainly wish that I were always that person they feel most comfortable with (my human ego talking), but realistically, I know that just as in day to day life...different people , different problems, require different support sources...and I just tell myself that i'm glad that they have a place to go and a person or persons that they feel comfortable confiding in. That usually makes my "jealousy" or guilty pangs go away......grace
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,917
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Mar 15, 2005 at 01:05 PM
#9
*hugs* I feel the same way
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